I think she's coming around, or am I being optimistic?

[inscape]

This girl I like, Sam is my friend. We've been friends for over 2 years and she's told me she doesn't want a bf. Last month I had a gf, a girl she knows and she knows we had sex. After we broke up I've been flirting with Sam again, but in a different way. I make fun of her now too, I'm not the "nice guy" that use to do everything to try and make her happy.


Before when I'd try to kino her she'd move away, but now she doesn't. She also uses some inuendo now unlike before. She's 1 of 3 virgins at work (we work together, someone at work pointed out who the virgins are) and I told her we can change that. She told a couple people she could take me up on my offer to change that, jokingly I assume, but still a long way from how she used to be.


Should I continue being a bit aggressive, or should I hold back so i'm not too easy, but a challenge like girls supposedly want?

 

[inscape]

Well, I got off at 7 and went by her place. I got there right when she did, she didn't wait for me she just went and got mail and continued going to her apartment. I asked her to the movies, she said she was tired and going to bed. She asked what I was doing and I was trying to be ****y and said going in your apartment and she said no. After reading another post about delusion I now know she hs no interest in me. Like that post said I kept making excuses as to why she does what she does.

 

[516]

Hold up, lemme get this straight. You were stalking her? And then she saw you and you started talking to her?

 

[inscape]

Originally posted by 516
Hold up, lemme get this straight. You were stalking her? And then she saw you and you started talking to her?

No, I was going over to see if she wanted to watch Walking Tall. Her car wasn't there so I left and saw her as she was driving home, so I turned around and then talked to her.

 

[ManOMan]

Stalker??? BIG TIME!

dude, 2 years of friendship = friendzone

her flirting with you was just an ego feed to see if you were attracted to her (most women feel the need to be attractive to EVERY guy they meet)

but all is not lost, Ive heard of girls shacking up with guys they have known for a while (but its more out of a lack of choice in mates or being in the right place/right time)

you werent being ****y when you said "we can change that", you were being too sexually aggressive (i.e. your only Motive was to get laid)

ESPECIALLy TO A VIRGIN!!!!!

 

[inscape]

Live and learn I guess. Thanks for the feedback.

 

[ManOMan]

keep workin on her, lay low a little, you need to save a little face from being so sexually aggressive to a virgin

keep us posted tho, Im curious how this turns out

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

You scared her - Tell her that you were just kidding and apoligize to her if she seemed offended.

 

[inscape]

I didn't scare her, I guess I need to give more info for you guys to understand us. There's 3 of us that hang out together most of the time. Sam, Jorden (guy, has a gf) and me. We've gone out a lot together. We used to go over her apartment and stay there talking til 6am every other week or so when we had time off together. We've always joked with eachother, mostly me saying the more dirty jokes (not to just her though, in general to everyone)


Tonight Jorden told me that Sam told him about me going over her place. He asked her why she makes excuses and she told him it would be weird with just me going and that it would be funner if Jorden goes. He also told me he got interent again and he wrote her an e-mail saying he was bored. She then e-mailed him back a lot of stuff. In the past i've tried e-mailing her but she'd never reply, saying she either sees me at work or she doesn't check it.

This is more than me trying to hook up with her, i'm not sure if I even want to be friends with her. If you say it was my fault for being too pushy or whatever, you're probably correct. I've confronted her and told her my feelings and she doesn't say anything back which was a mistake because I should have beenable to figure out her IL.


Today I saw her at work for a little while and didn't say anything to her. She asked me a question about something, I answered and that was that. I'm not sure what I should do from this point on., i'll probably just not talk to her much and not ask her to do anything with me.

 

[ManOMan]

PRL?? Im SHOCKED!!

Apologize to a girl? for WHAT? Being a man and having sexual urges? or making sexually explicit remarks that she played along with??

if anything, to keep things at the workplace comfortable with one another.

Inscape, just be cool, all this will fizzle over and everything will be back to normal. Just keep acting alooof and not interested, do a 180.

She will then start to flirt with you again, just ignore it. I think you were in the LJBF zone, and you pushed the envelope too far where she is rethinking "wow is he a friend or a lover?"

But either sense, just lay off the flirtatiousness for a while (push/pull technique) and see if she chases you.

if she does, give her sporadic attention. If she doesnt, Oh well! u tried!

 

[inscape]

Originally posted by ManOMan
PRL?? Im SHOCKED!!

Apologize to a girl? for WHAT? Being a man and having sexual urges? or making sexually explicit remarks that she played along with??

if anything, to keep things at the workplace comfortable with one another.

Inscape, just be cool, all this will fizzle over and everything will be back to normal. Just keep acting alooof and not interested, do a 180.

She will then start to flirt with you again, just ignore it. I think you were in the LJBF zone, and you pushed the envelope too far where she is rethinking "wow is he a friend or a lover?"

But either sense, just lay off the flirtatiousness for a while (push/pull technique) and see if she chases you.

if she does, give her sporadic attention. If she doesnt, Oh well! u tried!

Thanks for the good advice man

 

[inscape]

Just an update. I worked with her the past couple of days and didn't flirt with her. Today she kept asking me how I was doing, I kept saying fine then she said "I know that, but you're not being outgoing" I was thinking wtf. So I told her being outgoing with her was a waste, then continued working. Maybe she realizes now i'm not going to be the one to make her feel good about herself and let her blow me off like in the past. Maybe I shouldn't have answered her, but either way she talked to me after she was quite for a few mins. She said she wanted a pop, another girl said to ask me to get her one on my break from the store. Before I would offer to go get her what she wanted, but I didn't tonight.

My ex also works where I work. Her bf before me has a baby with her, he was an ******* so she left him for me. Two weeks later she broke up with me, then the following week she told me she didn't want to be with him. Being the AFC I was (and still kind of am now) I said we should get back together. She told me she wanted both of us and I was like wtf, I gave her a day to decide then I told her she should stay with her bf (this happened about a week ago). She trys to flirt with me still, but I ignore it and today she brought in a couple of candles (i mentioned i liked them) and asked if I wanted them and I told her no.