In the end they just don’t care, what now?

[Maxtro]

Today was the last day of my social dance class. When I left, I didn’t say bye to either of the girls I’m interested in.

It was a test day. As we were in line to turn in the test one of the girls looked at me and smiled. When I handed in my test and turned around she was gone. I was hoping she wouldn’t pack up so fast and disappear. It was a serious blow to my ego. I’ve been with this girl for two semesters of dance classes and she’s graduating in a couple of weeks. I’m never going to see her at school again. I’ve talked to her before every class session we had together for two semesters. Her leaving without saying bye really hurt. I do have her number and Facebook so I could see her again.

The other girl I’ve talked to pretty often as well and I’ve hung out with her group on a couple of occasions. She did stick around after class and she was talking to two of her friends and I was just hanging around. I was talking to her a little bit but not that much. When they all left and I’m still leaning against the wall I could tell that she didn’t care about me all that much. I ended up fallowing them down the hall and went my own direction without saying bye. I didn’t really make any effort to tag along and I was still hurt from the first girl. I don’t have her number but I do have her Facebook.

The fact that neither of the girls thought I was important enough to say goodbye to and when we will probably never see each other again didn't make me feel good about myself. I made a serious effort to more sociable this semester and especially with these girls and it just didn’t mean anything to them.

So next week is finals week. Then after that I’m going back to the Bay Area for a couple of weeks. Then I’m going back to SoCal for summer school. I’m thinking about asking them out when I get back to SoCal but I don’t know if I should even bother. It's obvious neither of the girls are interested. Since I almost never get any interest from girls it's not surprising that they aren't into me.

I wonder if I should make any effort to contact these girls before I get back to SoCal or if I should just forget that they exist.

 

[Kal0051]

I think your right that their just not interested. If they were you'd know more than likely. So just find another girl, there's got to be more around where you live.

 

[DonJuan11]

Today was the last day of my social dance class. When I left, I didn’t say bye to either of the girls I’m interested in.

It was a test day. As we were in line to turn in the test one of the girls looked at me and smiled. When I handed in my test and turned around she was gone. I was hoping she wouldn’t pack up so fast and disappear. It was a serious blow to my ego. I’ve been with this girl for two semesters of dance classes and she’s graduating in a couple of weeks. I’m never going to see her at school again. I’ve talked to her before every class session we had together for two semesters. Her leaving without saying bye really hurt. I do have her number and Facebook so I could see her again.

You've been here forever and still don't get it. Dude, YOU HAVE TO BOOST HER EGO, not the other way around. You have to make her feel good about herself, make her laugh, make her relaxed and have fun with you. You are still in your own world that people have to make you happy. How many times do we have to repeat this?

The other girl I’ve talked to pretty often as well and I’ve hung out with her group on a couple of occasions. She did stick around after class and she was talking to two of her friends and I was just hanging around. I was talking to her a little bit but not that much. When they all left and I’m still leaning against the wall I could tell that she didn’t care about me all that much. I ended up fallowing them down the hall and went my own direction without saying bye.

Wow, conceited and stalkerish, very James Bond like. Can't believe they didn't rip off their clothes in dance class and have sex with you right there because you were leaning on the wall and felt sorry for yourself

The fact that neither of the girls thought I was important enough to say goodbye to and when we will probably never see each other again didn't make me feel good about myself. I made a serious effort to more sociable this semester and especially with these girls and it just didn’t mean anything to them.

See above.

So next week is finals week. Then after that I’m going back to the Bay Area for a couple of weeks. Then I’m going back to SoCal for summer school. I’m thinking about asking them out when I get back to SoCal but I don’t know if I should even bother. It's obvious neither of the girls are interested. Since I almost never get any interest from girls it's not surprising that they aren't into me.

I wonder if I should make any effort to contact these girls before I get back to SoCal or if I should just forget that they exist.

You are almost worse than Caped. You complain and complain and complain about your looks, height, job, education. It can get rather tedious when people try to help you with good advice and you keep arguing with them trying to prove them wrong about how hard the game is. If you didn't know, that's not what a champion make and no girl, or even guy, wants to be around anyone remotely close to that.

 

[frisco]

Why didnt you just ask either girl too go out and celebrate, grab sume lunch dinner, Bar and grill. You put litterally zero effort into taking the relationship outside of the course setting. If those were two guy friends what would you have done?

 

[Luke Skywalker]

I'm sorry, I guess you just don't have it. Nice try though. Better luck next time.

 

[Maxtro]

You've been here forever and still don't get it.

Obviously...

YOU HAVE TO BOOST HER EGO, not the other way around. You have to make her feel good about herself, make her laugh, make her relaxed and have fun with you. You are still in your own world that people have to make you happy. How many times do we have to repeat this?

Boost her ego? Without supplicating? I did try to make them "laugh, relaxed and have fun around me." The problem with the class is that I was only able to talk to them for about seven minutes before class starts, then the 3 minutes were dance partners. The girl that I was into the most always left class early and I never get to talk to her afterwords.

Wow, conceited and stalkerish, very James Bond like. Can't believe they didn't rip off their clothes in dance class and have sex with you right there because you were leaning on the wall and felt sorry for yourself

How was I conceited? If anything I was feeling left out. That's probably because my social skills aren't up to par yet. As for being stalkerish, there was only one door out the building...

You are almost worse than Caped. You complain and complain and complain about your looks, height, job, education. It can get rather tedious when people try to help you with good advice and you keep arguing with them trying to prove them wrong about how hard the game is. If you didn't know, that's not what a champion make and no girl, or even guy, wants to be around anyone remotely close to that.

First off I don't complain about my looks, height, job or education. I may mention my height and looks in threads where they are relevant but I don't complain about them.

The only place I complain on is here, I don't dare do it to people I know. And even then I'm trying to cut back. But today I couldn't help it.

Why didnt you just ask either girl too go out and celebrate, grab sume lunch dinner, Bar and grill. You put litterally zero effort into taking the relationship outside of the course setting. If those were two guy friends what would you have done?

Why? Because I didn't think of it. But that's a freaking awesome idea. I could probably arrange everybody in the group to get together for some dinner and probably some dancing afterwords. I'm going to see if I can pull of some magic.

 

[Captain]

You need to build ATTRACTION

You didn't build any attraction. They weren't attracted to you.

Build attraction >> build comfort >> get number/kiss close

If you don't build attraction, you won't get her INTERESTED.

If she gives you her number, or email, or facebook, it doesn't mean she is interested in you. It either means friendzone or attraction (or she is just trying to get rid of you and stop you nagging; zero attraction.)

How to build attraction? Joking, teasing, being playful, push-pull, kino escalation.

When they all left and I’m still leaning against the wall I could tell that she didn’t care about me all that much

You need to go and talk to them, not wait for them to talk to you. You are the man, you have to make a move.

You should call her up sometime for a DATE. You need to either go out with her, or get rejected.

 

[Kevin Feng]

I used to get blown out of sets left and right when I first started pick up and quite frankly, that hasn't really changed, get used to rejection.

Even the best in the world get blown out of set and that includes Mystery and Matador.

Just consider this set, one more in your loss bag, honestly though, it doesn't sound you like really stepped up to the plate, if you had asked them out to coffee or at least gone for a phone number, that'd be different. It's been 2 semester you've been pining over these 2 girls, you can cold approach 20 in a night.

-Kevin

 

[Maxtro]

You didn't build any attraction. They weren't attracted to you.

Build attraction >> build comfort >> get number/kiss close

If you don't build attraction, you won't get her INTERESTED.

If she gives you her number, or email, or facebook, it doesn't mean she is interested in you. It either means friendzone or attraction (or she is just trying to get rid of you and stop you nagging; zero attraction.)

How to build attraction? Joking, teasing, being playful, push-pull, kino escalation.

I'm still trying to figure out how to build attraction. It's one thing to read about it, and something completely different to actually try it on a real girl. One thing I can say is that I do a lot more joking, teasing and kino then I did before. It's not enough but it still is progress considering that I used to never to those things.

You need to go and talk to them, not wait for them to talk to you. You are the man, you have to make a move.

You should call her up sometime for a DATE. You need to either go out with her, or get rejected.

I know. I was just hoping for some IOI's. Something that showed that they even thought of me, that it mattered that I existed. I guess I was asking for too much...

I used to get blown out of sets left and right when I first started pick up and quite frankly, that hasn't really changed, get used to rejection.

Even the best in the world get blown out of set and that includes Mystery and Matador.

Just consider this set, one more in your loss bag, honestly though, it doesn't sound you like really stepped up to the plate, if you had asked them out to coffee or at least gone for a phone number, that'd be different. It's been 2 semester you've been pining over these 2 girls, you can cold approach 20 in a night.

-Kevin

Unfortunately I don't give a damn about cold approaching. I don't want to be a player or a PUA. I just want to be a normal dude who can meet a girl at school, get to know her over a period a time. If a connection is felt, then be able to start dating her. Ideally I'd like to regularly talk to a girl for at least a couple of weeks in class before I start dating her. Can I even call that a set?

You're right that I didn't really step up to the plate and ask them out. I really don't want to risk a rejection and then the resulting awkwardness, when there is a 80% chance or higher that they will reject me. So I was trying to build interest check their levels and see what my chances are.

BTW I wasn't pining over them for two semesters. While I did know one of them for two semesters I didn't try to get her the first semester and during the second semester (which is January to May,) I was "dating" somebody until March. When that went south it took me two or three weeks to recover and I wasn't into any of them during that time. I didn't even know the second girls name until the beginning of April.

So getting back to an earlier point. I want nothing to do with cold approaches. Going to a university where there are 17,000 women I shouldn't have to cold approach ever. In each of my classes there are at least 5 cute girls that I could be interested in. I want to master the college pickup and unfortunately there isn't any real material on it.

 

[countermart]

Try this

Mate I think you are making too many assumptions. The reality is you don’t really know what these girls think of you until you set something up.

I’m certainly no great DJ, but I am getting better thanks to this site. I can tell you I am doing dance classes and yep it’s a bit AFC but hell it’s actually a lot of fun, and its very interesting how with some girls there is just instant chemistry and with others nothing. Chemistry, plus the Rumba is just sex with your pants on and you know when she is thinking the same thing!

Anyway it’s coming to the end of classes and my mate and I naturally wanted to keep contact with the two best girls in the class and so guess what, we asked them to go to dinner after the last class and it was yes, yes. That easy.

Give it a go. You already have something in common...dancing.

Countermart.

 

[epicwinner]

very good advices here, but personally I agree with points made by DonJuan11

Dude, YOU HAVE TO BOOST HER EGO, not the other way around. You have to make her feel good about herself, make her laugh, make her relaxed and have fun with you. You are still in your own world that people have to make you happy. How many times do we have to repeat this? - this is gold.

in my own experience, few years ago there was a girl that showed me high interest. But towards the end of semester, I was busy with exams so I didn't really pay attention to her.

we made a plan to have a drink after our final exam... but as soon as we finished our exam, she just quickly packed her bag and left!

I was thinking wtf? :nervous: did I not gauge her IL properly? but few minutes later outside, I saw her waiting for her ride... I just went to her and said; 'hey, lets celebrate! come have a drink with me' - her face brightened up and said 'sure!'

while we were having a few drinks and talking, I asked her why she left so quickly - her answer was simple, she thought I was acting cold and thought I wasn't interested in her (I was busy with studies, damn it! )

you just show them you're a fun guy and damn it, just approach them and enjoy yourself! they will like you