I got LJBFed -- at my age?!! (long, boring story)

[WestCoaster]

Man, women need to get some new material. The "let's just be friends" stuff is really growing old. Heck, I've heard more LJBF's in my life than the overplayed "Satisfaction" song on the radio (though I still like the Rolling Stones).

Actually it was relief getting LJBF's from this woman, I had to get some finality. I was pursuing her from about 500 miles away and went over to visit her a few times last fall and winter ... it trickled out after that. She kept talking about visiting me but that never happened (major clue No. 1). Don't get me wrong folks, when I visited her, it was where I used to live so I visited about three or four of my guy friends, too. Those weren't oneitis visits, but she was high up on the priority list.

So anyway, after e-mailing and calling for a few months and basically getting nowhere, I dropped the bomb. In an e-mail she asked me how my love life was, I told her not too bad as I was dating a lot but in reality I was "hoping she'd come around some day."

This totally threw her -- and I'm glad it did :>) She said she was "flattered" but "we're just such great friends," and, "I'm the best guy she's ever known." I should've said, "Hey, don't you want to date the best guy you've ever known?" (Not sure why she was so surprised. I visited her, brought her some nice gifts, and flirted regularly. I don't think her grad school education is translating to picking up love signals.)

Since I'm a long ways away, it was no skin off my back. Like anyone, a little disappointed, but thank God for DJism as I bounced back quickly. Anyway, had to vent. You can wake up from this snoozer of a story now!

I'm just wondering when women are going to get some new material instead of LJBF.

Actually I was expecting this line: "I wanted to date you, but you're such a DJ that I now see you as being out of my league!"

That I would like!

 

[ExHound]

Have you slept with this woman?

 

[FratAndDiddy]

well, LJBF works for them. the long distance stuff just isn't as cheap as meeting someone in the same area you live. maybe it's for the best; i think you seen the handwriting on this wall anyways.

keep trying bro, many a chicken in the sea.

 

[WestCoaster]

I don't answer that question ...

... on the internet, and here's why.

It's a public forum, even if my name is a nickname and she's anonymous. You'd be surprised at how much of the internet isn't private. And based on that exchange I wrote, she could detect a bit of it. Highly unlikely, but it could happen.

Two: That's a huge loaded question. Everytime that question has been asked on sosuave.com the guy responding gets reamed for either sleeping or not sleeping with her. "Dude, you shouldn't have slept with her, she's using you!" Or, "Dude, you didn't sleep with her, what's your f'n problem?" It's called the strawman theory: You're set up to be knocked down.

Three: I know what I'm doing with her and the situation whether I am or am not sleeping with her. It mostly dissolved because I moved so far away. It was just starting to progress when I got a job I had to take (trust me, with the economy and my slew of rejection letters, I HAD to take the job).

So anyway, what happens between us is between us, not members of this board. I vent (the purpose of my post; it was NOT to get advice), or I sometimes dispense advice.

I don't talk about my intimate life and I wasn't asking for yours or anyone's opinion other than that women need new material besides LJBF. You need to learn how to read better.

Just some words to live by after your very first post.

 

[ExHound]

Just a question, bro, take it easy.

 

[WestCoaster]

Just an answer bro ...

... take it easy.

 

[ExHound]

Sincere apologies.

Humor me, though...What's the accepted posting etiquette around here for members with a low post count? And are these rules based on overall parlance, or perceived intent? If I had felt the need to slam you, I would certainly been more creative than "Straw-Man."

If you feel the need to vent online, so be it. But I simply asked a question that might help me to understand your situation better. You sent me a long, defensive reply and you referred to my post count. What does my post count have to do with your situation?

 

[WestCoaster]

No offense taken

The reason I referred to your first post was if you'd been around here longer you'd realize the ultimate set-up question is, "Did you sleep with her?"

That's just an invitation to get ripped and the purpose of my post wasn't to seek advice, get ripped, patted on the back, or otherwise. It was just a long, rambling venting story (I warned people it was boring so they wouldn't have to read it!), and to tie in that women need new material.

The message boards here do not say, "Seek advice only." Some people like Iqqi just like to get on here and vent. If you want to see some venting, I did a pretty good number on American women for a few months! (Until Water Tiger put me in my place!)

It's different for some people, but I won't discuss bedroom stuff here. There's a reason why people call it their private life ... I just take it more seriously than others.

But IMO asking that question is just a set-up for the inevitable pile on.

Anyway, welcome to the site.

 

[ExHound]

Okey-dokey, smokey.

 

[WestCoaster]

Not sure what that word is ...

... "slepted" but it sounds more fun than sleep. Also, from my experience, a lot of "sleeping" usually isn't involved :>)

 

[ExHound]

I slepted my wife last night. We don't slepted each other as much as we used to, but once you start having kids, it's a wonder anyone gets slepted at all.

In fact, many's the night I've snuck off and slepted myself. Nobody slepteds me better.

 

[WaterTiger]

Sounds like that old comedy bit:

"Naked means you don't have any clothes on. Neckid means you don't have any clothes on and were up to something!"

 

[Chrispy]

Isn't it a good feeling to be LJBF'd..I mean...it's better to know where things are at than to be uncertain and to 'wish'...even if it is just a little.

Anyway, the distance would have made it very impractical, so it worked out...NEXT!

 

[WestCoaster]

I just want new material from women

OK, I can handle the LJBF's, but it's like the old joke that went out decades ago: "Take my wife -- please!" It's too old and needs to be retired.

Can't women think of some new material?!

My comeback should be: OK, if we're gonna just be friends, you gotta act like my best friend, Ron. Get over here in time for the college football game. We'll tailgate for an hour or so and have a few brews, gawk at the college co-eds, go to the game and scream at the refs, gawk some more at the co-eds and so forth.

When the game is over we're gonna go get some burgers, go home, watch some ESPN, look at the SI swimsuit issue, talk sports, put on some Motown, and hang out ... some how I don't think women mean that in the LJBFs.

Hey, they're the ones that wanted to be friends ... that's what my friends do!

So if they can't come up with new material, they have to act like my guy friends. If they can come up with new material I want to hear this:

"You're so out of my league that I've decided to set my sights lower!"

 

[WaterTiger]

Re: I just want new material from women

Originally posted by WestCoaster

"You're so out of my league that I've decided to set my sights lower!"

HEY! That's a good one! I'll have to try that next time!

 

[Player_Supreme]

1. Women will never get tired of turning down men they find unsuitable for what they want.

2. Long distance shyt just doesn't work.

3. This woman obviously needs a man who is closer cause they do get lonely and horny. Where are you? 500 miles away when she wants to cuddle and watch movies. Logic must pervail and that means you had to go. That's just the way it is.

4. Shame on you for trying to do a 500 mile away gig anyways. And to whine about the LJBF isn't going to make it go away.

5. Next time hunt in your own back yard (town).

 

[WestCoaster]

Totally agree Player S.

No arguments from me. I actually wasn't trying to stoke the fires from 500 miles away, I was just kind of retroactively saying sh-t, but your point is made.

Totally agree on fishing off your own dock and not casting your line so far out (I know, bad fishing analogy).

But your points are 100 percent exto-mundo on the button. No argument from me at all.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

I never had more than a 3 minute convo with a woman without knowing if she had romantic interest! I don't waste time - either it is "yay" or "Nay"!!

Westcoaster, as an older (uh-hum) 'mature" man you need to be much more direct - it saves alot of time and energy! Women know right away if there is a hint of interest on their part - a week, a month, a year doesn't change the equation - for the most part in most circumstances, with most women.