In Action

[worldlearning]

well ive been readin up on this site for a few months now, and ive been working on self improvement as well as relationships. Well, have ne of u guys had a problem like i do. Everything on this site is great advice and shows you exactly what to do, but when i actually get into situations where i have to think on my toes, the clever and smart ideas that this site offers never come up...So any advice for a guy like me? also, what was your breaking point into don juanism, was it some specific event, or was it just the accumulation of knowledge?

 

[E-Z Rider]

'Thinking on your feet' is probably the hardest thing to master. The only thing I can tell you is to practice. Let me present an example/allegory:

You know that show "Who's line is it anyways"? That show is all about thinking on your feet; improvisation. It's an art; those guys are gifted, but I guarantee you none of them were born with the kind of ability you see on the show. They practice like mofos at it; it's their job. They run through different possibilities in their heads, rehearsing all the possible different scenarios and how the skits could end up. They practice so much the responses and ideas come automatically. Also, they are so used to being in front of audiences that they don't feel pressure and are relaxed, which makes them more capable of coming up with spontaneous ideas.

How this applies to you is, you have to mentally rehearse conversations with girls. You have to do this a LOT. Think about all the things she could say, and what good responses to them would be. Write them out, and rehearse them everyday. Do them so much that you automatically know what to say, without having to really think about it.

The other element is, once you are prepared, go out and use the things you've rehearsed. You won't fare so great at first probably, but by repeatedly putting yourself in pressure situations you will be accustomed to it and won't feel nervous anymore. Then you are freer to think on your feet.

You have to work at this like you'd work at anything else you want to be good at. It takes a commitment, but I'm sure you'd agree that it's worth it. Before you know it, you'll be dazzling all the HB's with your quick wit and charm.

Good luck- -E-Z

 

[Smooth as Anything]

It's called experince bro, just continue what your doing and everything will come in time.

 

[aznbreakerjrey]

Hey man, I know how you feel, and probably every "trained" DJ has gone through something like that.

Hey, I've gone through TWO training stages... one was the first few weeks of DJ Boot Camp and then I gave up when I couldn't find the courage to close girls. This was about March of '02. I basically gave up on girls and my self confidence went down like crazy, and this hiatus went along for several months.

Then sometime near the end of '02 or the beginning of '03 I started browsing the site again. I read some motivational posts from the Bible and the ones that moved me the most were the ones that focused on the real meaning behind this site: becoming the best you can possibly be, every day of your life, in all aspects of life that you wish. I took up some good hobbies, I am trying presently to improve in several aspects of my life, and this has been the best I've been in quite a while. This time around I'm not going let setbacks bring me too much down...

As for thinking on your toes, I suggest you start thinking of funny stuff while you're with your friends. Just learn to say some funny comments once in a while, etc. Another thing that has helped me A LOT, and I mean A LOT (!!!) are self-affirmations. I recorded myself saying things like, "I am the man. I can easily approach girls. I am the man. I can easily converse with all people. I am the man. I am outgoing. I am the man. I am outgoing." etc. Dayum, all i have to say is that it works.

My breaking point was just getting sick of having that feeling of not having a girl and not doing a damn thing about it. I was getting so pissed off at myself about it that I just decided to start trying again. So far I've been having minimal success but as the number approaches increase, so will the successes. Remember dude, it's all a numbers game.

 

[worldlearning]

yo

thanks for the advice guys, nebody else have ne inspirational stories they'd like to share?

 

[sonick182]

Yeah, I find myself doin that too... I just gotta practice... Like when i walk down the mall, i see a hot girl, i make eye contact for like 1/4 of a second, and insticntively look away... i dont wanna look away, but its just an involountary reaction... So i gotta practice on that.

and then i gotta work on approaches.. though i know the techniques, i havent had many chances put them into practice... Once i get some time, im so gonna work on getting my fear out of the way, get rejected a couple times so im used to it, then ill be set...

But yeah, i really think its just practicing, getting to know how everything works, etc

 

[SnatchJP]

Along similar lines as E-Z rider's, you know about that "Who's line is it anyway?" show? It's based on Improv.

...So try doing some improv. sometime if you get the chance! It's a whole lot of fun and you learn tons of valuble skills (including thinking on your feet, getting people to laugh, and losing stage fright.)

Ask around at school, there might be an ensemble. If not, look around for community theater things. Good luck!