I have a problem.

[Smooth as Anything]

I have a problem with girls. Yep, and I'm not sure what it is.

It's new to me, and I'm looking for advice from a third-party who can judge the situation without clouded perception.

I...push girls away. I'm not sure what it is that makes me determine if I'm going to be an ******* to them before they even say hi, but something triggers.

I think I'm scared. I'm scared I might actually.... like them

I come to this conclusion because I find (after the fact) that the girls I push away are the ones who tend to be attractive.... So I talk to them and focus the hell out of there negative qualities, and make them hate me -- and I give myself a reason not to like them/want them/need them.

I'm not sure why I do this... it was never a problem before. What has changed? Only one thing. Me.

I went from being ugly to being attractive. It's a whole new world for me I suppose, perhaps a world I want no part of.

Maybe I want a girl to like me for my personality rather than any physical qualities I may have. Even if they don't specifically find interest in me due to my physical features, the fact is that they never would have confronted me in the past (when I was not decent looking) because they are good looking, drives me to shove them away.

Give me your help. Thank you and best wishes.

 

[Julian]

Please eloborate, what do you focus on which turns you off.

A girls physical flaw? Err?

A specific example would help.

 

[Smooth as Anything]

Originally posted by Julian
Please eloborate, what do you focus on which turns you off.

A girls physical flaw? Err?

A specific example would help.

Mostly subjective qualities. Like, their stupidity, contradictions in their beliefs, ignorance, lack of understanding.

Other chicks, I don't mind it at all. It's a part of their personality.

I don't know man, it's hard to say.

 

[Superman X]

Here's what I think it is.

You've had it drilled over and over into your head by Doc Love and Anti-Dump that you should always be a challenge and avoid oneitis at all costs.

Also, you resent the fact that girls treated you like a moldy rat turd in your AFC days.

Third, you're too smart for your own good and intellectualize too much.

So, You don't want to fvck it up by getting oneitis and not being a challenge, you resent the fact she wouldn't have looked twice in your direction a year ago, and you think way too much. These three things combine to make you repel girls you find attractive.

The first thing is less serious. You're a DJ, you don't need to put on a facade of challenge to avoid oneitis, so just turn it down a notch.

The second two are more serious. For the second one, you just have to let it go. Yeah, they weren't attracted to you when you were nice. But then again, you're not attracted to nice, 450 lb. girls either. Just be glad you turned your life around and enjoy the girls.

For the third, again, just let it go. Think less, do more. Happiness doesn't lie in intellectualizing, but in living.

-Dan