"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Inepxerienced girl, lack of eye contact..etc.

unnamed04

Don Juan
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Hey guys, i'll try to keep this short and start with some background.

Girl, let's call her Sarah, and I hookup at a work party at the start of the year, she is 16, I am 18. She cheated on her boyfriend of 2 months with me, and was pretty drunk, but anyway. She is a christian in terms of morals and beliefs but does drink and believe in sex before marriage. She has hooked up with 6 or so guys in her life and is a virgin, even though before the last boyfriend, she was with some guy for over a year.

Anyway, she isn't "hot" so to speak, she is just cute. I have kissed 4 girls in my life, and that is all. Gotta start somewhere hey.

She always seems sorta "shy" ish. As in, she never initiates anything (or rarely) in terms of kissing, kino or anything. And she never holds eye contact, only glances every now and then. She invited me over to her place the other night and we were in her bed, and she just wouldn't initiate anything, and eye contact was minimal.

There was no hesitation at all from her when I went in for the kiss on many occasions, or any kino on her stomach or ass or whatever (I would have escalated but I don't want to push her away). She did some minor hand wandering when we were making out (though, each time didnt last for very long), and maybe one kino attempt over the course of the night.

We do get along quite well, and she has told her friends and other people that I am a "guy she is seeing", which I guess is a good thing since we havn't spoken about any titles or whatever (should I let her bring it up... I'm sure everyone in the past has asked her, so maybe she is expecting it)

Is this normal? How long does it take for her to start to open up, and initiate ...something. She said to me when we were talking about things after some drama (involving another girl on my behalf.. even though there was nothing really official between me and sarah yet she was still hurt, but thats another story), "i'm not one to be all over a guy, never have been, never will be". Meaning?

Anything I should be doing?

Thanks a bunch!
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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AC/DC

Master Don Juan
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Firstly, I'm not really believing the whole virgin thing. I don't believe anyone.

Second, she sounds pretty interested, and slightly jealous. That's definitely good.

In any case, keep up the good work, and make sure she stays happy.
 

unnamed04

Don Juan
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But what about the lack of eye contact and stuff. We'd be lying there talking and she'd be on my arm or what-not, looking at something on her wall or whatever...

All comes with time? (guess who's the relationship noob hehe)

Re: The virgin thing. Yes I do agree with you, but I do believe her, or maybe I just want to believe her. As much as it may be common for girls to loose their virginity at younger ages these days, I can't really see her losing it at 15 and a half or whatever she was when she was with the 1year dude, especially since she isn't really the loud outragous person. She is very self-concious and reserved, though, has no issues getting drunk and doing silly things (though, she still isn't a loud drunk). Ok now im rambling.
 

gravstar

Don Juan
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Her being self conscious explains the minimal eye contact bit. People who are on the shy side tend to do this. I really don't know why but its common in shy people.
 
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