If she's taken, do I let her know to get back to me?

[Siragoos]

I'm still very much a beginner; I'm getting better but still learning this. Was hanging out with a girl, we were having a good time, then she started telling me about her boyfriend (who had to be real....she was talking about how he was in his business, how he flew in to see her recently, etc....too many details). Unfortunately, being a beginner and being thrown off by the fact she had a boyfriend, it threw off my escalation. Still had fun, though.

Now she's texting me constantly to hang out. I'd prefer to learn from single women for now; I'm not experienced enough to deal with this boyfriend stuff and not let it hinder me. Do I tell her to hit me up when she breaks up? Or just keep in light contact with her, don't acknowledge the boyfriend, so that when they do break up, I have an "in"?

 

[HyperAnalyze]

Next date you make sure you try to hit the home run. Escalate, escalate, escalate.

 

[adam225]

Don't fvck with a girl that belongs to someone else. It causes too much pain. Be straight up with her and tell her what she is doing is WRONG. If she wants to leave him and get with you this should be her call TOTALLY (it shouldn't be influenced by you what so ever). But bare in mind - you're a beginner, and if she's done it to HIM; she'll most likely do it to YOU as well. It's only a matter of time....

 

[Siragoos]

Be straight up with her and tell her what she is doing is WRONG.

how do I do that/what do I say?

 

[Siragoos]

Next date you make sure you try to hit the home run. Escalate, escalate, escalate.

I don't know if I'll be able to at this point. That boyfriend thing is going to lurk in the back of my mind. I'm not that accomplished yet.

 

[adam225]

how do I do that/what do I say?

I'd say - "Sorry, but it isn't right doing this behind your boyfriends back. It's not fair on him". Just be honest and pretend YOU were in his shoes.

 

[LandingWood]

If you say anything you might end up looking stupid. She. Might pull the whole but we're just friends things when you try to "confront" her. Ride it out and escalate. If you duck then let her know you can't be more than fwb cause she has a boyfriend and maybe you could be something more if she was single. But only maybe because she has to show she's loyal.

She's not loyal though so string her along for ***** if it's good. If you're really demented, get her to break up with him then go ghost.

 

[Siragoos]

I'd say - "Sorry, but it isn't right doing this behind your boyfriends back. It's not fair on him". Just be honest and pretend YOU were in his shoes.

Okay, and this won't sound weird if she just thought we were just "hanging out" as friends? (even though this was never stated and I worked in some kino, etc.)

 

[Siragoos]

If you duck then let her know you can't be more than fwb cause she has a boyfriend and maybe you could be something more if she was single.

And how do I say this?

I want to ride it out and escalate, I just don't feel very confident in my abilities to do so just yet. It's so much easier for me to work on single girls because psychologically it's easier right now.

 

[adam225]

Okay, and this won't sound weird if she just thought we were just "hanging out" as friends? (even though this was never stated and I worked in some kino, etc.)

No, not if you be totally honest about the whole situation.

 

[SemperDJ]

OP, there's only 3 possible outcomes you're really faced with here and the results will all fall under your personal moral as a being itself
1. Continue to talk to her and go for home run like Hyper mentioned, or
2. Listen to Adam and don't be that middleman in which I think OP's intuition is clearly stated due to lack of experience
3. Stay connected, continue talking and just go with the flow

For me, I personally wouldn't give a **** cause that's just how I roll. Funny story is as long as he doesn't know then it's all fun and games
but once the other party finds out they tend to try to shoot you.

Side Note: Don't be honest, she can always pull out the friend card and make you look like a complete fool.

 

[LandingWood]

And how do I say this?

I want to ride it out and escalate, I just don't feel very confident in my abilities to do so just yet. It's so much easier for me to work on single girls because psychologically it's easier right now.

Those exact words. Make her feel like a Slut but also that she has a chance with you. You're helping out her bf. Op I think you understand that she can say we're just friends as s defense mechanism. So you have to escalate before you make any accusations.

ESCALATE FIRST

 

[Siragoos]

Those exact words. Make her feel like a Slut but also that she has a chance with you. You're helping out her bf. Op I think you understand that she can say we're just friends as s defense mechanism. So you have to escalate before you make any accusations.

So are you telling me to escalate first before texting those words or it's all right if I just go ahead and text those words next time she wants to hang out?