"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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I was about to post a cry for help, but...

Serg897

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...I realized this has been addressed before, by me, on this very forum in the past.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=182504

Exactly the same situation, with exactly the same result as before. Only this time I was seeing her for longer, about a year and half. Not exclusive for that entire time, but definitely towards the end. I always had my hesitations and when it came down to make a choice I chose single life once again.

It sucks. I know she is hurting badly. I am hurting as well. But I simply could not give her what she wanted. I know that to give her that would mean settling down, probably for a long time as she is and always has been loyal, dependable, trustworthy. I just couldn't do it.

In that back of mind though I always wonder. Will I ever find that one girl I am so excited about that I actually want to get into a monogamous relationship with no reservations? Or will I always be searching like this and never satisfied? Who knows.
 
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"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Greasy Pig

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Great call, Bradd. It's true, when you're slaying pvssy and being the man, the last thing on your mind is settling down.
I've rejected countless women because of this.

But now, as I age and realise how fickle most younger women are, I find I'm looking at plates differently, as in looking at them as long-term prospects.
Bradd is right, the pool tends to shrink as you age (although I got blown by a 24yo size 8 Jamaican chick in a nightclub last weekend :D) but that doesn't mean you have to settle.
Hang in there, keep screening and you'll eventually find one you'll actually WANT to hang around for a while.

My criteria was always that if I found a girl I preferred to spend time with than getting drunk with my friends and banging slores, then she obviously ticks a lot of boxes and would be worth pursuing.
I'm at that stage now. I'm still spinning plates but I've recently met a girl who I've realised I've been looking forward to seeing more than I look forward to going out and tomcatting.
Hang in there, OP. Keep applying what you learn here, be the best man you can possibly be and the quality women will keep bobbing up (and hopefully bobbing down too).
 

Serg897

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This doesnt really feel good at all, but now that I've had about 48 hours to think about it...I know with almost cetainty that its the right choice. Im just a tad lonelier than usual - she was around pretty often, sleeping in my bed, etc. I dont have another girl to replace her at the moment. Not that she is replaceable in anything but a loose sense. She was unique, just like every person is unique. But Im not sure she was the one for me.
 

Boilermaker

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one-itis ...

the dreaded, seriously underrated bug of our minds ..

It will only pass with time, and emotions are part of your life, too.
 

Scaramouche

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Dear Serg,
"I don't have another girl to replace her at the moment".....This really makes you vulnerable to coercion....Always have a few Plates in the Wings,even if you aren't Porking them!
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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