I need help (not a DJ problem)

[Double_Diamonds]

Hey thanks for reading this, unless you're an arrogant moderator....than just **** off.

But everyone else, I need help. I've got some serious problems at home. Trouble in paradise. I'm 15 years old and live in a rural area. We're very poor and that leads to many many more problems. There are also other unrelated problems like family issues, religious issues, medical issues. It's so hard to explain.

But I need to do something. Run away from home. Find god. Kill myself. Resort to crime. I don't know what to do. If I want to survive I need to make a drastic change. This isn't clinical depression, and I don't slit my wrists. I've tried everything I can. I steal money but I have no ability to spend it. I try to get a job but my parents won't let me. I try to go to church or talk to some religious authority, and I'm not allowed. This is just ****ing crazy. Anything and everything I've tried to do to solve my problems have failed.

For example, I want to be a better DJ. Well improving my physique would help right? We hardly have food, my parents won't let me work out in school, and they refuse to buy (or get for free) any work out equipment. So of course I steal money to try to afford this, and that gets me nowhere. I try to do a peaceful, spiritual resolution, but than that just isn't allowed either. These kinds of issues come up with everything I try to do. Everything.

What can I do? What would you do? And I'm not just talking about that one issue (physique), I mean in general.

 

[Nocturnal]

I hate to say it, but your best bet is to just deal with it for a few years until you can be out on your own. What are your plans for the future? Basically, college, yes or no?

In the meantime, it doesn't sound like your parents are going to be swayed much. Depending on your situation, you might talk to them and explain things from your side... sincerely. If they hear you out and are willing to cut the BS, then you might be able to reconcile some of the situation if you're completely honest with eachother. However, from the situation it kind of sounds like that might have no effect on your parents, depending on what they are like. If it doesn't, the best thing to do would just be to deal with it. If they ask you to do something, and you know the only way to keep the peace is to do it, then just do it. Don't steal money, don't "resort to crime." Just put up with it for a few more years and then you can get on your way as if it was just a bad dream.

What are the details of the situation? Where are the real problems coming from?

 

[diablo]

It doesn't sound like resorting to crime would be a very intelligent thing to do, especially if you're (as you say) from a rural area in which you haven't been exposed to very much of the rest of the world. While prison would give you 3 meals a day, you might find the other aspects of it... less than appealing.

Elaboration on your situation would be very beneficial. Just as you wouldn't come on here and say "My car won't start, I hate it, I should get a new car and I should burn this car. I put nothing in it but unleaded gasoline and I keep my glasses in the glove compartment - why won't my car start?" you wouldn't want to come on here and ask for advice on what you should do without telling us what you can do.

Sure, you've said you can run away from home. You're 15 - unless you've got money or street smarts (from the sounds of your post you have neither... but most 15 year olds don't, so it's not a big deal) that probably isn't a very practical option. Things would be worse as a runaway than they are at home (generally sound advice unless you're being abused).

You've also said that finding God would solve your problems. Maybe it will, maybe it won't - but "finding God" isn't as simple as flipping a light switch. You could go years without doing it... and not to be cynical, but it seems that all that would accomplish would be to allow you to be more serene and content with how your life is going... not actually give you some new power to change it.

Killing yourself is certainly an option, and one that virtually every person thinks about by the time they hit 16. It goes with the age. Just bear in mind that it's a very long term solution to a temporary problem. Yes, your problem is temporary. Unless you're being chained to your house and kept under lock and key (and will continue to be held in such a manner until your death) then my guess is that you'll be able to leave home by 18.

As for your stealing money but having nowhere to spend it, I'm not sure I understand. In one sentence you write that you have the stolen money, but no food, and in the next you write that you have nowhere to spend it. Try a grocery store - this will put food in your stomach, and allow you to spill your ill-gotten gains. Who are you stealing this money from? How do you reconcile your continual theft with your attempts to "find God"? How do you see your stealing other people's money helping you live a better life?

Also, last I checked they served lunch to pretty much all high schoolers. Is your school not doing this? Speaking of school, how can your parents "not allow" you to work out while you're there? Is there some sort of video monitoring equipment that broadcasts your every move to their computer monitors at work? Of course not. Why can't you stay late for "tutoring", get there early, or even scarf down your lunch and then use the rest of the period to hit the weights?

Just to set you straight about having to use workout equipment in order to improve your physique, that's absolute rubbish. I've never heard anyone say that "if you don't have a weight bench, etc, you aren't going to get big". In fact, many articles on bodybuilding.com deal specifically with "no-weight" exercises that you can do with no barbell, no benchpress, no anything... other than yourself. You live in a rural area - there's got to be tons of stuff you can do outdoors, away from your parents that will get you ripped up. If you're as serious as you claim about wanting to get big, go lift rocks. Climb trees. Plow a field. Build a cabin. Split firewood. You get the idea...

Just out of curiosity, what's your problem with moderators? Did one kill your kitten in a past life? (Gio?)

 

[Double_Diamonds]

I think I've done a good job of elaborating on my situation. Old over bearing controlling parents and no money. Also, I haven't lived in the rural area forever. I was born in Minneapolis, a few blocks from lake street.

Thanks for responding, most people just let the post go. As far as finding god, I bring that up because I've struggled with it my whole life. I've tryed so many different religions and have a lot of difficulties with that. While this is solely my problem, I know if I could solve it, that it would help with others. As far as money I mean that I can't just get in my car (don't have one) and drive to town and spend the money. I'm always with my parents. I never said that our school didn't feed me either. We can only work out after school, and I have no way to get home if I do that.

Thanks for replying though, you had very thurough responses. I was surprised I didn't see a "just do it" reply and than have my post locked.

 

[rgeere]

Originally posted by diablo
You've also said that finding God would solve your problems. Maybe it will, maybe it won't - but "finding God" isn't as simple as flipping a light switch. You could go years without doing it... and not to be cynical, but it seems that all that would accomplish would be to allow you to be more serene and content with how your life is going... not actually give you some new power to change it.

Actually, this isn't entirely true ... The bible does in fact teach an internal change ... The problem is that most people really have very little clue what the bible teaches or God expects of them and that fact alone causes them to remain sheep.

As far as the contentment, that is a direct result of having an assertive outlook. Nothing weak about that ...

 

[Wyldfire]

Okay...so you're poor and have strict parents. It's not the end of the world...it just means that you are going to have to be creative.

Working out...

1) Running is free and all you need is the ability to go outside.

2) Get some old pillowcases or burlap sacks and fill them with rocks and use them as weight resistance. Just find something heavy enough and use it as weights.

3) Clean, clean, clean...the garage, the barn, neighbors' garages and barns...yard work...whatever you can find to do that will make you sweat.

Religion...

1) Stop into a church and tell them you don't have a copy of the bible and would like to start reading it. They will probably give you one.

Money...

1) Tell your neighbors that if they need their lawn mowed, chores done, etc. that you will do it for them for a small fee.

2) Babysit

3) Do NOT steal...

4) Do well in school, do what is expected of you at home and demonstrate to your parents that you are responsible. THEN...tell your parents that you would like to get a job to be able to provide for your own needs as much as possible and help out with food since you're a growing kid and eat a lot. Convince them that they have something to gain from letting you get a job. As long as your grades in school are good and your behavior isn't an issue...they should let you get a job.

If they interfere in you doing any of the things I listed and you honestly aren't doing anything to warrant it then you just have messed up parents. If that is the case, if you have any aunts, uncles or grandparents in the area who would let you stay with them, then talk to them and ask if they will help you. If you have no other option then go to your guidance counselor and ask for advice on what your options are.

 

[Wyldfire]

Oh...and save money from doing chores for neighbors and buy yourself a used bicycle if you don't already have one. It can get you to and from a job AND give you a good workout.

I noticed that you have checked out many religions. I did the same thing. This might help you some...you don't need to belong to any religion to believe in God. Spirituality doesn't require organized religion. That's how I am. I pray for strength and guidance and try to be a good person. Churches and organized religion complicates things too much...and they tend to preach hatred of those different from them and are hypocritical. Perhaps you should stop "seeking" God and just believe in and accept Him as real. When you feel the urge...take a walk by a stream, lake or in the woods and just talk to God or pray there. That's what I do...because churches don't and never will suit me. That might work for you, too.

 

[LuvMyArmyMan]

good advice wyldfire.

But most of all i think is to just do good in school. You can get a scholarship someplace and get the hell out of where you are and be free and on your own. good luck. only thing is this kind of change takes a long time and its gonna take awhile but it will be worth it in the end. just dont give up hope.

One question...you said you'd go to church or talk to some kind of religious authority but aren't allowed? how/why is that?

 

[LuvMyArmyMan]

I'd reccomend reading Paradise Lost by John Milton. Brilliant man, he is.

 

[Double_Diamonds]

Wyldfire and Sazuki thanks a lot. The help on religion was especially good.

 

[comic_relief]

bump