It is normal.
You're still too emotionally attached to her and the relationship for right now.
I think you need a little more emotional distance, and more processing.
All men are pretty much like this, reason being is that you really cared about her. She wasnt just some dumb, random anonymous chick. So there was an emotional INVESTMENT.
So of course youre going to be a little unsettled at the thought and vision of her being with other guys. But if she's human too, she will feel like that when she sees you and knows you're out there socially active and dating, and being intimate with women, not just one, but several.
She will hurt too.
Sure, a lot of this has to do with our ego, and self image.
We want to be believe we are perfect partners, and are extremely attractive.
Sometimes , we arent. Sometimes we look bad, say the wrong thing, make poor choices , etc...
But yeah, after years of investing your time and resources on her, you will be a little upset seeing her single, and laughing it up with other guys, and more than likely being sexual with men other than you.
But its life. It is how it is.
She has a right to romance, love and passion, but...so do YOU.
You cant fault her for it. And neither can she do that to you.
The truth is that we have to process these emotions and reflect on them.
Deal with them. Face them. Face yourself.
Dont hide from them, and dont distract yourself too much with another lover.
Life will go on.
If you care about her, you will want her to be happy.
if you didnt want to continue to be with her, dont place any blocks on her being with a good, caring man who loves her. Remember, YOU chose this.
Everyone deserves a good partner and a good relationship.
A lot of this pain and suffering is also ego related.
We dont like the idea of her being sexual with another man. So we take offense,somehow still partly expecting monogamous loyalty. Its not rational. But its not supposed to be a 'rational' emotion really.
We feel betrayed. Sure, it doesnt make sense, but its how men are wired.
We want to feel like sexual super gods or something, or the maverick captains of industry , able to provide her with amazing material goods,or whatever reason, like she will never be happy with any other man other than us!
But thats ego talking.
Thats not really what you want for her. Deep down.
Just because she may be with another man doesnt necessarily, automatically mean we are WORTHLESS. It doesnt diminish or de value us.
Really. Its true.
I mean, we do begin to identify with our partners sometimes to a degree. But we cant go so far that we think we are sh*t without her. We place our value on her.
Most women dont think like that at all.
Its not fair to men to do that to ourselves. To willingly emasculate ourselves and cut down our self esteem like that. Dont do that. This part is due to low Self Esteem.
But at the end of the day, a lot of that stuff is our primal brain reacting.
Its not about analyzing logical equations and stuff.
its how we're wired. And we're wired to be Territorial. And possesive to a certain degree. Some men go overboard, but others are pretty cool in the sense that theyre protective of their woman, not controlling or domineering.
Its mostly about security. But it is also rooted in vigilance.
(We had to watch out for our women, lest she be abducted or raped, or whatever. There was a little less reasoning and evolved societies, and social norms, and no Police as you know.)
So we react PRIMALY. As in animal/caveman like.
So yes, its normal.
But...
We have the gift of human reasoning. We are NOT animals.
And we can figure out Values. And assess importance to things, properly, not in a crazed delusional manner.
Thats a gift.
This is all tied in to the Healing part after an LTR.
We all go through it.
Honor it, respect it, and give it time to heal.
Do this for yourself and her. So that you dont carry pain, suffering and resentment. All thats stuff is toxic.
Carrying around toxins depletes you of many things.
So be good to yourself. Make sure you DO take care of yourself.
And make sure you honor this part of our Humanity.
Its how we're wired. So its not unnatural.
Its not fun, but its part of life.
And if you believe in yourself, and believe you deserve health, wealth, happiness and love, then you will do your part and heal this.
And let her find her happiness too.
At the end of the day we dont OWN anyone.
If we think we do, we are mistaken.
Thats why everything you give and everything you receive is ultimately a GIFT. Never to be taken for granted. Always respected, honored, and cherished.
And this is no bullsh*t.
This is how we move through a healthy, really, genuinely loving relationship. Where partners communicate their love and even disappointment and concerns with love, and compassion.
NEVER playing games, never taking each other for granted.
Never being complacent.
Complacency Kills.
And it can kill your relationship, and adversely affect the behavior of your partner.
So be AWAKE in your LTR. And cherish, appreciate, and honor the little things you do for each other. And expect that from your partner. IF she doesnt do the above, then you KNOW in your heart that youre not compatible with this woman, and she doesnt value you and your masculine resources.
So love the woman that DOES, that loves you for WHO you are, not what fancy things you can buy her.
Show her daily that you appreciate her, and if you have those masculine 'goods', and truly light her femeninity on fire, she WILL appreciate you, and let you know how much you mean to her. Thats part of a healthy relationship too. Her showing you her love, demonstrating it, and making it a REALITY. Something you see, hear, and feel. THAT is what you NEED.
Its not about getting her approval, or acceptance, or 'not making her mad'.
Dont be afraid of her.
She doesnt want you to be afraid of her. If shes healthy and want a Man, she doesnt...
But instead focus on developing yourself into that "Superior" Man. BE that guy.
And if she doesnt appreciate you, you HAVE to walk.
And if she does, then BE there. Respect and nurture that relationship.
Relationships are based on what the Couple do for each other to show love and appreciation, WHO they are at their core, and how they handle their issues and adversities among other things.
Use all these things that you reflect on for a better future.To be even more CLEAR on what you want. What you want to create and manifest. What you wont tolerate. And what you dont want,and dont want to associate with.
To make better more informed decisions.
To improve your life, your quality of life.
I hope some of this helps.
Good luck.
