I need your collective advice on LTR

[frivolousz21]

here is the deal..ive been with this girl for about 3 days haha!

lets go back....

ive known her for 1 yr 9 months or so.

we dated for 1 month when we first meet...and mutually broke up..i was ok with it..she was pretty hurt..but afterwards..didnt really talk much.

we started talking more and more...over the next yr or so.

never really talked about hooking up..i was dating so many girls and i know she dated guys..we would talk about it.

anyways this yr about 4 months ago..we ended up talking more and more on AIM...I told her to call me a few times...but i didnt answer I was always busy dating other women.....eventually she told meshe liked me..I told her I share the feeling.


well i had a gf at that time...so i didnt do **** yet.I wasnt sure what to do..but i knew it was growing..we started talking on the phone...

basically i got rid of my x gf.....on May 26th....the next night I met up with her..we were making out in 5 min....so we went to see a movie 2 days later..got better...started talking more on the phone..we went ot the zoo last saturday...started talking on the phone even more....over an hour.

went to this play thing but it was cancelled tuesday....so we sat on a blanket and got it on for hours in a park.

since then ive talked to her a ton on the phone..we are going out dancing tongiht..and hanging out sunday for sure.

ive opened up to her in many ways ive never thought of before....

im not and AFC..but I cant talk for hours wth her...it hurts my gut that ive done this..I feel like im not being a DJ but i do really like her..and I think this girl could be the it.

I want to play it more cool tho.
we have a potential here..


how do i take things back slowly without compromising the relationship

thanks guys!

 

[frivolousz21]

well....thats its..i thought of it...im just going to fycking chill...and take back my man hood

i dont know why this is ****ing with me so much

 

[darthsidious]

good.

that is a fatal flaw the jedi made they were so "confident" in their abilities to predict or assume the "future" they could not see what was going on right in front of their eyes in the current.

the sith act on present with passion, many call this evil but this is the only way to control yourself to only deal with the present and only with the present. you can make plans and such but never expect them to work out perfectly.

p ussyface-lamer and puerto rican illegal will never tell you that, they are idiots trust me now and forever.

 

[al77]

Originally posted by frivolousz21


.started talking more on the phone..we went ot the zoo last saturday...started talking on the phone even more....over an hour.

since then ive talked to her a ton on the phone..we are going out dancing tongiht..and hanging out sunday for sure.

im not and AFC..but I cant talk for hours wth her...it hurts my gut that ive done this..I feel like im not being a DJ but i do really like her..and I think this girl could be the it.

I want to play it more cool tho.
we have a potential here..

how do i take things back slowly without compromising the relationship

How about something simple?

a) Cut out on the phone talk... completely. Talk on the phone only if you really have to - set up a date and thats it... if she asks why "I'd rather talk to you in person".

b) promote another girl into a new gf status and hang out with her from time to time. In that way you naturally will play it cool with that first girl since you will have less time and less emotions invested in her.

Very simple.

 

[frivolousz21]

thats great advice..but im not doing that..she is my gf..thats cheating..wtf

but I will have to will myself to talk less...Ive been sick at home..thats 1 huge reason why we talked so much...

im not worried of losing her..I was worried of losing myself

 

[belividere]

here is the deal..ive been with this girl for about 3 days haha!

thats great advice..but im not doing that..she is my gf..thats cheating..wtf

here is the deal..ive been with this girl for about 3 days haha!

You sexing her? Has she outright said that she needs you to be with her and only her and if you aren't she will walk away and never come back. Alright thats a womanly lie but you get the picture.

Anyways you aren't in an LTR. Are you trying to say that she is possibly like the one?

http://www.sosuave.com/ubb/Forum6/HTML/000448.html

Beware infatuation it can put blinders on you.

 

[frivolousz21]

no offense i know more than u do!


but great advice.........


im takin the blinders off!

 

[belividere]

No offense taken. Take what ever I say with a grain of salt if you wish. I can however tell you that I have been in three LTR's that all ranged from 1.5-2 yrs in my day so I feel that I can give truthful advice on them. I have also had many shorter 2-3 month relationships, I'm somewhat in two at the moment. From experience it is amazing how different people are once you get to know them. By know them I mean intimately for long stretches of time, at least 6months to a year. Their are natural progressions to a relationship. Usually for the first few months to a year one party is stuck in a state of infatuation. Anyways dont try and tell me that you know more than everyone who has posts on LTR's in the bible to. Go check those out and figure stuff out from there.

 

[frivolousz21]

oh no..man i didnt mean i know more than u!


i meant with my situation........u prolly do more than me.

and u are right infactuation blinds the mind and leads the heart.

ive let the reins go.....time to pull back the horses!

 

[belividere]

Friv,
I actually took what you said as being in reference to your particular situation. I've just seen it time and time again with myself and close friends were we think we are getting into something and in the end it isn't what we expected. I'm not trying to say that because of my experiences I really know more than anyone either. If I did I wouldn't be here learning anymore. I can give some advice on commonalities that I've seen from experience and moving to quick to fast is always a bad thing.

I know you dont like AD's stuff so much but look over it again a couple of more times. He has some gems that I will apply to my next LTR. Really all the articles on LTR's in the bible have some very good points. And for what it is worth I'm actually happy for you having found someone that you can connect with deeply. Best of luck with her.

 

[frivolousz21]

thanks man I appreciate that!

I really do.


i woke up today..feeling like I holy ****..wat am I doing..Im a man...i cant do this ****...like I was giving something away..tlaking for hours and hours..I didnt want to do that!

It didnt feel right then or now..not that she isnt amazing..but ur right..we are young...this relationship wont work talking that much..it jsut wont..

well anyways we are going dancing tonight..I hope to shake this bad vibe I have and get thigns going on track.

 

[christz]

i'm sittin here wondering friv it seems that talking to this girl on the phone is the thing that bothers you most..

and i ask

what the hell is wrong with talking to a chick once a day for 30 minutes to an hour?