"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Insane problem

In Motion

Senior Don Juan
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Well guys, this is some crazy stuff. Because I cant control it. Why? Because its happening in my subconcious. You see, there's a girl, like always. This is a girl that I used to have oneitis for. I dont anymore though, and certain events that happened between me and her have led to that we feel sorta awkaward around eachother and we're not as good friends as we used to be. This problem is killing me. You see almost every single night I dream, always different stuff, but there is one which has the same theme. Yeah, you guessed it, its about her.

In these dreams, we seem to be great friends and have laughs and physical intimacy. And when I wake up, I always feel like it was completely real, and thats how we are. Obviously im not a moron so soon I realize that im being retard about it. But it still leaves me with a feeling that she is more then she really is.

I know, its COMPLETELY riduculous. Personally I would prefer that I never saw her again, but thats not gonna happen since shes in my class. I just want these dreams to stop, but theres obviously something in my subconcious that wants her. Its not really ruining my game or my relationships, but its really annoying. Make it go away for fvcks sake!
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Interceptor

Master Don Juan
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IM,
the problem lies in your inability to accept the situation, and your inability to forgive yourself and her.
You are trying to recapture something that has gone for the time being.

Holding on to that does not let you move on, nor her, becasue she will react to how YOU are seeing the situation.
If you're still uncomfortable, SHE will continue to be uncomfortable.

There will be a time when you both will be at least courteous and polite, but perhaps never as close as you once were.
You have to be prepared to accept that.
That is a reality in life that you will encounter.
Relationships will end, and/or change.
You must be real about this. And accept it. Allow it. And understand it.

Work on forgiving yourself and her.

Meditate daily on your Self Acceptance.
Allowing the circumstance to occur, because it is TEACHING You something about life.
Accept that she will react according to her perception filters, not yours. So she will act based on what she thinks of the situation. You have no control over her perception filters. Accept that.
Because that is how real Life works.
You were never responsible for another person's perception about you.
You cant control their thoughts, so you must develop the emotional strenght to deal with that. And you must be kind enough to allow yourself to make mistakes.
If she cannot accept that you made some errors in judgements, then that is her problem.
But dont you beat yourself up for it.
Accept that you made mistakes, and learn from them. Take the situation in stride, and learn how to forgive yourself, and her. And get a mature perspective on the situation.
Life goes on.
YOU need to deal with it, and move forward.
If she cant, or doesnt know how, you cant be responsible for that.

Your best bet is to handle the situation maturely and gracefully, so she can observe your ease , appreciation, and grace in handling the situation.
Sometimes you have to lead by example.

So try to rethink this whole situation. It may not always be this way. Perhaps you two will never be together, but you must develop that kind of strength, chracter, wisdom, and maturity to accept that.
You will experience situations with women who will be unattainable to you.
You better start accepting that now.


Step back, and gain perspective.


Learn how to accept these situations with grace.

Things like this do happen, so use this situation to gain wisdom on how to interact properly in the future.
 

In Motion

Senior Don Juan
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DonS said:
I love it: You used to have oneitis for this chick, but "I no longer have oneitis", You only spend every sleeping night dreaming about "having sex" with her. LOL. Ah, denial: the most predictable of human emotions.

Interceptors post is a good start. After that you need to toughen up your game and get to the point where you are bored of having sex with 9's; then you won't even give a damn about this chick.
First of all: Thank you Interceptor for the advice. Reps. I try to act normal and confident around her, and from what I am experiencing, its working great. Trying to silence my subconcious however will be harder;)

DonS: I cant control my ****ing dreams! I DONT give a **** about her and I do get action at parties and other places. My point is that there is a voice in the back of my head, my subconcious, thats yelling me a message about this girl. This is my problem, I need to silence the voice and yes, Interceptors post is a good start. But you on the other hand dont help me much.
 
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