I have no conversation. Quick suggestions?

[mikeraw]

I'm not exactly a newbie or a total failure at hooking up and getting laid, but I have the conversation problem. I'm not bad looking, I have a good job, have lots of friends, am funny, and even though I've always been a nice guy, Ii've mastered being a semi-******* and ****y-funny... the thing is, that when I set up a date and go pick up the chick, I have absolutely no idea what to say...

I run down the list of standards pretty quick: havent seen you in a while, how is so and so doing, what have you done, tell her a few funny things... etc... but like 20 mins into a date, I just run out of steam... I know this is a common problem and you gusy have probably talked about this one in the past, but I just need a little help...

What are your suggestions?

 

[princelydeeds]

Alcohol :moon:

Im the same way, but it goes more with my mood. Sometimes I'm more talkative than I am at other times. The key is working very hard to find things that wil make the chick talk. Chicks love to talk, you make them comfy by getting them to tel you their whole life story. As they tell you more just remember what they say, and just repeat/ask/question/talk about what they have already told you. Look them straight in the eye and nod your head like you give a shihit and smile every once in a while :crackup:

 

[mikeraw]

Alcohol?

Man, I think I'm borderline alcoholic as it is... and trust me, that's my first priority when I talk to a girl... last Thursday I showed up to this upscale yuppie bar here in Miami after having had a few good beers so I hit it off with an acquaintance...

after pulling the Mystery line and asking if she wanted to kiss me, she told me to wait til the end of the night, and that **** just threw me off... if she'd said no, I would've told her that I didn't say she could, just that she looked like she had something on her mind, if she'd said maybe, I would've gone for it just to check, and if she said yeah, then duhg... but she said wait til the end of the nite... the way we were hitting it off, I thought I was in for sure, but then I lost steam and literally ran out of things to say...

Even drunk, and with a not totally sober girl, I run out of things to say! The night ended with a damn pop kiss... FACK!

So alcohol, yeah, even then I can't do it...

 

[Bible_Belt]

I tease them about whatever I can, making a giant deal of a tiny little thing. Maybe it is their low self-esteem, but women seem to love to be made fun of, at least in a funny way.

 

[shyguy32]

well your supposed to ask opened ended questions....questions that take more than a yes or no answer. Then you have more ammo to fire back at them.


So what made you want to be a nurse?

I like helping people!

What is it that you like the most?



then she's off....things like that!



Not that I've mastered this technique....I'm just telling you this is the way to do it. If you listen...truly listen to what she's saying hten you should never run out of conversation.

 

[squirrels]

Someone on this site, I forget who, had the following quote in his sig:

A gossip is one who talks to you about others, a bore is one who talks to you about himself; and a brilliant conversationalist is one who talks to you about yourself.

In other words, ask her open-ended questions. Get her to speak. Ask her how she feels about different things going on in her life. Pull tangents from there but pay attention to what she wants to talk about and make connections between what she feels and similar situations you've been in.

If all else fails, just look around. Draw conversation from the environment.

 

[DrJackle]

One pointer in the 'open question'-area:

use words like:
- What, as in "What made you want to become a nurse?"
- When, as in "When does a guy make you pull up your c0ckblock?"
- Why, as in "Why did you dye your hair green?"
- How, as in "How would you discribe your life so far?"

Ofcourse, these are mere examples, but I guess those little words might help you in having a good conversation.

As the other guys already said, listening is key-factor!
It will take a while before mastering these techniques, but as long as you focus on using the open-question words and listen to her reply, you will learn!

Slowdown, listen, form your answer, reply

Good luck with that,

Dr Jackle

 

[Paradox]

RTFM

There are 20 articles in the DJ Bible about conversations/conversing. Read the DJ Bible

Closed