"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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I'm scared of rejection.. yet.. I'm not.. why all the stupid lines?

MrNiceGuy

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Ok, this is wierd,

For me its very hard to actually go up to a girl and make a proper effor t to chat her up, the best line in the world ("Hi whats your name") seems to be the hardest for me to execute at the moment, even though I know both from experience and others telling me it has a better chance of success.

However, I've realised when it comes to being an ass and coming out with stupid crap that isn't gonna work on anyone except maybe a really really drunk college girl I don't care at all.. for example, last friday me and some pals are in a bar, its getting to the end of the evening and I spot a girl thats pretty cute, I notice she has a stripy top on, I realise I'm wearing pants (I mean underwear for you americans) with the same design on (grey with thin blue stripes if you must know) as she walks past I call her over.. "hey, hey, excuse me!" She stops to see what I have to say, "Have you noticed your tops's got the same design as my pants?" and I lower the top of my trousers to show her, she looks at me with a complete "what a d*ck" look (she's right), and walks off.. I knew before I even started that she'd shoot me down straght away but I didn't care cos I knew we'd get a laugh..

So what gives, there's plenty of other examples like that too.... Basically I reckon I'm getting hammered, being an ass and trying to show off to my mates by trying these stupid lines and us all having a laugh, I suppose I'm trying these things cos even tho I'll get shot down it seems funny when you're drunk and I know that its my stupid line (and the assumption from that that she makes about me) the girl is rejecting not the way I look or anything else about me. Whereas trying a sensible approach that might actually work isn't entertaining if you get rejected and the rejection seems more personal since you've not said anything stupid. Plus saying something normal exposes you as being interested, whereas saying something stupid means you may not care about her at all, it doesn't leave her the satisfaction of thinking "wow that guy really liked me and I knocked him back, I'm so great and desirable, only the best for me."

There we go, by posting I've answered my own question, and realised what's going on, I don't feel like I get anything out of a sensible approach if it goes wrong, in fact what I get is negative emotions, whereas with the stupid lines I'm in a win win situation although the result I really want is very unlikely. What I need to do I guess is convince my brain that getting rejected "normally" isn't the end of the world and take somthing positive from it, this I can do, I can take a sense of achievement and conquering fears, but its alot harder to convince myself about beforehand.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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MrNiceGuy

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I guess so, ensure a small rejection now so I'm not exposed to a more painful one later on... I know my brain is trying to protect me but its not doing me any good in the long run... bah..
 
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