I think I screwed up, need advice

[TheEdgeOf]

Alright, here's the deal, there's this girl (as always). I met her about 6 months ago (we had a 20 minute argument about how she's aloser and how she'll never ammout to anything.) After that, we hadn't really talked much, until about a month ago. For some reason, I think she came up in a conversation with a friend, I added her on msn. We started talking a bit at first, then progressively more as time went on (I usually started the conversations, which I knew I shouldn't really be doing) to the point where we talked almost every day. We started hanging out in school about 2 weeks ago. I pretty sure I've been giving her too much attention and now I'm getting the vibe that she's starting to get annoyed with me (she's reall not putting much into our conversations and she's not as happy to see me as she usually used to be). So what I'm going to is lay low for a while; sto talking to her on msn unless she starts the conversation, stop talking to her when we're hanging out with friends unless she starts talking first and just generally giving her less attention than before.

Thoughts, opinions?

 

[619joe]

Yah man lay low.

Dont worry about the starting conversations thing.Even if the girl is interested,most dont start up the convos they let the guys do the work.But that doesnt mean that you should always which you have realized.

Make it seem as if her ignoring you doesnt affect you at all and that your doing fine with other women.

 

[ZenGodMod]

Alright, here's the deal, there's this girl (as always). I met her about 6 months ago (we had a 20 minute argument about how she's aloser and how she'll never ammout to anything.) After that, we hadn't really talked much, until about a month ago. For some reason, I think she came up in a conversation with a friend, I added her on msn. We started talking a bit at first, then progressively more as time went on (I usually started the conversations, which I knew I shouldn't really be doing) to the point where we talked almost every day. We started hanging out in school about 2 weeks ago. I pretty sure I've been giving her too much attention and now I'm getting the vibe that she's starting to get annoyed with me (she's reall not putting much into our conversations and she's not as happy to see me as she usually used to be). So what I'm going to is lay low for a while; sto talking to her on msn unless she starts the conversation, stop talking to her when we're hanging out with friends unless she starts talking first and just generally giving her less attention than before.

Thoughts, opinions?

While reading your post i see that you know what you've done wrong. You did it because the candy was too sweet to let go, and addiction became you. You couldn't get enough. That was the worst thing you can do and the damage is done. What you want is to undo the damage? Do you really think you can? You can't.... but she can.

Look, if there is any qualities of you that she does like, something special to her, then she will want it back. Leave her for now, let her undo the damage you have done. When she calls back, return to her, but don't get into addiction again. Show her you can kick the addiction that got rid of her in the first place.

However if there is nothing of you she likes, and it was only out of pity that she talked to you at all. She's gone, and you'll have to move on.

 

[TheEdgeOf]

While reading your post i see that you know what you've done wrong. You did it because the candy was too sweet to let go, and addiction became you. You couldn't get enough. That was the worst thing you can do and the damage is done. What you want is to undo the damage? Do you really think you can? You can't.... but she can.

Look, if there is any qualities of you that she does like, something special to her, then she will want it back. Leave her for now, let her undo the damage you have done. When she calls back, return to her, but don't get into addiction again. Show her you can kick the addiction that got rid of her in the first place.

However if there is nothing of you she likes, and it was only out of pity that she talked to you at all. She's gone, and you'll have to move on.

Alright, ZenGodMod, I'm going to have to disagree with you there. The damage hasn't been done yet, but the last 3-5 days, I've noticed that she's starting to draw back, basically the early signs that I've been giving too much attention, so I'm want to stop this before it get's out of hand and the damage is irreparable.

Not to be too presumptuous, but from my personal experience with people, I'd say that what you're applying to my situation has just recently happened to you, maybe it's even the reason you came looking for something and stubled upon this site, apparently you joined less than a month ago. Now I could be wrong, but wtv, I don't really care. I doubt our paths will cross again anyway.

But back to my situation, now I'm pretty sure, I've been giving her too much attention, I need to lay back and starve her a bit. Until she comes looking for it again. I just wanted to check with you guys on the forum, and thanks to 916joe for clarifying.

 

[Andromax]

I need to lay back and starve her a bit. Until she comes looking for it again. I just wanted to check with you guys on the forum

It is true.

Her interest is falling.

If it has fallen too far, this little "game" of no contact or limiting your contact wont work.

You can't rely on this. You must pursue other women. You must have other priorities before all these women.

You must not pursue women with little to no IL.

My advise? Learn from your mistake, but don't count on her coming around.

For one, why would you want to be in a situation where you are constantly thinking about how to win one particular woman over, playing little games?

Granted they tend to work, but they are a crutch and if you can't back it up well then..

she's reall not putting much into our conversations and she's not as happy to see me as she usually used to be

Okay addressing this.

We prefer to avoid women that act this way.

She is not your girl friend correct?

You haven't invested anything into a relationship with her.

So why are you stressing? Who cares about her? Why should you?

She doesn't give you affection, she doesn't do anything to warrant your attention, yet you still want her?

To be successful with women you gotta change the way you think.

Stop giving attention to women who don't give back, and more. It should be an investment that has a high % of interest! Her interest!

Now - Forget this woman she is nothing to you, and go find more.

 

[TheEdgeOf]

Oh yeah lol, I didn't mention, that she wasn't the only woman in my life right now, I thought that was a given. But, unlike most of the other women I've met, she really peaks my interest. I'm not really stressing over it, but she is actually usually a lot of fun to talk to, just not so much these last few days. I'd rather not next her just like that. Like I said, I'll just lay low for a while and see what happens. And you're right, she's just a girl, I won't let it phaze me, there's always plenty other women if it doesn't work out.

 

[ZenGodMod]

Alright, ZenGodMod, I'm going to have to disagree with you there. The damage hasn't been done yet, but the last 3-5 days, I've noticed that she's starting to draw back, basically the early signs that I've been giving too much attention, so I'm want to stop this before it get's out of hand and the damage is irreparable.

Not to be too presumptuous, but from my personal experience with people, I'd say that what you're applying to my situation has just recently happened to you, maybe it's even the reason you came looking for something and stubled upon this site, apparently you joined less than a month ago. Now I could be wrong, but wtv, I don't really care. I doubt our paths will cross again anyway.

But back to my situation, now I'm pretty sure, I've been giving her too much attention, I need to lay back and starve her a bit. Until she comes looking for it again. I just wanted to check with you guys on the forum, and thanks to 916joe for clarifying.

Your over analyzed my situation here. Nothing at all along your lines.

But i do notice, you pretty much know what you should do, but you want confirmation. I believe is just a little lack of confidence.

 

[TheEdgeOf]

Your over analyzed my situation here. Nothing at all along your lines.

But i do notice, you pretty much know what you should do, but you want confirmation. I believe is just a little lack of confidence.

Yeah, I doubted I was right about you, but it was fun to try and see into the mind of someone else for a bit. But yeah, my problems not really a lack of confidence, I was planning on doing this from the start, but I just wanted to hear to oppinion of some more experienced DJs. I don't usually post on the forums because most of the advice that the people here give usually isn't that helpful because no matter how much someone tries to explain their situation, they can't really explain it entirely, there's just too many factors. And without knowing the exact situation, it's really is hard to offer advice. The only reason I came to you guys for this is because this is a pretty basic problem and your advice could probably help because the situation really isn't that complicated.

Thanks for the advice.