"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Interacting with Quiet/Shy Girls?

Genos

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I met a girl the other day, international student from singapore, super cute, great smile, just my type. :D

But, she's rather quiet. Not only does she not talk much, but even her actual voice is quiet, heh. Anyway, when we talk, it's always me initiating a conversation thread. She'll respond, but doesn't really give me anything to go off of. She kind of just directly answers the question and doesn't feed me anything great to ask a follow-up question to.

I realize that some periods of silence are part of a normal, healthy conversation. So, after I ask her something a couple times, I let the conversation drop. She made NO attempt to start things up again. Most women I've talked to, even if she's uninterested, will at least make an effort to talk to the person sitting next to them out of politeness >_>

I don't believe it's because she's uninterested- when we're actually talking she's smiling, her body language is good (legs pointed towards me), and she's listening to what I have to say.

In general, just looking for advice on how to effectively interact with shy/quieter women. Any tips?
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Between_The_Lines

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Have you fvcked her yet? If she's not putting out and she's got zero personality to boot, you're going to eventually grow quite frustrated. Some people only have so much offer. There's something endearingly feminine and alluring about shy girls, but if you find yourself consistently 'stooping' to connect with her, if talking to her is like pulling teeth, rather than giving you some sort of gameplan to get her talking, my advice would be to enjoy whatever she brings to the table and find a girl who you don't have to figure out a way to get her to open up.
 

Konada

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Being a Singaporean, I can say we are stuck in a mix of western culture vs traditional values so you will have extremes at both ends. Seems like you're dealing with a quiet one who needs some time warming up to people. Keep on talking to her!
 

salinechow

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I would say IF, you want to keep putting in the effort, you conversations need to get more towards creative thinking and stream of conscience thought.

Some people are better at that kind of thinking and responding.

Try these:

Would you rather be a master of every musical instrument or be fluent in every language?

Do you sing in the shower?

Would you rather go forward or back in time?

Would you rather take a guaranteed $100,000 or a 50/50 chance at $1,000,000?

I know its a little juvenile and corny but I am just trying to help where you asked.

Furthermore, this is a great practice in frame. You cannot become frustrated with her. If you do you'll be off your game and she will sense it too and recoil even more.

Two other things:

Isnt to much smiling a a big negative in eastern cultures?

Also body language differences and anomalies exist in different cultures so just be aware of that too.

Hell while we are at it, why all the talking anyway? Are you sure you are not just trying to make yourself feel more comfortable? Maybe just lead her to a date, enjoy the silence and just use physical interactions to close.
 

Genos

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@BTL, nope haven't had sex with her, nor gone on a date; I do have her number though.

We have a class together, so I see her twice a week; more often than not, we take the same bus towards that class together as well, so there's pretty much always going to be some interaction. I definitely want to get to know her, if I can.

But saline you might be right, she may be uninterested. I mean, my initial gut reaction was that there's interest based on her reactions, but perhaps I could be wrong.

But even women who I KNOW are not interested in me at least make good conversation; I cannot get this girl to open up and talk about herself. It's almost become I game I play with myself twice a week, can I get her to speak up haha >_>
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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