I'm the Man (...finally)

[Dark Haired Alpha]

Hey guys,

I'm going to write about my very first approach. I started to study seduction 2 years ago, but never did a single approach - just because I was SOOO SCARED (hey I was shy as hell and didn't even think it's possible to talk to a stranger when I started so shut up about this).

During those two years, I changed my AFC personality to very, very, very attractive one, but I realized that if I really do want to change my life (not "just" myself), I gotta do it. I knew I was never going to approach just to approach (for practicing), because that's just not who I am (this is not an excuse, trust me - I know how an excuse looks like, I've made thousands of them). I'm only going to approach if I am interested.

I approached a girl who was actually a reason to join this site, but I never got to know her. I have been meeting her on the street every Tuesday though. I knew I was going to meet her again today. She was there with two female friends.

I needed to have a beer before the action, but anyways.... The convo looked like this (translated, so not exactly):

Me: Hi, may I talk to you for a sec?
Her: Me?
Me: Yeah.
Me: I am D.H.A. and you?
Her: I'm an HB, hi.
Me: I don't have much time right now, but would you like to go for a coffee and a little chat sometimes?
Her: Why not.
Me: OK, so give me your cell phone # and I'll call you.
Her: 123 456 789
Me: Thanks, bye
Her: Bye

Fvck it was easy, what the hell did I fear? I don't care I sounded so nervous, I don't care I sweated so much, I don't care I blushed like hell, I don't care the number might be fake. Everyone who remembers his first approach knows what's the most important thing.

Well I do care but not as much as I feel like a man

P.S.: For those who still hesitate, trust David DeAngelo saying humans are incredibly bad in forecasting a pain evoked by a certain situation. This was easy.

 

[librito]

congratulations man, like mistery would say
"you slayed the dragon" did you realized it was not as big and strong as you believed it was?
I know how you feel man, this is one of the best experiences youll ever have in your life. you finally became a man because you fought your fears and won.
now you know how to do it and can do it anytime with any chick.
that was your first step to reach DonJuanville.

 

[Desdinova]

Good job, keep it up! After the first few approaches, the nervousness goes away.

 

[Tomatoes]

Well...its always said the hardest bit about a first approach is getting out there and DOING IT.

Keep us posted on your progress.....More approaches...plus updates on this HB.

If you need any advice you know where to ask. Keep this post active!!!

 

[Dark Haired Alpha]

Keep us posted on your progress.....More approaches...plus updates on this HB.

You bet I will! I'm going to call her on Friday in order to set up a date on Monday right after school (or maybe a little later?). Wondering where to take her... was thinking about just a walk... anyone?

 

[bbestar]

Im so weak.

 

[AudiTy]

I realised that a lot of peoples problems (including mine) are created by reading, studying and thinking about the subject of attraction/dating/relationships TOO MUCH!

There are huge consequences to learning the theory without the practical. Firstly, because your mind had all this knowledge bouncing around your head from reading so much, your mental ability far outweighs your actual ability. This imbalance creates the problem that you can't act as you wish to, which in turn can lead all sorts of issues.

This happened to me exactly the same in music production. I learned tons of theory, read about Synth programming and studied other aspects of production, but because I hadn't been practicing as I went along, when I would go to actually produce I'd have all these great ideas of how I wanted the song to sound, but I had little idea how to translate it into musical form. Even though I'd studied hard, I was missing the most important skill of all, the skill to use what I had learned.

Why bother learning about the subject if you don't take part in the experiments. Why learn how to become a MAN, when you never get to display your masculinity.


- AudiTy =o

 

[Dark Haired Alpha]

I realised that a lot of peoples problems (including mine) are created by reading, studying and thinking about the subject of attraction/dating/relationships TOO MUCH!

There are huge consequences to learning the theory without the practical. Firstly, because your mind had all this knowledge bouncing around your head from reading so much, your mental ability far outweighs your actual ability. This imbalance creates the problem that you can't act as you wish to, which in turn can lead all sorts of issues.

This happened to me exactly the same in music production. I learned tons of theory, read about Synth programming and studied other aspects of production, but because I hadn't been practicing as I went along, when I would go to actually produce I'd have all these great ideas of how I wanted the song to sound, but I had little idea how to translate it into musical form. Even though I'd studied hard, I was missing the most important skill of all, the skill to use what I had learned.

Why bother learning about the subject if you don't take part in the experiments. Why learn how to become a MAN, when you never get to display your masculinity.

But learning social skills is different than learning to create music. Almost anyone has a lot of social interactions daily, while almost noone actually creates music. Sure, approaching is a little different thing, but still...

 

[Dark Haired Alpha]

to a coffee bar

I guess I should pay for her?

anyone?

 

[librito]

pay for the damn coffee, its no big deal.
the cost of a cup of coffee is insignificant and its not
important enought for her to start looking at you as a S u c k er.
plus youll gain a bunch of experience from this.
just dont try to impress her in any way cause thats when youll mess it up.
talk to her and tease her like you do with your best friend.
just make her luagh her as$ off. that will be the signal that will tell you if you are doing it right.

 

[KarmaSutra]

Congrats brother. Your other ball dropped. It's a great day.

Pay for the coffee. It's insignificant but shows a tad of initiative.

 

[Dark Haired Alpha]

Another question that came to my mind is: What the hell am I supposed to talk about with someone I don't know at all?

 

[resilient]

Nice work. I'm going out this weekend to get 20 rejections with the approach you used similiarly but scripted a little differently! Can't wait to have that same feeling and the fear gone and over with! The fear doesn't sound so bad, and what's the worse that could happen? Ringbearer or b/f shows up? Or she drops the b/f line. I've been called out by a girl's macho older fiance at a bar infront of my friends, so approaching sounds easy :woo:

As for your last question... good point. Maybe you can ask where she lives so you can get coffee close by to her place. Or remind her first where the two of you met the other night. Make sure you keep the convo under 10 mins though if your setting up the first date. Look up Senor Fingers thread on phone game. He's got some hilarious examples that will get her laughing the first minute of the call. Keep your attitude upbeat and you'll do fine.

 

[Freewheelin Frank]

Almost anyone has a lot of social interactions daily

I don't, which is part of my problem..

 

[Dark Haired Alpha]

fvck it, she doesn't answer the phone

 

[Dark Haired Alpha]

DAMN I dont actually feel like a man, I feel like an mawkish pvssy who has been feeling down for days because of one girl.

I know this is going to sound weird because I don't even know her, its hard to explain, but I think I have lost so much because I didn't train the approaches on other girls - I think this girl is one of the few that would be able to make me feel "the way I want". Do you guys think I should try to talk to her next time I meet her or just next her to not make fool of myself. I think theres nothing to loose but still...

My plan is to go to another town tommorow and make 10 approaches to get rid of my nervousity and try it again with this girl and if the outcome wont be any good, at least I will have the skill of feelings free approaching.

 

[Tomatoes]

DAMN I dont actually feel like a man, I feel like an mawkish pvssy who has been feeling down for days because of one girl.

I know this is going to sound weird because I don't even know her, its hard to explain, but I think I have lost so much because I didn't train the approaches on other girls - I think this girl is one of the few that would be able to make me feel "the way I want". Do you guys think I should try to talk to her next time I meet her or just next her to not make fool of myself. I think theres nothing to loose but still...

My plan is to go to another town tommorow and make 10 approaches to get rid of my nervousity and try it again with this girl and if the outcome wont be any good, at least I will have the skill of feelings free approaching.

**slap slap slap** Be the man dude!

If you wanna go and try and catch this girl again....go for it. But keep up on the 10 approaches. Just because you get a number close....it doesnt mean you can hear wedding bells. Dont see anything as a failure but as an experiance.

Dont throw all your eggs in one basket. If you do 10 approaches a day. I bet you have a date by next weekend with ease. Give it a try....

 

[Dark Haired Alpha]

**slap slap slap** Be the man dude!

If you wanna go and try and catch this girl again....go for it. But keep up on the 10 approaches. Just because you get a number close....it doesnt mean you can hear wedding bells. Dont see anything as a failure but as an experiance.

Dont throw all your eggs in one basket. If you do 10 approaches a day. I bet you have a date by next weekend with ease. Give it a try....

Damn, you wouldn't believe how powerful your posts can be, seriously