"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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I'm struggling a bit. Need advice how to dig myself out of a hole.

CaptFinnBad

CaptFinnBad

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String of bad luck last few months things out of my control and some of it in my control.

Without going into great detail in the ways I've taken multiple hits from different angles I want to focus on digging myself out of this.

Realistically there is nothing catastrophic that's happened, worlds still turning and there are practical and solutions to every single problem I'm facing.

What the problem is my mindset, prolonged stress and a sting of bad luck and unfortunate events has effected it a bit.


Advise? I need to clear my mind, get a bit of inner peace, switch off the noise .
 
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"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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R

RickPound

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Do you remember something that has possibly worked in the past? Sometimes when you’re stuck in a rut you have to shake things up. Change the routine.

Last year for me it was going on a solo trip to another country for 2+ weeks. Just getting more in the present moment, meeting new people (and women), new scenery, etc - switching up the program - had a huge positive effect on my mindset and mood.

If you can’t travel, switch out some of your routine with new things.
 
BMX

BMX

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Enjoy the journey, not just your results.
 
hellonwheels

hellonwheels

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Do something outdoors and leave your phone behind. One of the best things I ever did in my life was completely unplug on a 17 day backpacking trip. There was basically zero cell service the entire trek.
 
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