I still don't get it

[NoNickname]

I've been to this site for about six months now; my life is improving, I'm doing all the things I can to make myself feel better, and so on... simply materializing pretty much all of the self-improvement tips that exist on this forum.

This self-improvement has somewhat improved my happiness and confidence etc. But as for the success with girls, the situation has scarcely changed. I still believe that it will get better as I keep on improving my life, and I will definitely continue doing that. But what makes me feel uncertain about the whole dating community philosophy about being the prize, not showing too much interest, "pals over *****" and so on, are the following examples from my social circumference:

Let's start off with my oneitis:
I fell for her (I was still an AFC then), but was too scared to make a move, even though there could have been something. I decided to start making a move, but then, she was already taken by a guy who had bought her a seemingly expensive necklace. He gave this to her around christmas, and they got together around a week later.
She hadn't bought anything for him, and it seemed like he did it to make her like him even more... you know what I'm talking about.
But it worked - they've been together for around six months now.

Second is one of my best mates, who got together with a friend of ours a few months ago. He is/was like the ultra nice guy to her. He is still treating her too nice, in my opinion. An example of this is when she mentioned she wanted tea, and at once he was like "I'll do it", and he used a couple of minutes to fix her tea. There are lots of examples like these between them. He is putting her on a pedestal, and is showing lower value.

Third is another one of my best mates, who actually told this girl he was in love with her (she had another boyfriend at that time). As her relationship ended a couple of months ago, things started to work out between them, and now they don't seem to be far from being a couple. It seems like she is really into him.

Fourth (and last): These two are only acquaintances, but I am in the same social circumference as them. They've been together for over two years. For him, she is everything, and she seems to be more important than good friends. He is choosing to be with her instead of his friends, and "pals over *****" seems to be the polar opposite of his mindset.

These are only a few examples of many similar things I've seen.

I don't get it. These ways to succeed with girls aren't suppose to work! Why do they work?

If there is not something essential about "the game" that I have missed, there has to be something really wrong with the girls from where I live.

What do you guys think?

 

[PumpingIron13]

I cant be 100 % sure but from what you've told me you have just observed results but not really the game those guys were playing. You never know what they could have done. Some guys are different and it might work out for them but stick to the way of the DJ and it will work out with you in an even smoother and better way.

 

[MARVEL IQ]

Wow ok, all of the relationship you describe are all unhealthy relationships.
One person is putting in more than the other. Signs of diasters.

Yes, yes. On the surface, it looks like a great relationship but play close attention to the way things work in that relationship. We aren't saying game is the only way to get girls, if it was the human race wouldn't be so huge. We are saying its the best way. For reasons:

1. You are happy with yourself and you don't feel like you are putting other people's happiness before your own.
2. You end up with a great girl who isn't emotional messed up and she treats you good just as much or even better as you treat her.
3. You wear the pants in your relationship i.e. you lead the relationship and you've never afraid you'll lose her rather she is afraid she'll lose you
4. You have options. Do you really think your friends ever felt they had options on which girl they could date.

I get you, you are thinking "What the Hell?" How come they have girlfriends but not me, I'm the one with game. You have to realize that this will happen but you should never settle for a crappy relationship where you are truly not happy.

Maybe the reason why you aren't having successes is your mindset. You are starting to doubt yourself. That's a bad move. Learn game is like learning an intrustment. It takes time and hard work. If you are willing to put in both. Trust me you will not ever have to doubt yourself again in any area of your life.

And that girl you lost to the guy. If she really went out with him just 'cause he got her a necklace then you dodge a bullet. She is a golddigger, just an immature girl who thinks true happiness can be bought by money.

Stay strong and keep working at it. "Success is sometimes just a few feet away from momentary defeat."

Love,
Marvel IQ

 

[NoNickname]

Thanks for the replies, guys.

I'm not quite sure I understand the consequences of "unhealthy relationships", but as for the fourth guy who always prefers to be with his girlfriend instead of everybody else, I have noticed a remarkable difference in his appearance after he got together with her. Both of them have become more boring and less interesting persons. This has happened to others as well. I know about several couples, where both the girl and the boy have become so attached to each other, and so boring.

I'm not gonna be like that.