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I have finally solved and put into words what Confidence really is.

Jester

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Confidence is *NOT* knowing that you are the best, Confidence is knowing that if you arent, its ok.
 

bust.it

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...but then you'll settle for what you have and what you've got ...as "not the best". It's the mindset of either being the best or WANTING to be the best that puts us on top of our game. If you accept that you aren't the best then what's next?


I picked this up on BWSL's sig a while back:

Confidence is knowing you're as good or better than everybody else.

Arrogance is making sure everyone else knows it.


Thoughts?
 

Green Curse

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i think the quote bust it put sums it much better then what jester wrote... jester is arrogant
 

maosrdbf

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Originally posted by Green Curse
i think the quote bust it put sums it much better then what jester wrote... jester is arrogant
He isn't arrogant. The quote implies that someone who thinks he is the best would go around showing it off. Jester was talking about how he shouldn't even think he's the best. Arrogance? No...
 

Matt Rogers

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Jester is spot on. It is far easier to be confident when you accept you are not perfect and are striving towards a goal. As soon as you think you are on top of the world, you become insecure, and fear that other people are trying to undermine you, and take your place.
 

Smooth as Anything

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Magnificent...
 

Green Curse

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the quoute bust it put doesnt say you would show off it means that if you know your the best you dont need to show off.

and what jester wrote sums up security rather then confidence but it doesnt really matter...
and i agree i cant really call jester arogant from THIS post but i still think he is from the posts by him that i have read!
 

Jinn

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Originally posted by Jester
Confidence is *NOT* knowing that you are the best, Confidence is knowing that if you arent, its ok.
That's a good way to put it, but something else should be added in.

Confidence is also not giving a fvck how good everyone else is (unless you're happy for them).
 

Ronny_Neumonic II

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Green Curse imho you are totally off.

I think Jester has it spot-on right there. Through the last 1 1/2 years I have sometimes felt that to be confident is to *think* or *know* or whatever that you are the best. This is not good. All it leads to is jealousy and *****yness. It's like your with a group of chicks and all of a sudden one of your friends who doesn't usually get much play is getting on really well with the chick who you wanted at that particular moment, and you're like "what the fúck?? If I'm the best then why did that loser get the girl???".
And it truly is a horrible mentality...

And I really can't stand people like that, so I'm now slowly trying to get out of that whole idiotic mentality. I'm finding that I feel like a better person for it.
 

Nocturnal

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Originally posted by Ronny_Neumonic II
Green Curse imho you are totally off.
Jinn you are totally off (not you ronny).

Confidence has nothing to do with "how good everyone else is". It's about how good YOU are.

If I were to define confidence, I would say:

Confidence is not knowing you're the best, it's knowing that you're as good as you need to be.

somewhat like jesters.
 

bust.it

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Originally posted by Nocturnal
Confidence is not knowing you're the best, it's knowing that you're as good as you need to be.


I think you meant "knowing your not the best". :D

One thing though, "good as you need to be" is sort of like saying that once you reach whatever level of skill you "need" to be, stop trying. Furthermore, I don't think "as good as you can be" is good enough either.

Both suggest a personal boundary that once you hit, you don't have to improve any further. Maybe I "need" to swim the 50m in 30 seconds to qualify, maybe I "can" swim it in 27 seconds, but I WANT to swim it in 23 seconds.

Whether you attain what you desire or not is irrelevant; the fact that you have a goal to aspire to live your dream is fulfilling in itself.

So I guess here's my shot at trying to put confidence into words:

Confidence is accepting who you are while living each day of your life striving to be THE BEST THAT YOU WANT TO BE.
 

Nocturnal

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i thought about that when i wrote that, then i realized that you can never reach a limit. your quote works, mine requires some interpretation. in my mind, i will always be improving. but that doesn't mean i'm not good at XXX, good enough to be confident in it. being as good as you need to be doesn't imply a stopping point, it implies the possibility. you can be confident and be at a stopping point. confidence doesn't define constant improvment.

nowhere does confidence say you have to keep improving. but that doesn't mean you shouldn't.
 

Jinn

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Originally posted by Nocturnal


Confidence has nothing to do with "how good everyone else is". It's about how good YOU are.

So many people hate others for their success or easily get jealous, if you're not like that then I'd say you're pretty confident.

I guess it would have been better said like this: "confidence is also not giving a fvck how good everyone else is in relation to yourself" (once again, with the exception of unless you're happy for them)
 

Nocturnal

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Originally posted by Jinn
So many people hate others for their success or easily get jealous, if you're not like that then I'd say you're pretty confident.

I guess it would have been better said like this: "confidence is also not giving a fvck how good everyone else is in relation to yourself" (once again, with the exception of unless you're happy for them)
you're getting the idea, but i'd say yours would be more of a contributing factor to confidence, not confidence itself.
 

BWSL2

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Originally posted by bust.it

I picked this up on BWSL's sig a while back:

Confidence is knowing you're as good or better than everybody else.

Arrogance is making sure everyone else knows it.


Thoughts? [/B]
by the way, I am the best, and I really don't care who knows it. :)
 

BWSL2

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But on a serious note...

I've learned a few things about confidence, and what it really is. Such as...

...Accepting the fact that you are human, and that everyone has their own kryptonite, but still feeling like a superhero wherever you go...

...Knowing that no matter what happens, or what anybody says, at the end of the day you'd still rather be in your own skin than anyone else's...

...Even when times get tough and you're at your worst, you know it will only get better and you'll be stronger because of it...

...No one else has as big an influence on it as you would think, even if it's a good one. A girl can give your confidence a boost or a hit, so can a job, friends, car, etc. But no matter what effect they have, they don't GIVE you your confidence. It all comes down to you, and what you think of the guy looking back at you in the mirror. As long as YOU like him, you're set...

...You can always get more, you can always lose some, but if it's really there, it will always be there in some form, and it will often be the thing that saves you...

...Confidence isn't a cure all, it's a strong foundation for a strong person...

...It will allow you to make a touchy-feely post like mine and still be OK with it. :)
 

bust.it

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Originally posted by BWSL2

...Knowing that no matter what happens, or what anybody says, at the end of the day you'd still rather be in your own skin than anyone else's...

...Even when times get tough and you're at your worst, you know it will only get better and you'll be stronger because of it...
These two apply specifically to me TODAY and over the next 4 days of exams. I'm sick, stressed, frustrated... the list goes on. It was just what I needed. Thanks :D
 
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