Its really a long story. I've known her for almost two years now and before 3 days ago we never really did anything. Before 2 days ago we did everything in are power to make the other person feel like crap. For example I slept with her best friend. I understand the cruelty of the situation at hand but she has evil ways of making me feel really bad. So I got a new girlfriend and I thought everything would be ok and then the other girl shows up at a mixer telling me she wants to dance and she told me I had to break up with that nasty girl. I obviously couldn't dance with her...what would my girlfriend think? It would tear her apart. Well anyways like 3 days after that she shows up at my house and wants to hang out. I was like ok fine we can hang out. So we watched some tv and then her friend left. Then we drove around all by ourselves and we were looking for a place to make out. Then we discovered her parents wern't home. So we went into her bedroom and made out and I took off her shirt. Then I got completely naked and then she touched me alot and then I went to take off her pants and she wouldnt let me. She is the most beautiful girl I've ever met. I know shes completely scared of sex but I just don't understand her. When she did stuff with me she already knew I was going out with another girl. I think I could be in love with the person I'm not going out with. A few days after these events I wanted to know if she wanted to hang out again. Then she said "NO". So I asked why and she called me a slut. I didn't quite get it at the time. Then she said somthing about why don't you just call up your nasty girlfriend? So I said hey maybe I will. Then the next day we got into a big fight and a discussion about suicide. So then she tells me she likes another guy. It blew my mind that she could do stuff and like 3 days later have a thing for someone else. I don't really think she does but what do I know? I personaly think she likes him to make me angry. This is like her form of revenge. I really want to just be in love with her and she said noone matters to her. The day after we did stuff she said it felt anxious , horny, good and bad all at the same time. Then she said it didn't feel right the day after that. Like she said the kiss wasn't very special and she messed up the whole relationship because of that. I think she is scared of getting attached to me or maybe getting heartbroken. Maybe she uses random guys like I've used random girls. Perhaps I love her for all the wrong reasons. Maybe having a heart is where I went wrong. I just want to know what the hell is going through her head and what to do to make her love me.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
I have an issue with this girl.
- Thread starter Ifeeldead
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