"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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I need help/suggestions ASAP!

katsi

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This is my first post on here so Hi everyone, anyway heres the scenario.

Ive been dating this girl for about 3 weeks now, we sorta just jumped into the relationship. The more recent problems have been that ive had trouble finding things to do, and initiating conversation. Also, she is a christian girl, she has morals etc...However she recently complained to me about not being affectionate enough or "not making enough moves" what is a good pace/ way to do this without making it too obvious? Another thing, this really irritates me, she seems to find about 1000 things wrong with me everytime we meet, however its mostly when were going out with other ppl. When were alone she hardly says anything at all about it.

My biggest mistake is that i told her i love her already, i with i hadnt said that, I DO love her, however it would have made things less complicated.

ANYTHING AT ALL that will help me is appreciated greatly, I really am into this girl, she is the kind of girl you marry not **** (you know the type) Plz guys, i need input im not very experienced in relationships.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Zod

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You screwed up bad...Theres just so much to comment on.

1. What are you looking for (example: LTR)?

2. How old are you?

3. You don't love her, you just have a bad case of one-itis.

4. Read up on being a PUA / DJ.

5. How many times have you went out with her on a 'date'?

6. Having sex is immoral?

7. Have you kissed her yet? Have you gotten further than kissing?

8. What are you doing when she tells you that you have all these problems about you?

9. Is this your first experience with a girl?

10. Again, you don't love her.

11. Judging that this is in the high school forum I am going to assume you are at least 18 or below. So why are you talking about this is the kind of girl you marry? Do you want to marry this broad? Just an FYI, a very high % of high school relationships never result in marriage, and if so they never work out. Not saying that there isn't that rare scenario where they do, but they probably don't.

12. You DON'T love her.
 

katsi

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Im looking for a long term as is she

im almost 18

weve gone on prolly about 10 real dates

shes pro abstinence

we have kissed, but she says to take things slowly

i just kind of stand there and try to change the subject when she comments, however if its on the phone/AIM i sorta just agree, although recently we almost broke up because i told her i was sick of how she can only seem to find things wrong with me etc etc.

this is my second experience, the last one was 2 years
 

Zod

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Originally posted by katsi
Im looking for a long term as is she

im almost 18

weve gone on prolly about 10 real dates

shes pro abstinence

we have kissed, but she says to take things slowly

i just kind of stand there and try to change the subject when she comments, however if its on the phone/AIM i sorta just agree, although recently we almost broke up because i told her i was sick of how she can only seem to find things wrong with me etc etc.

this is my second experience, the last one was 2 years
Alright, not as bad as I thought.

I think shes playing games when she says to take things slowly. If you attempt to advance things, and she stops you, just don't worry about it and go back to what you were doing before. Wait a bit, then attempt again. If she stops you once again, try for one last time. If she rejects your advances AGAIN then it's time you probably try to talk to her about it. If this is the case, you need to call her on it.

Telling you that you aren't making enough moves and then telling you to take it slow definently sounds odd to me.

Good for you on calling her out about when she says bad things about you. But if she even starts saying ANYTHING, and I mean anything, you must immiedately jump in and tell her to stop.

Also, do you want to initiate in sex? Anyone on this forum can and will vouche for me when I say getting married without having any sexual relations is a VERY bad idea.

Because, if you wan't sex, and she isn't going to give it up till your married...well you may want to find another girl.

I think this girl has too much control of you know, whether or not that can be changed I do not know. I suggest getting her to ligten up (unlikely) and just ending the relationship.

Oh and what did she say when you said you love her?
 

Inquire

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zod's right in most cases, but for me to u, go more to the "jerk" side. just do it. if she says u arent makin enough moves, then make them when she dont know, but make sure the timing is right.

also, dont call her, u broke up, forget her! if u really like her, make her come back to you somehow, read the dj bible, so you're more in control.

also, U MESSED UP. u said i love u. ouch man. i kinda did tat too but never said it to her face back in the day.

and like zod, yea man wat happend after u said i love u?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Zod

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Just thought of something.

You do this, say "hey babe, you know the other day when I said I love you?"

She responds, "yes?"

You, "Well, *pausepausepause* I want to tell you what I really meant to say, *pausepausepause*. I meant to say I love *Pausepausepause* your tits"
 

Inquire

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Originally posted by Zod
Just thought of something.

You do this, say "hey babe, you know the other day when I said I love you?"

She responds, "yes?"

You, "Well, *pausepausepause* I want to tell you what I really meant to say, *pausepausepause*. I meant to say I love *Pausepausepause* your tits"
yo katsi, u should do this. hahah, tats funny, and smooth. haha. almost fell off my seat when i read tat.
 

Zod

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Originally posted by Inquire
yo katsi, u should do this. hahah, tats funny, and smooth. haha. almost fell off my seat when i read tat.
Yeah, only problem I see is that from what he has said - this chick seems to be really stiff. I get the feeling she would slap him instead of laugh.

But Katsi, try it out if you think her response will be good.
 

Inquire

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^jsut do it on the phone and hope u never have to be close for her to slap u. lol.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

katsi

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lol some funny and good stuff here, the thing is, she told me she loved me before i told her...i respect her alot, however i sorta know what you mean about not having sex before marriage, it sux. Im gonna read the DJ bible like a madman.
 

Mr. Debonaire

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Originally posted by dannowillbookem
ahhah a christian chick telling u ur not making enough moves? thats a baddd sign man.
nonono, your confusing christian with catholic. not all christians are catholics.

btw no bashing im also a catholic
 

dannowillbookem

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Originally posted by Mr. Debonaire
nonono, your confusing christian with catholic. not all christians are catholics.

btw no bashing im also a catholic
psh i'm not confusing **** my folks are so religious and i know all the rules.

but christian ("protestant" mr. details) girls are so withheld...they tell u ur not making enough moves u need to reevaluate your love life.
 

Mr. Debonaire

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Originally posted by dannowillbookem
psh i'm not confusing **** my folks are so religious and i know all the rules.

but christian ("protestant" mr. details) girls are so withheld...they tell u ur not making enough moves u need to reevaluate your love life.
lol no thats what i mean

really religious protestant girls are often pretty concerned with things like abstinence. the catholic girls are the ones that you would need to....

wait, i just realized that you were right. lmao

maybe i should actually read the post next time...
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Porky

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this thread made me grimace from beginning to end.
 

katsi

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this thread can be closed, i worked everything out, all it took was a good fight and 3 days to cool down, everything is great now, actually better than before.

Thnx guys!
 

Inquire

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Originally posted by katsi
this thread can be closed, i worked everything out, all it took was a good fight and 3 days to cool down, everything is great now, actually better than before.

Thnx guys!
ur not goin to tell us what happend?
 

katsi

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appologies, havnt had time to do much of anything, i pretty much just confronted her on all the issues that had come up, she didnt like that AT ALL! we ended the night with us not speaking to eachother..and it went that way for a few days. Eventually we talked things over, and everything worked out.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

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