I dunno WTF, give me your opinions...

[SgtSplacker]

Been dating this girl for about one month, she has her fair share of neurosis... a little more actually. Well we chat about sex all the time and fantasize about each other together. After some rather hot chatting during the day I go to her house at night. Shes got the couch and love seat setup. I sit on the big couch and she takes the small so basically we just dont touch that often. Mind you this girl tells me she is crazy about me, etc, etc yet I sit alone. I reach over and try to make contact but honestly it feels retarded and I do loose interest. It gets late and she just goes to her bed and lays down, shes done this to me before and i've learned she just wants me to follow her in there. So I do and I kinda start rubbing the rump and i'm really not getting any reaction from her. So I figure shes just not horny, one thing about me is that I don't like to be the only horny person in the room. I'll initiate affection, start kissing and touching her body but if i'm not getting any feedback i'll stop and go to sleep or something. So she asks me "are you going to sleep? turn out the candle then" OK mental note candle is a sex beacon. I turn out the candle begin my animal like courtship prior to penetration and once again not really getting a response. I just dont get turned on by someone just lying there like they are sleeping. So I go back to my side of the bed and just lay down. Then she says "OK just being straight up didn't you say you were going to eat me out in such and such a way like we were chatting?" I get up take off her clothes and we bang for an hour before falling asleep performing all of the acts that had us so hot and bothered during the day, awesome...

Now i'm thinking I just need to get to know her better, but her somewhat distant/cold approach to sex is worrying/confusing me. Honestly I don't know what to think about it. I feel a definite incompatibility here. I just don't know if this is something I should try and deal with or if I should maybe try to show her how I like things done. Don't get me wrong I have no problem just having her as a **** buddy and i'm not going to stop sleeping with her, but I think were about a little more than that. Guess i'm just looking for a little insight regarding my situation, maybe i'm missing something obvious here? Only known each other a month so it's ok for sex to be a little awkward at first right? I just feel that if she would have sat with me that things would have progressed much more naturally (for me at least). Maybe she just feels she has to do it with me? More like a task so I don't leave her? Maybe she really doesnt like me as much as she says? I mean wouldnt you want to sit with someone you like? Shes a stunningly beautiful woman but she has some insecurities prolly because her hips are a little wide (i love the booty), maybe self conscious?

 

[Solomon]

ERM, some girls are just lazy mate, I had a chick like that best VAG in the world and ass but she didn't wanna ride didn't wanna do ISH.

Girls like that you just bang and nothing more

Thread closed

 

[Die Hard]

Funny!! I'm experiencing the exact same thing with the girl I'm seeing.

 

[squirrels]

Been there before. Some girls will not initiate anything...but they will let the guy do whatever he wants and will even take instruction if the guy takes charge.

As long as she is not resisting (not telling you "no/stop" or resisting, i.e. keeping her legs together, etc), it's your job as the male to escalate.

Sooner or later, most of them will switch gears and start to reciprocate. If not, then just do what you can, and if that kind of sexual interaction is "boring" to you, then write her off and keep looking for other girls.

I swear, I've had girls over before who just laid there watching TV with me, and didn't recpirocate at all, I practically undressed her and was straddling her and rolling the condom on before I actually saw her crack a smile. Too bad the sex sucked because I hadn't jerked off in a while and didn't last long.

If there's all kinds of sexual talk before the date and then she lets you into bed with her, she's DTF until she explicitly states otherwise.

 

[SgtSplacker]

I chatted with her on messenger a bit today about this. And she basically told me that she likes to be pursued. Guess shes not too big on foreplay. It's going to be tricky because she doenst like to be touched too much or maybe shes just playing hard to get? LOL It's a doozie. Squirrelz I think your right she was all like "you just do what you want" so it's all good. I don't mind telling her what I want. She invited me over for dinner tonight at her crib. So well see how that goes with my new commander mentality. Think i'll start off with a BJ.. LOL!

 

[scrouds]

latina?

 

[SgtSplacker]

Cuban

 

[scrouds]

Yup sounded like it. You're encountering a culture clash. Our current culture expects women to ***** it up in bed, and its disconcerting when the expected does not happen. In the varying latin american cultures, women are expected to be reserved in bed, and the men are trained to be more aggressive and more in control of the relationship. My guess would be born in cuba, immigrated to the US at a youngish age.

Prognosis: Find your inner dominant man and let it loose. She wants it. She needs it. Absent red flags, she'll be more likely to be loyal and follow your leadership. That does a man good. Enjoy it, and don't worry.

 

[Die Hard]

Personally, I like to feel 'wanted', don't you guys?

I like to see her desire for me. Sure, it's cool that I have to initiate more than her, but she has to take some initiative as well man! I mean, wtf? If a girl only gets physical with me when I initiate it, that annoys me. Just a small example: You're sitting on the couch, she goes get a drink, then when she comes back, she sits down on your lap. I like that! But some girls only come sit on your lap if you ask/tell them to, how fukkin boring is that? You can substitute the lap-sitting with all kinds of other physical interaction... It's simply nice to have her inititate physical interaction as well.

The chick I'm currently seeing has this problem as well. I actually tested her on it, lol. She sits next to me on the couch, quite some distance between us. I sit there talking to her for AGES and she doesn't come closer. She doesn't even 'probe' me for it (like switching her eyes to other parts of my body and returning them back towards my face). If I don't initiate, she will just sit there and keep talking to me for hours... But when I do initiate, she does like it and eagerly goes along with it. WTF? If you want it, then why don't you pursue it, b!tch?

I feel I could meet up with her and start pulling off her clothes the minute we're inside the house, without her objection. But what fun would that be? You're supposed to build up the tension... You start out talking about trivial sh!t, then you start making jokes and teasing each other more and more, you create a playful mood together, through the interaction between the TWO OF YOU. It's a two way street, you do it TOGETHER. You raise the tension together, through the conversations, through building up kino etc. Eventually you start making out and fvck. This whole process is a two way street. Sure, the man is the leader and the woman is the follower, but it's not like the man is active and the woman is passive, you know. Both should be active, although the man can be more active, being the dominant one, being the leader. But it can't be 90% his responsibility and 10% her responsibility, that's just no fun! You might as well have a remote controlled woman, who only acts when you push a button on the controller. Wow, what fun is that?! There needs to be a decent amount of autonomous action from her side, otherwise there is no tension, no nothing, it's just boring. What good is a woman who acts like a robot that only follows orders? Sure, it's nice to be in total control of a woman, but it's actually her autonomous actions that make interacting with her enjoying.

It's like playing an online first person shooter game and using cheats. What fun is it to just click your mouse and automatically kill all your enemies without even ahving to aim? A game is only fun when it's dynamic, the same goes for playing 'the game of attraction' with a woman.

 

[grayclif]

Cuban

I go to cuba and everyone I have ever had an interest in is DTF, LOL!!!

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Sarge,
She has lost a lot of whatever interest she ever had,sounds like a boring and frustrating time,don't be so available,it's obvious her drive is not up to yours,so if you don't get fed adequately at one Diner,then fill up next door....cutting down your expectations may make the interfaces you do have more satisfactory,particularly if you see her less than she would want,if she makes the connection between your needs and hers then only good can result....on the other hand she may just lose interest even more....either way you get to know what her needs really are..It is for you to judge your compatibility.

 

[SgtSplacker]

Squirrels: You nailed it. Went over there last night was a little more dominant and she loved it. She tried to pull that sitting by herself crap, I told her I wanted to sit with her, she smiled and came right into my arms.

Die Hard: My sentiments exactly. I hate being the only one initiating things. Thats exactly how things were last night, she was totally cold until I told her I wanted to sit with her then it was all smiles, the conversation got better and we didnt get up until it was time to sleep, well let me not say sleep rather migrate to the bedroom. The whole night really opened up when I sat with her and didnt accept the dunce corner thing that happened the last time. Honestly, until then I was having my doubts about the whole relationship. Now I feel this is something I can enjoy.

I thank all of you for your opinions.