I need a little advice

[boners]

Hey guys, first of all, I would like to say that I am really thankful that this site exists for guys like me who knew almost nothing about girls. But right now, I believe im improving little by little. I would like to ask for your help regarding a situation which actually led me to this site.

I became a part of a fellowship group. There was a girl there who became really close with me. I dont want to sound arrogant but it was a fact that she was the one who exerted the effort to be close to me. She had a bf at that time and she had issues with him. To put it simply, I believe she was just bored with him. Anyway, my last relationship prior to that ended with the girl cheating on me and I vowed to myself that I wont do it to another person. So when she was inviting me for coffee, asked me to accompany her to wherever, I had always made it casual just as friends do. I knew she was a little in to me but I was resisting because like I said, I wouldnt want to be the cause of a break-up. But in the end, I fell for her. Eventually, she broke up with her boyfriend and then we became cool. There were no formal commitments but when we were alone together, we act like we were in a relationship. She said that she wasn't ready yet at that time and she wants to enjoy her life being single. It confused me that time since we were exchanging affectionate words and holding hands and kissed as well. But I was cool with what she said that she wasnt ready for a relationship.

Now, after a short while, some other guy made the moves on her. and in an instant, we were on equal footing. i wasnt really dumped but that really got to me because it seemed that the times we shared together were meaningless. so in short, she was single and uncommitted, and she was enjoying the attention from both of us.

so, any advice on what should i do here?

 

[ketostix]

Well what she was doing was preparing to branch swing. You probbaly could've seduced her, but your morals held you back. Her line about not being ready is basically BS. In general, what you need to do is get her alone and escalate on her or pull back, or try to escalate and if it's no go then pull away. Be seen flirting and interacting with other girls, jealousy will motivator her to come on to you. I'm guessing she thinks she has you under her thumb right now and at any minute , if she hasn't already, will be hooking up with some other guy.

 

[War Against Betaism]

She's thinking right now that she's the one with the options. You have to reverse that situation; make it seem like you have more options than her. You do this by not showing exterior signs of jealousy (we all get jealous inside, but to an extent we can hide it on the outside), get flirty with other girls and try to get them attracted to you. In the situation you are in right now, you're more of an insurance policy for her, aka a rebound.

 

[boners]

thanks for your advice. i appreciate all the help that i can get from you guys.

 

[MacAvoy]

Ketostix hit the nail on the head, she was branch swinging. When she became single, you failed to act. Your only hope now is to move on and start dating other women. Stop contacting her. Then she will come to you.

However more important than all of that, what you really need to do is read The Bible. It has all of the answers in there, once you read it, you will know what to do and not have to ask here. Knowledge is power.

 

[boners]

thanks MacAvoy! il keep that in mind