I'm losing out on average looking girls...it's killing my confidence

[Poop1337]

Overconfidence is the key to a healthy alpha state. You need to seperate results from your mindset. When I get that hot girl enjoying my attention I'm not even thinking about the statistically much higher number of girls who wanted nothing to do with me.

 

[The_411]

The basic issue is that a) you are concerned with rejection b) by your own criteria this wasn't anything special c) you are trying to compare yourself with some other guy.

We all get rejected. However how men respond to that rejection determines their appeal and viability. Yes getting rejected isn't fun, but you can't learn/grow without getting rejected.

The real question is why you care so much that this girl rejected you? Is it because you thought it should be automatic because you thought she was lower in value than you or lower value then the women you think you are worth?

First tip ... don't pursue women who you feel have lower value than you.

Having standards is a good thing. It implies that you are choosy and that not just anyone has access to you. Social proof doesn't work well if you are hooking up with a girl with whom you'd feel embarrassed to be seen with in public.

Second tip try to internalize that a woman rejecting you is merely her missing out on a great opportunity. Sure, it sounds corny, but until you can get to a point where being rejected is nearly same feeling as chewing gum, walking etc. you'll project outcome dependency through your body language and woman can pick up on this quite easily.

 

[hudpes]

Your ego can be your best friend or your worst enemy. Mostly the latter though. This exact thing, when you feel dumbfounded when a girl you are crushing on picks a fat ugly moron over you - your ego deduces that you must be a worse choice than a fat ugly moron. And you say, but I'm not. So there is this flabbergasting conundrum that makes you want to smash things. You have to try to learn to let go. You don't know what really happened, you need to focus on yourself, understand that opportunities come and go, and one opportunity went down the drain so off to the next one. Also, desperation and neediness stink miles far and all women have a nose.