I just don't like reaching out

[tryst type]

I'm tired of handing over the power by initiating contact first. Sure it works sometimes and because of success here and there it seems to permit this behavior. But I want to switch the power roles and have girls contacting me first all the time. Any ideas on how to do this? Girls want to pursue, they're probably not used to being allowed to when us guys are always reaching out to them first!

 

[Tiguere]

If you are constantly on the prowl reaching out would be a non-issue. It only becomes an issue when you decide to stop approaching and hang on to the same girls.

 

[tryst type]

If you are constantly on the prowl reaching out would be a non-issue. It only becomes an issue when you decide to stop approaching and hang on to the same girls.

I'm referring to "setting up dates" or getting a girl to hang out. Rather have them reach out to me. Switch the roles so to speak

 

[rocket87]

You are having a mental struggle with the term "power."

Your interactions should give girls you come across ample time to contact you first. For example, you open a girl, have a chat, exchanges #s, chat some more, say bye. What do you do? Well of course you wait a couple days until the next 'event' happens. This gives a girl 1-2 days to contact you first; but after 2 days and nothing it'd be a mistake to wait any longer before initiating some sort of communication.

This has absolutely nothing to do with power. Some girls will feel the urge to contact you 15 minutes after you exchange #s. Some will wait a day, some would never imagine contacting you first. It all depends on factors surrounding the initial interaction (randomness of the first meeting, familiarity with each other, amount of attraction built, her judgments of you, etc.)

You are "exchanging" numbers and not just getting them, correct?


Finally, you're the man. Men lead. Men control. You should be controlling the interaction not her. Whoever is in control has more "power."


- No offense, but you might as well change the title of this post to "I just don't like being a man" (or a leader, or a masculine figure, etc.)

 

[tryst type]

I always hand out my number and they contact me first, but after that I'd like for it to continue as them being the pursuer of me. How could I establish that more effectively? I feel like they expect me to contact afterwards and I'd rather not. Much easier having them reach out, I've noticed way better results when it's the girl's idea to see you.

Part of me wants to verbalize that I don't chase girls, but I know it'll just come off as arrogant rather than how I want things to be.