"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Interest Level Drops Overnight...

Paintballguy

Paintballguy

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This girl I have been talking to/dating called me up the day before yesterday asking me to go to the ocean with her for the 4th. So, I head down there with her and she rides with me. On the way down, I got the holding hands and my hand on her leg thing going on which is good. Then when we get there, she is all over me. I ended up sleeping with her but I couldnt do anything cause her friend (girl) was in the bed also.

The next morning, she is like all pissy towards me and is very closed. Then she starts getting all over this guy that was down there also. So, I just start flirting with her friend and sister. And I pretty much just ignored her.

I'm nexting her either way, I just want to figure out why she changed overnight. I have another girl lined up so I don't really care about her.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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speed dawg

speed dawg

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I've found that vacations with chicks you're just starting to talk to always ends bad. Happened to me about a year ago. Then, you're just stuck with them down there, to further dwindle their interest.
 
R

rocky_mtn

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Paintballguy said:
...

I'm nexting her either way, I just want to figure out why she changed overnight. I have another girl lined up so I don't really care about her.
Click to expand...

No one can figure out why women do anything, because women don't think, they feel. Their actions are not logical because they don't use logic. Could be PMS, could be she's jealous, could be you did something or didn't do something.

Don't over analyze it.
 
K

knsito

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it was probably because it was a holiday, and she didnt want to feel alone on that "special day"
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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V

vp171s

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maybe she was expecting something and you didn't deliver, in any case, her problem not yours
 
speed dawg

speed dawg

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Paintballguy said:
What should I do?

Just next her?
Click to expand...
No, just don't contact her. Put her on the backburner. If she does call, be too busy for her, don't jump at the first opportunity she gives you. Treat it like it's over. Nothing you can do. You're developing oneitis for a girl you don't even know.
 
B

Big Eee Zee

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speed dawg said:
I've found that vacations with chicks you're just starting to talk to always ends bad. Happened to me about a year ago. Then, you're just stuck with them down there, to further dwindle their interest.
Click to expand...

I totally agree, the exact same thing happened to me, big time.

wonder why that is...
 
C

chevelle

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THis usually happens when they are two timing you and she replaces you with the male she's cheating on you with!

Attractive or social girls have lots of options, so don't be surprised if this happens to you, fellow DJ's. Make sure you are doing the same--aka don't just date 1 girl--date lot's :D
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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I

IsiMan84

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She probably was looking for that sneaky sex. I woulda banged her right next to the sleeping friend. And if the friend wakes up then just look at her, pause a second, and go back at it again. The worst she can do is go back to sleep haha.
 
X

xblitz44x

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It probably didn't happen overnight. My guess is that this girl is young and young girls have moods that swing like crazy. It's nothing that you did or didn't do. Don't overanalyze, just read and react.
 
Y

Yuriy777

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You couldn't do anything because her female friend was sleeping next to you?! Why? Nervous?

If she was "all over" you then that's probobly what she wanted. Hell, maybe her friend would have joined in (I assume this is the same person you were hitting on later after she gave you the cold shoulder).

Like with most girls you don't have to formally "next" her... Just stop calling her. If she calls you, the ball is in your court and you can either be too busy or try again.


Also, as everyone else said I wouldn't go on vacation with a girl I just met/started dating, unless I was getting very high IOI, we would be alone (or with a female friend ;) ), it was for a short period of time, AND it didn't fall on a major holiday.
But that's just me.
 
I

IsiMan84

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If fact, now that I think about it even more, I think she was setting you up for a 3some. And even if she wasn't, it could have been made one very quickly and easily. Shoulda taken that bait with gusto my friend.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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D

d9930380

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Something similar happened to me except the girl came up with a group of friends and I was told by one of them that not only the first girl but another one of them liked me too, she said just go with it and see what happens.

Anyway - I make my "choice" and go with the first but as we are going to bed to "sleep" the second one says "You can't do anything without me". Boom. It really was to sleep :-(

Again the girl acted cold and withdrawn the next day. I didn't have a "choice" - it was either both or nothing.

You where probably setup for a threesome - If you hadn't been - she would have gotten the second girl to sleep somewhere else.

Sorry mate - I felt rightly pissed off with myself the next day and I bet you do too.
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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