This Times For Real
Don Juan
For the past 2 years I have been coming to this site, and each time I have vowed to improve myself in every way and become a donjuan and be "The man". Anyway, I never really fit in much anywhere. You see I'm not exactly the Shy kid because I try to be social, I like game and computers, but I'm not really a geek because I don't show it and I don't want to be seen with a bunch of computer nerds. I was never popular of course becuase I never had enough confidence. So I don't exactly fit in with the normal personality and mind sets I suppose you might say.
Anyway//
The beginning was for the main purpose of getting a girl named Adina to like me, which was my major oneitis. Over a period of time, Im not entirely sure if i built up attraction or not, but I eventually stopped to lose weight for the second round of 8 th grade (I failed, not because I am entirely stupid, but because I skipped" So anyway I was really set on this donjuan ****, and I began to lose weight over the summer and into the new 8th grade year. I kept going through about half the year trying to lose weight, and succeeding slowly. My thoughts were to first lose weight, then i can begin really being the donjuan I wanted to be. So half way through the year my moms boyfriend married and moved in. A month of foing great in school and really starting to run 4 times a week and my Step dad started physically abusing my mom. This happened twice and the second time I called the police, my mom denied the entire thing. It came toa point that I had to move out and live with my sister in atlanta, because my mother had chosen her boyfriend over me, something I will never forget. Anyway I thought moving to atlants would be great because I ahd the whole " I am the man,**** those who dislike me, I like me and thats what counts." Attitude, but this entire donjuan thing just is not me. So over there where the population is 80% blacks in my school, me along with amny others where treated badly by our black peers for being of diffrent colored skin. It was pretty bad. but I managed to avoid fighting, and I had 0 friends ofcourse and did nothing. Finally I made it out of there and we where heading back to FL except this time to live in Miami. Once again the Donjuan thing sparked up and I resumed my track down the path to donjuanism. I lost alot of weight while I was there and was feeling pretty confident that everything would work out again. Upon my arrival I kept trying to improve myself but self determination was deteriorating slowly and it was never to strong to begin with.
Pics from then..
I started my high school year not to long ago in august. I began that year with the strongest and most amount of confidence I ever had and I felt damn good. My first day I in fact got a number. But my confidence was not to last even a week, by the 2nd day I was losing it once again, faced with reality. My personality did not fit in with the dj thing once again. I started doubting myself again because I was still over weight, had glasses, and I just didn't like who I was. That week and perhaps 2nd week were the most djism I have ever experienced. Further into the year my djism effects completely deteriorated. I was self loathing once again. Anyway I met this kid whilst I was still in my first week or so that was from brooklyn and was new too. I actually talked to quite a few people in the begining, to bad I didn't beleive in myself more. Anyway, he like to smoke weed and we were talkinga bout it, and at the time I still was pretty against it. But one day I just decided what the hell, doing a little can't hurt to see what it would be like. So from that day on for teh enxt 1 and half months we smoked weed every weekend. I started meeting some of the "bad gangster kids" around my neighborhood. Mainly because I smoked weed and because I dressed lghetto style which did not match my personality at all and I looked completely ridiculous in. So anyway at this point my rep in school was on a down hill path with people seeing right through my ghetto "disguise" and hating on me for it. Alot. Anyway I smoked a few times with the kdis in my neighbborhood. And one day when we got really high with this kid, I realized something about myself. As usual we where messin around and this kid slapped me and i said that id beat his ass blah blah ghetto talk. This kid saw right through me and he really ****ing hated me. He kept convincing the other kid to jump me behind my back and dissing me alot. He snuffed me a few times and ofcourse I didn't do ****, Anyway I managed to paly it off like I didnt get what was happening because we were all pretty high. Later I also realized that my "FRIEND" took the rest of my 15$ or so taht i was going to buy weed with and also took my part of the weed. That was the last I ever saw of him.
Here are pictures of that time
http://www.angelfire.com/ab8/omgtehomg
and a post from around then
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=59315
My mom came back from turkey because we had to move again. Adn my grades where going horrible throughout this time and I skipped alot again. My mom decided to put me in boot camp or whatever but I managed to convince her otherwise, because she was wrong and my sisters new it, but honestly I was possibly just as wrong for skipping and smoking weed and not getting good grades and not listening etc. Some time along this entire path from the august part, I had started to explore ways to develop myself spiritually. I really got into learning how to raise my energy via the NEW system on astraldynamics.com and i bought a book on it. I Learned the true nature of our universe, where everyone comes from. I learned about The one or the god, and I learned the truths about the government and all the false religions we are lead to beleive in. I learned about the serperate dimensions, and the energies that are in our reality. I learned about karma, and i learned of my higher self. I began meditating and I began trying to have out of body experiences. Now that I am awake to truth of the world, our reality, I do not want to go back to the way I use to think. I'm glad I found a new life, but tahts not the point of this. Anyway back to the failing. I quit school because I was suppose to go to that boot camp but didn't right? So I am not currently not in school and am basically a drop out. I plan to resume this pointless education to acquire my high school diploma for my mom. I live now near miami with my grandma. No 1 knows Im here yet, and Im not sure I plan on meeting more people, buy I still want to lose weifht and possibly use my dj skills, but I know that I cannot bring myself to do so so easily. So this is how i failed at being a donjuan and high school. Maybe it could happen to others, but I'm really diffrent from most people. Not because of the spiritual aspects of my life, but personality wise. Whatever reason my spirit decided to live out this life, I hope its a good one.
Guess there isn't much point to this, but That you dont allow yourself to be like me, making excuses never achieving my goals. Don't be like me.
Sorry if this is a dumb post but I have been up for 19 hours now and I jsut wanted to share my story becuase I have been here quite a while. This just goes to show how sad the lives may be of the people who come here. If anyone is intrested my other name on here is heteropedro.
Bye all, and good luck with your djism and high school.
Anyway//
The beginning was for the main purpose of getting a girl named Adina to like me, which was my major oneitis. Over a period of time, Im not entirely sure if i built up attraction or not, but I eventually stopped to lose weight for the second round of 8 th grade (I failed, not because I am entirely stupid, but because I skipped" So anyway I was really set on this donjuan ****, and I began to lose weight over the summer and into the new 8th grade year. I kept going through about half the year trying to lose weight, and succeeding slowly. My thoughts were to first lose weight, then i can begin really being the donjuan I wanted to be. So half way through the year my moms boyfriend married and moved in. A month of foing great in school and really starting to run 4 times a week and my Step dad started physically abusing my mom. This happened twice and the second time I called the police, my mom denied the entire thing. It came toa point that I had to move out and live with my sister in atlanta, because my mother had chosen her boyfriend over me, something I will never forget. Anyway I thought moving to atlants would be great because I ahd the whole " I am the man,**** those who dislike me, I like me and thats what counts." Attitude, but this entire donjuan thing just is not me. So over there where the population is 80% blacks in my school, me along with amny others where treated badly by our black peers for being of diffrent colored skin. It was pretty bad. but I managed to avoid fighting, and I had 0 friends ofcourse and did nothing. Finally I made it out of there and we where heading back to FL except this time to live in Miami. Once again the Donjuan thing sparked up and I resumed my track down the path to donjuanism. I lost alot of weight while I was there and was feeling pretty confident that everything would work out again. Upon my arrival I kept trying to improve myself but self determination was deteriorating slowly and it was never to strong to begin with.
Pics from then..
I started my high school year not to long ago in august. I began that year with the strongest and most amount of confidence I ever had and I felt damn good. My first day I in fact got a number. But my confidence was not to last even a week, by the 2nd day I was losing it once again, faced with reality. My personality did not fit in with the dj thing once again. I started doubting myself again because I was still over weight, had glasses, and I just didn't like who I was. That week and perhaps 2nd week were the most djism I have ever experienced. Further into the year my djism effects completely deteriorated. I was self loathing once again. Anyway I met this kid whilst I was still in my first week or so that was from brooklyn and was new too. I actually talked to quite a few people in the begining, to bad I didn't beleive in myself more. Anyway, he like to smoke weed and we were talkinga bout it, and at the time I still was pretty against it. But one day I just decided what the hell, doing a little can't hurt to see what it would be like. So from that day on for teh enxt 1 and half months we smoked weed every weekend. I started meeting some of the "bad gangster kids" around my neighborhood. Mainly because I smoked weed and because I dressed lghetto style which did not match my personality at all and I looked completely ridiculous in. So anyway at this point my rep in school was on a down hill path with people seeing right through my ghetto "disguise" and hating on me for it. Alot. Anyway I smoked a few times with the kdis in my neighbborhood. And one day when we got really high with this kid, I realized something about myself. As usual we where messin around and this kid slapped me and i said that id beat his ass blah blah ghetto talk. This kid saw right through me and he really ****ing hated me. He kept convincing the other kid to jump me behind my back and dissing me alot. He snuffed me a few times and ofcourse I didn't do ****, Anyway I managed to paly it off like I didnt get what was happening because we were all pretty high. Later I also realized that my "FRIEND" took the rest of my 15$ or so taht i was going to buy weed with and also took my part of the weed. That was the last I ever saw of him.
Here are pictures of that time
http://www.angelfire.com/ab8/omgtehomg
and a post from around then
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=59315
My mom came back from turkey because we had to move again. Adn my grades where going horrible throughout this time and I skipped alot again. My mom decided to put me in boot camp or whatever but I managed to convince her otherwise, because she was wrong and my sisters new it, but honestly I was possibly just as wrong for skipping and smoking weed and not getting good grades and not listening etc. Some time along this entire path from the august part, I had started to explore ways to develop myself spiritually. I really got into learning how to raise my energy via the NEW system on astraldynamics.com and i bought a book on it. I Learned the true nature of our universe, where everyone comes from. I learned about The one or the god, and I learned the truths about the government and all the false religions we are lead to beleive in. I learned about the serperate dimensions, and the energies that are in our reality. I learned about karma, and i learned of my higher self. I began meditating and I began trying to have out of body experiences. Now that I am awake to truth of the world, our reality, I do not want to go back to the way I use to think. I'm glad I found a new life, but tahts not the point of this. Anyway back to the failing. I quit school because I was suppose to go to that boot camp but didn't right? So I am not currently not in school and am basically a drop out. I plan to resume this pointless education to acquire my high school diploma for my mom. I live now near miami with my grandma. No 1 knows Im here yet, and Im not sure I plan on meeting more people, buy I still want to lose weifht and possibly use my dj skills, but I know that I cannot bring myself to do so so easily. So this is how i failed at being a donjuan and high school. Maybe it could happen to others, but I'm really diffrent from most people. Not because of the spiritual aspects of my life, but personality wise. Whatever reason my spirit decided to live out this life, I hope its a good one.
Guess there isn't much point to this, but That you dont allow yourself to be like me, making excuses never achieving my goals. Don't be like me.
Sorry if this is a dumb post but I have been up for 19 hours now and I jsut wanted to share my story becuase I have been here quite a while. This just goes to show how sad the lives may be of the people who come here. If anyone is intrested my other name on here is heteropedro.
Bye all, and good luck with your djism and high school.