"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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In limbo

L

luber873

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Just need a little advice here.

New girl starts at work and I can tell by her flirty eyes she's interested. I let her dangle a while (months) but we finally start hanging out. First hangout is chatting at her place (opposite couches). Good conversation.

Went on a date a bit later and went back to her place after. We ended up with some light kissing and called it a night. We continue to hangout very frequently to the point I'm at her place 2-3 days in a row. Sex a couple of times. She's constantly texting/calling etc.

I bring up a relationship as I do like this girl and get the "I'm not ready." We have sex the next day and continue to hangout. So she's very hot and cold.

Later in the week I get the "I'm overwhelmed." I proceeded to get drunk and send a bunch of stupid texts and calls. I apologized in person which she accepted but she iterates she just wants to be friends after the stupid text bombing. I go NC for a week but then send a text saying we should talk. She responds a day later saying their isn't anything to talk about.

NC for another week and I get a text saying she's sorry for the way things turned out. We talk and I say we're just going to play it cool for awhile.

Now, I do like this girl, but I've been back and forth with girls in the past with good and bad results. She's got a ton of friends and is always super happy and outgoing so I don't 100% think it's loneliness. I know the response might be "she's fvcking another dude" but I really don't think that's the case either since we spent so much time together it wouldn't have been possible.

Just looking for some advice from others that have been down this path.
 

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Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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V

Vidrio

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She's fvcking another dude. Her interest started to get lukewarm because of the influence of the other guy and then you lowered it even further by asking her to be your gf. At that point your value lowered and her IL went along with it. When she sent the I'm overwhelmed text, your response completely destroyed any chance of her coming back. You should've went NC for a while and left her alone. It's too late now. Move on and spin plates.
 
T

TheException

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She's fvcking another dude. Her interest started to get lukewarm because of the influence of the other guy and then you lowered it even further by asking her to be your gf.

First off you dont know this pal. Guys always jump straight to this conclusion whenever attraction from a girl wanes, instead of promptly diagnosing it for what it is. Its always possible, and at the very least she probably has a couple guys interested in at the moment.

We continue to hangout very frequently to the point I'm at her place 2-3 days in a row.

First mistake. Its so easy to get caught up in the emotions of a new relationship/girl your having sex with. Your too available which lowers her attraction for you. You have to be doing stuff other than women in your life. To quote heartiste "Your mission not your women must be your priority".

I bring up a relationship as I do like this girl and get the "I'm not ready.

Never do this. Let the woman bring up the talks of being exclusive.

After her text saying shes overwhelmed thats code for give her space. Drunk texts are almost always stupid lol get me every time too. Girl needs NC if you have any shot. No texts, no calls, no nothing. If she ever asks where youve been you say "Been busy". NC either drives her back to you or gets you over her. Game chicks and add plates now.
 
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