In college with a girlfriend, losing interest

[Sofomore]

I am in college, 3rd year, losing interest in my girlfriend of a year in a half. I used to come by this forum when i was single to get advice and it usually helped.

Now, two years later, I have a girlfriend that I have loved very much but am starting to think about a) how we hang out all the time, b) how little I meet new people and c) how much I want to hook up with other women.

Of course, I feel invested in a great relationship but at the same time feel like I am closing so many doors. We used to have sex every day but I am losing my sex drive and it is only 2-3 times a week.

There are just so many complicated things that are holding me back from breaking up with her and every time I start pondering "maybe I should break up with her?", a bunch of reasons pop into my head of why I shouldn't.

Should I go explore my options while i still have a year left in college? Or tough it out?

 

[Ease]

Cheat braaaaaaah

 

[Ace_Magnamus]

I am in college, 3rd year, losing interest in my girlfriend of a year in a half. I used to come by this forum when i was single to get advice and it usually helped.

Now, two years later, I have a girlfriend that I have loved very much but am starting to think about a) how we hang out all the time, b) how little I meet new people and c) how much I want to hook up with other women.

Of course, I feel invested in a great relationship but at the same time feel like I am closing so many doors. We used to have sex every day but I am losing my sex drive and it is only 2-3 times a week.

There are just so many complicated things that are holding me back from breaking up with her and every time I start pondering "maybe I should break up with her?", a bunch of reasons pop into my head of why I shouldn't.

Should I go explore my options while i still have a year left in college? Or tough it out?

I figured Ease would say something crappy like that. He thinks cheating on a loyal girlfriend is the way to go. He is a loser.


Then that is why you shouldn't. Go with your gut. If you're lucky to have found someone you love that doesn't give you bunch of crap and someone that you see a long future with then you would be stupid to throw that away.

Why dump her and look for a bunch of hoes that could cheat on you and maybe you wouldnt be getting hardly any new girls at all. You might think you can but you might not. Then where would you be? No gf and you would of ruined a good thing with no poon at all.

Lots of guys feel that way. like they are missing out on something. they think the grass is greener but they find out they get a brown hillside when it turns out bad.

unless this chick starts behaving bad or loses interest in you then you would be stupid to get rid of her. Good girlfriends are hard to find these days and if you get one you better hang on to her and not wish for something you dont have.

I bet most guys who got dumped or cant get a gf in this forum would love to have a great gf. dont be dumb and lose something good. take some time away from her for a few days or a week then you would appreciate what you have.

dont dump because you think you might find better..you only dump when you found something better.

 

[mahoney]

Now, two years later, I have a girlfriend that I have loved very much but am starting to think about a) how we hang out all the time, b) how little I meet new people and c) how much I want to hook up with other women.

a) hang out less - make your time less in frequency and greater in quality

b) meet new people - both with her and without her - having a gf shouldn't stop you doing this. she should do the same

c) ah well, this one is a bit more difficult to solve

 

[Myrrdin]

Cheat and DENY DENY DENY

 

[PDubb75]

unless this chick starts behaving bad or loses interest in you then you would be stupid to get rid of her. Good girlfriends are hard to find these days and if you get one you better hang on to her and not wish for something you dont have.

I don't understand that. Just because she may like/love him like crazy is the only reason he needs to stay with her? He made this post saying he's losing interest. You don't stay with a girl you aren't 100% happy with just because she still likes you. If you don't have the same feelings for her, that is what matters. Don't stay with someone you aren't happy with.

There are just so many complicated things that are holding me back from breaking up with her and every time I start pondering "maybe I should break up with her?", a bunch of reasons pop into my head of why I shouldn't.

I was in a 6.5 year relationship that ended last November. About a year ago I had these exactly same thoughts as you. Although, by this point, our sex went from twice a day, to 2-3x/week, to 2-3x/month. Before our 6.5 year relationship, we were best friends for 4 years. That was 10 years of my life spent with her, including living with her at 2 separate times. Her family was like my family (and vice versa), 95% of our friends were mutual friends, and countless other reasons I had that held me back from ending it. But deep down, I knew all of these reasons were still not enough for me to "settle" when I wasn't completely happy anymore. It has now been about 6 months apart and I am much happier, even without a girlfriend now. Yeah, there are weird issues with some mutual friends, and still seeing her family around, but none of those issues proved to be bad enough to make the break-up not "worth it". It was hard as hell at first, but you get past it much quicker than you think.

Personally, my main regret is not being single throughout any of my college experience. You are still really young, so If you aren't completely happy, I don't see why you should feel the need to stay with her (aside from genuinely wanting to, of course).

My advice: Do what your gut tells you, despite the reasons that pop up. Generally, those "reasons" are brought on more by nerves and fear than anything else.

 

[Tiguere]

Ace is one of many girls here hidden under an alias.

 

[Sir Psycho Sexy]

i pm you so we could discuss

 

[Sofomore]

Thanks for the responses so far. To Ace: I am not considering dumping her to get better, its more to just be SINGLE. I dont want to be in a relationship any more but I guess I don't have the balls to cut the chord.

 

[Ace_Magnamus]

Thanks for the responses so far. To Ace: I am not considering dumping her to get better, its more to just be SINGLE. I dont want to be in a relationship any more but I guess I don't have the balls to cut the chord.

I misunderstood your post then. You made it sound like you had some interest lost but something in you still wanted to be with her. You seemed like you were confused about breaking up and I tried to show you that sometimes you still wish you had something that you let go when you find out what you get isnt all that great. Wish the posters would make it more clear in the OP. All I'm saying is you know what you got with her and you may get worse with someone else. Who knows if you can get hook ups?

In any case if you want to get rid of her for whatever reason you should do it ASAP. The more you wait the harder it will be for you to cut the chord. You will put it off every day then you will be more confused.

Just tell her you need to live your life and you need to focus on school and your goals and being in a relationship is hard for you to accomplish that right now. Doing that is putting a strain on our relationship and it just wont work out if we continue because it will get worse. I need to be on my own.

She should get the hint about that. The longer you wait the harder it will be. Don't let her guilt trip you into caving in. Get to the point and be done with it. Its what you want and you should do what makes you happy by putting yourself first. I would do it tomorrow if I was you. Don't keep putting it off. Get rid of her ASAP so you can be you and do what you want. You dont need her holding your ambitions back and standing in your way

Good luck!

Ace is one of many girls here hidden under an alias.

haha this guy is a friggin dumbass. just because I dont believe in cheating on a loyal gf he comes up with crap like this. too bad you cant get any chicks off the net bro. keep trying tho. I should add this quote to my profile.