Interest Level booster...

[Hyper2010]

Hi there,
I have a quick question regarding a situation I am currently in. Ill keep this as short as I can, and wondered in anyone has been in this situation and has any advice...

Ive been seeing a girl who we'll can Vicki for nearly 12 weeks now and things are going up and down a little. For the first month or so I maintained my confidence, didnt text back straight away, never called and generally kept her at a distance whilst I carried on with other things in my life. During this time I was recieving 25+ texts a day from her, she displayed very high interest and we were intimate pretty much every time we met.
However, at about the 5th week she decided it would be better for us to become a couple and get all girlfriendy and boyfriendy. One thing she repeatedly asked me to do was to let my gaurd down and stop being so masculine and dominant around her. This was a struggle for me and still is now, but Ive made an allowance and have become slightly less alpha/controlling around her.
Recently though Ive noticed that she has shown me considerably less respect, and has asked that we take our time and not see eachother 3+ times a week as we had been doing. Now Im wondering, is this due to the fact that Ive been less manly around her and is she asking for a way out? And if I stop being the one doing the texting as I now often am and give her space to miss me, will this perhaps sort things out...?? Any ideas?

As an aside, we have only been intimate with eachother twice in the last 2 weeks, and Im wondering if this also is due to the fact that I have stopped being the one to make the first move on her? As an example, I went to her house last night and she asked if we both fancied going watching a DVD upstairs in her bed. She then got slightly angry when I stated I wanted a shower instead. When I got out she was waiting for me in bed but nothing happened, and I get the impression she wanted something to happen as she wasnt wearing any underwear....Is she waiting for me to man up and make the first move?

Any ideas???

Phil who feels like an AFC

 

[J. Darko]

Stop playing games and do whatever you feel like with believe in yourself.

You said you want to shower instead of watching a dvd. Did you realise you were declining her request for sex and she was feeling rejected? Or was this just one of those games they teach you on Sosuave.

What do you mean with alpha/controlling/dominant? Are you acting like you are her father?

Just stop the games and start being human.

 

[vatoloco]

So she decided that you two were going to become GF/BF? And you went along with it without a fight?

She asked you to stop being masculine? Seriously? And you complied, like a good little boy? Amazing!

She shows you less respect? Of course she is going to show less respect. Every time you're not a man, you lose respect points! Dude, you were seeing her 3+ times a week and she even asked you to stop seeing each other so much? Her interest in you is in freaking free fall.

And of course, this girl is basically telling you "let's fvck" with that kind of invitation and instead you go shower? You make the first move? Of course! You're supposed to be the man, no?

Sounds to me like she wanted to domesticate you and now that she's achieved it, has lost interest. She'll probably keep you around for a few more weeks (depending on how good the sex is and how quickly she can find another "branch") but if I were you, I'd be looking for new plates to spin...

 

[scribblec]

Stop playing games and do whatever you feel like with believe in yourself.

You said you want to shower instead of watching a dvd. Did you realise you were declining her request for sex and she was feeling rejected? Or was this just one of those games they teach you on Sosuave.

What do you mean with alpha/controlling/dominant? Are you acting like you are her father?

Just stop the games and start being human.

the guy just registered today and straight away u assume that its what they teach on sosuave... how about you go **** yourself if your not happy with things around here

 

[Hyper2010]

Quick update...I tried to be spontaneous and sent her some flowers at 11:am this morning. All I got was a text back saying I cannot send things to her workplace. Not really sure where to go from here as she hasnt texted me back since and its nearly 5pm (England Time). The way I see it I have 3 options:

1) Back the hell out, get off the beach and let her do the contacting from now on. Be a challenge and let her chase me if she wants to...

2) Do nothing

3) Call it quits

This is driving me slightly daft, any opinions no matter how harsh would be very much appreciated

Phil

 

[scribblec]

lmfao your just burying yourself deeper... have u even read the dj bible?


why the **** would you send her flowers at work are you trying to buy her love?

best thing to do is leave it

 

[Kailex]

I have a few questions for you:

(1) Were you spinning plates (Translation: Dating other women) in your first month with her?

(2) Was the only thing that she texted to you after your flower-sending: "You can't send me anything to work"? Did she at least say "Thanks" or "They're beautiful but you can't..."?

(3) Do you know where the DJ Bible is located?



At this point, I doubt you could reframe this. You sent flowers out of desperation. First of all, she roped you in after a MONTH. You CAN'T do this. Her IL has SHOT down because you are no longer a challenge to her. She has you tied down and now the whole frame is hers.

Your OP basically described the process that a marriage goes through in YEARS. You've experienced it all in 3 MONTHS.

Granted, sending flowers was a TERRIBLE move, if that was all her text said... she's also an ungrateful wench.

 

[nismo-4]

I have a few questions for you:

(1) Were you spinning plates (Translation: Dating other women) in your first month with her?

(2) Was the only thing that she texted to you after your flower-sending: "You can't send me anything to work"? Did she at least say "Thanks" or "They're beautiful but you can't..."?

(3) Do you know where the DJ Bible is located?



At this point, I doubt you could reframe this. You sent flowers out of desperation. First of all, she roped you in after a MONTH. You CAN'T do this. Her IL has SHOT down because you are no longer a challenge to her. She has you tied down and now the whole frame is hers.

Your OP basically described the process that a marriage goes through in YEARS. You've experienced it all in 3 MONTHS.

Granted, sending flowers was a TERRIBLE move, if that was all her text said... she's also an ungrateful wench.

Sage Kailex proves a lot of points in this case. Judge Nismo-4 is very disappointed in you. You became a little boy beyond a reasonable doubt. :box:

You will be charged with giving up your power, no spinning plates, and sending flowers (Desperation), and challenge dropping (Predictability). I'm more disappointed in you for this than I am for the Boston Celtics losing the final game.

 

[bukowski_merit]

Ive been seeing a girl who we'll can Vicki for nearly 12 weeks now and things are going up and down a little. For the first month or so I maintained my confidence, didnt text back straight away, never called and generally kept her at a distance whilst I carried on with other things in my life. During this time I was recieving 25+ texts a day from her, she displayed very high interest and we were intimate pretty much every time we met.

Of course, this is typical for most men when they start a relationship; which is why the women are so into them.... at first...

However, at about the 5th week she decided it would be better for us to become a couple and get all girlfriendy and boyfriendy.

This is her trying to betaise you. This is her saying "give me exclusiveness so i can own your nuts"... The double bind is - if you give her the exclusiveness ON HER TERMS - she will naturally lose attraction.... Suck, i know... but it's the way things work.... She led in this situation and you followed, which = loss of attraction every time.

One thing she repeatedly asked me to do was to let my gaurd down and stop being so masculine and dominant around her.

The most important part of her betaising attempt is having the "open up to me" discussion.... What she means is - "stop being such a hard @ss and let me walk all over you".... What's funny is - this woman went as far as to pretty much say that when she said to stop being masculine and dominant. Most women don't go that far... they just end with the "open up more" part... which means "be more feminine with me".

My response:
Woman: "Open up to me. Stop being so masculine and dominant around me"
Me: "Come on!" (get up grab my keys start walking for door)
Woman: "Where are we going?"
Me: "To the gay bar; we're going to find you a nice feminine, submissive man...."
Woman: "why don't you take me serious? im being serious."
Me: "or maybe you would like a female instead? A feminine, submissive female sound good to you?"

then i'd keep p!ssing her off, at some point tell her she's boring me and withdraw from the conversation, once she's done yelling - then i fvck her...

This was a struggle for me and still is now, but Ive made an allowance and have become slightly less alpha/controlling around her.

alpha doesn't = controlling of another person. It = controlling of yourself, state, frame, and emotions.

Recently though Ive noticed that she has shown me considerably less respect, and has asked that we take our time and not see eachother 3+ times a week as we had been doing.

Of course she's showing you less respect because you've given her some of your balls to hold.... She's testing to see how much she can get away with with you.... And because you've bought into her frame of not being "controlling" - you're letting her get away with a lot more than you should.

As far as not seeing each other much; i assume you fought that? My response (whenever i say "my response" im not telling you to do what i say; just showing you what i would do.)

Woman: "We should take our time and not see each other the 3+ times a week we have been."
Me: "Yes, life is short. Let's only see each other once a month." (<- you're taking it to an unrealistic extreme that she will not accept; which makes it HER who is trying to validate why you should see each other more. Completely flipping it on her.)
Woman: "What? You could get by only seeing me once a month?"
Me: "Maybe once every two months" (smack her ass)
Woman: "Are you being serious?" (shocked)
Me: (Hop up and throw her down on the bed; tickle her; etc).....

Then fvck her....

All she's doing when she does stuff like this is seeing if you'll eat the sh!t that comes out of her @ss.... Unless you like the taste of it - just treat her like she's 4 and everything she says is silly.

Now Im wondering, is this due to the fact that Ive been less manly around her and is she asking for a way out? And if I stop being the one doing the texting as I now often am and give her space to miss me, will this perhaps sort things out...?? Any ideas?

Yes, it's because you've been less manly, and maybe because you ARE seeing each other too much. Become busy with other things in life.... A guy with 1 woman in his life and nothing else only has one concern in life.... The more hobbies/careers/other women you can get in your life - the less you care about one woman; the less time you have for her as well.

If you follow that path - you will soon be getting "why does it seem like you don't have time for me anymore?" - - - Which should be taken as the ultimate compliment! It means her interest is going back up.

As an aside, we have only been intimate with eachother twice in the last 2 weeks, and Im wondering if this also is due to the fact that I have stopped being the one to make the first move on her?

That and she's bored and since she's bored - she'll begin to create more and more drama for you.

As an example, I went to her house last night and she asked if we both fancied going watching a DVD upstairs in her bed. She then got slightly angry when I stated I wanted a shower instead. When I got out she was waiting for me in bed but nothing happened, and I get the impression she wanted something to happen as she wasnt wearing any underwear....Is she waiting for me to man up and make the first move?

YES! You got it. She wanted you to fvck her. Taking the shower wasn't a bad idea as it probably just made her more horny.... But then not fvcking her??? Yeah, that's a mistake....

This woman is the type that doesn't want the responsibility for decisions to fall on her.... A very submissive woman at heart.... She may say she doesn't want dominance... But that's just her instincts talking....

You want this girl to gain her attraction back?

- Go back to leading her.
- Don't take her BS moments serious.
- Fvck her! And fvck her good!
- Don't take her BS serious.
- When she tries to set a guideline in the relationship - take the guideline from her and take it to an obnoxious extreme that says "i don't give a fvck about you"
- The more dominant you are (regardless of her objections) - the more she gets wet for you....
- Then you fvck her and fvck her good!

The best way to get her to stop talking her BS - is to slip a d!ck in her mouth.

 

[Hyper2010]

Advice....

Hi guys,
Thanks for the comments, possibly some of the best advice Ive had in a long time...

Now, Ill put that into practice and take on board what you guys have said, and if for nothing more than an experiment Ill see what happens...

Ill keep you posted... ;-)

Phil

 

[jophil28]

Hi guys,
Thanks for the comments, possibly some of the best advice Ive had in a long time...

Now, Ill put that into practice and take on board what you guys have said, and if for nothing more than an experiment Ill see what happens...

Ill keep you posted... ;-)

Phil

Hyper, you have been given some GOLD in the responses above. It is unlikely that you can absorb it all and act accordingly, so I am going to give you ONE idea to think about which MAY save you from the looming FriendZone.

You and she got together when you were dominant and masculine- she fukked you on demand when you were dominant and masculine. Doesn't that tell you that you were EXACTLY the kind of guy who got her 'gina tingling.
SO why did you fall for her weak attempt to grab control of your ballz when she told you that she wanted you to soften ?
Did you think that softening and becoming less masculine would get you MORE pvssy ? Sounds like you had it all going on to me.
Why is it that guys NEVER realize that women fall for us the way we were when we first hook up?

Then when the inevitable sh!t tests start, and she creates all that faked-up drama, we bend over backwards to NOT be the guy we were back when she could not drop her panties quick enough .

In a sentence- do not bend to her whims or her whining. She will hate you for it. Ya dig ?

 

[Boxer]

The best way to get her to stop talking her BS - is to slip a d!ck in her mouth.

HAHAHAA that comment had me laughing out loud!

 

[Hyper2010]

Response...

Just to let you know, today I put quite a bit of the advice I was given into practice...

I cracked on with other things, hobbies, family etc and started spinning some more plates also..

I didnt text her today and waited for her to make the first move in regards to communication...and then only really gave brief answers when I replied..

She then texted me saying she missed me, and also that she had 'begun taking me for granted and that it is good for us to miss eachother a bit'. So by pulling out and being busier I am hoping this indicated a gradual rise in her interest...

Any ideas guys?

Phil

 

[Scion]

your too outcome dependent, so I see this failing.

 

[jophil28]

She then texted me saying she missed me, and also that she had 'begun taking me for granted and that it is good for us to miss eachother a bit'.

Phil

Phil, my good chap. Just being busy and unavailable is not always a guarantee that her IL will shoot up. It is human nature to miss someone (or something) who is unavailable only if that person represents high value to us.

Unfortunately, her admission that she was "taking you for granted" is her way of telling you that her interest level is dropping fast. It is womanspeek.
Her request that you be less masculine was both a sh!t test of your willingness to comply with her wishes, and a power grab by her,
These tests are a perfect example of the old saying ," IF you give her what she asks for, you just failed the test." That failure leads to the inevitable consequence of her lower attraction for you and "taking you or granted" is a further consequence.

Here, try this -
She says," Why cant you be less dominant ..softer and more open to me ?"
Phil replies ," Hmmm, I know a guy who would fit perfectly into that requirement - you want his number ?"

Another -
She says,"It is a good idea that we miss each other a little."
Phil says, " Great idea, absence make me horny. I will give you a call just before New Years's Eve ."

Ya dig ?

 

[Hyper2010]

Pedestal

In that case, I think I will take upon myself the noble duty of knocking her off the pedestal I have placed her on, by initiating an anti BS policy. :box:

 

[Hyper2010]

Update

Hi Guys,
Just wanted to begin by thanking you gents for the good advice I recieved some ten days ago now, and thought Id give you an update as to my situation;

Firstly, none of this needy, insecure flower-delivering BS anymore. Ive reinstated the more powerful, secure actions of when I first met her. I have begun filling up my time and focussing on other things in life, ie career, working out, self-improvement, artwork etc and have set myself some new goals and aims in life. Long and short of it, Im not behaving as though Im a crack-freak and shes the last dealer in the World.

The effects of me not pursuing her were pretty much instant. When she text me I would be allowing 2 maybe 3 hours before a response, and I would be getting repsonses such as ''its irritating that you never pay me attention anymore'' or ''Im really missing you''. In terms of seeing her, I only allowed her to see me once over the weekend, and things seemed a lot newer and more refreshed than a week ago. Combine that with my playful ****iness, and she became very intimate with me again very quickly, to the extent that she was offering it on a silver platter.

I also feel a lot more in control of things, specifically I no longer feel like a doormat and feel as though have a new sense of confidence in myself and in my situations. Also, she told me that she was in love with me, which took me by suprise! I think she was hoping/testing I would say it back, so I said ''how much?'' (opens her arms) so my response then was ''Really? I have lots of gay friends who could love you better''

Ive also begun spinning some other plates as well, and things are progressing with them nicely also.I know the key thing now is not to become complacent, but really just wanted to thank you, and I would look forward to hearing any opinions.

Thanks again,

Phil

 

[scribblec]

all sounds bull**** to me, u seem to have known what to do from the start then you became textbook afc then 3-4 days later became a donjuan again all in the space of a week and you only have 6 posts which all happen to be in this thread


sounds fishy to me, if thats not the case then im happy you took the advice and its paying off for you

 

[Hyper2010]

interesting situation

Hya,
Just a quick update on the situation...

Things have been gping well for a while, but recently my gfs ex husband has invited her on holiday with her, as well as taking her child with them. She says she will go because she dosent trust him, and want to make sure their kid is looked after...

Am i being paranoid? What woyld you guys make of this?

 

[Radharc]

Hya,
Just a quick update on the situation...

Things have been gping well for a while, but recently my gfs ex husband has invited her on holiday with her, as well as taking her child with them. She says she will go because she dosent trust him, and want to make sure their kid is looked after...

Am i being paranoid? What woyld you guys make of this?

Well, if your gut is telling you something its likely because there are some reasons to it. What are those reasons?

She has frequent contact with her ex? The kid been alone with the father for long periods before?