"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Indirect methods not that different from internet

Jestor

Don Juan
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Indirect methods often get slammed because they appear to be excuses to give the guy a chance to talk to the girl. Direct mentality states that you *should* be able to not make excuses, and just go up to a girl and start talking to her without resorting to group theory, or opinion openers.

Ultimately when you reach a point in your game where you are completely comfortable around women, then you can start focusing more on better methods which don't necessarily signal interest right away. These methods are good because, as I mentioned in a previous post, they allow the woman to choose you. She doesn't have you, yet. This is not just some bullsh*t affirmation that you repeat to yourself but haven't really internalized. You actually *want* the woman to do her part. You require it of yourself, and of her. "But, but...I am not really the man if I can't just go up to her and say I like her", and on and on the debate goes.

But we all know indirect methods work, if done from the position that you are not easy to attain, and that people need to work for your attention. Indirect methods do not work if the guys executing them are scared and uncomfortable around women. To them I would say, go direct on many many women. Build confidence. Be bold. Get your inner game straightened out first. And then use indirect methods. Do this and you'll be thinking to yourself, "yeah i could go up to that girl and tell her I like her, starting kino right away etc, BUT it's a better chess move to structure the interaction so that she has to chase me a bit."

Now, the internet is often slammed also for the same reason. You are not actually approaching the girl directly. You have to rely on a medium to do something you can do in real life. Therefore it is weak. Well, how is this different from indirect guys relying on group theory, or opinion openers rather than just going up and saying, "hey.. what's up, I like you".

The internet is technology, I use it not as a crutch but as a sort of board game strategy. It does not make me a geek. The internet is merely a search engine which automates the Find part for me, keeping the Meet, Attract, and Close parts essentially the same. At this stage being efficient is more important to me than scoring "alpha" points.

The effort it takes me is less than the effort it would take me to meet an equivalent number of women from club or street sarging. I am not scared of cold approaching. I have done it countless times. I do not fear rejection like I once did either. I have dealt with my approach-fear demons with countless approaches and blowouts. I have no confidence problems with women. I no longer need to prove to myself that I can approach direct, and show a woman I want her ASAP. I've done it over and over again. And the failure of this approach was not inner game, because at the time I knew FOR SURE I had her, but too often I did not. Therefore, all game is NOT inner game AND you CAN'T do what you want when you want. There are positions to play, and everyone has a role.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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