I don't want to hit on women unless every part of my life is completely perfect

[bigdave17]

I'm obsessed with perfectionism. I feel like I have no chance at attracting a girl unless i'm as perfect as humanly possible meaning

- maximizing my looks all the way (i'm like a 7-8/10 in real life, I'm getting surgery to fix my hair in 3 weeks as I have a thinning patch in the crown. I'm also the skinniest right now I've ever been at 5'10 193. I am getting close to that GQ model look I want instead of the bulky football player look). I feel that I need to be completely looks maxed to have a chance - I need to have perfect hair, 7 or 8% bodyfat, big bulging muscles, the nicest clothes ever and obviously a very good looking face to get a girlfriend (thankfully I was born with decent genetics in the face).

- maximizing income all the way. This is a problem for me right now - I am making fantastic money at work but I keep running into problems with my management. I'm worried I may be let go over nonsense in the next 2-5 months. I can still easily find a job in my industry but I'm worried I may not make the same money I make now (I'm on track to make 190K this year). I feel that I need to make 190K with rock solid job security to feel like I have a chance with a decent woman

- need to have perfect social circle, the best lifestyle, etc.... etc... etc...

What causes me to feel like this? Why do I feel like I have no chance with a decent woman unless I'm impossibly perfect? Why have I made dating so hard and women's standards so impossible in my head?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I'm obsessed with perfectionism. I feel like I have no chance at attracting a girl unless i'm as perfect as humanly possible meaning

- maximizing my looks all the way (i'm like a 7-8/10 in real life, I'm getting surgery to fix my hair in 3 weeks as I have a thinning patch in the crown. I'm also the skinniest right now I've ever been at 5'10 193. I am getting close to that GQ model look I want instead of the bulky football player look)

- maximizing income all the way. This is a problem for me right now - I am making fantastic money at work but I keep running into problems with my management. I'm worried I may let go over nonsense in the next 2-5 months. I can still easily find a job in my industry but I'm worried I may not make the same money I make now (I'm on track to make 190K this year). I feel that I need to make 190K with rock solid job security to feel like I have a chance with a decent woman

- need to have perfect social circle, the best lifestyle, etc.... etc... etc...

What causes me to feel like this? Why do I feel like I have no chance with a decent woman unless I'm impossibly perfect? Why have I made dating so hard and women's standards so impossible in my head?

Your being retarded .

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Why do you think you need to be perfect for someone whose not perfect?

 

[MrWood]

I don't want to hit on women unless every part of my life is completely perfect

then don't

 

[RedScorpion]

Sounds like you know the issue. Time to knock off the perfectionism a bit - otherwise you're going to be 80 years old, lamenting that your body isn't perfect enough now.

 

[sosousage]

i dont wanna be rude but this thread is so sad.

 

[sosousage]

Low self esteem and paradoxically NPD obviously

he seems annoying... imagine if he was saying all this pointless self centered low self esteem stuff to girls no wonder he cant get anything decent

just like @RichardTheFrog made 300 threads about strip clubs and house flipping+his future lamborgini same bigdave goes and creates 300 threads about whats happening in his mind and how ethnics people have it hard

 

[ohrein]

bigdave17's greatest hits! Seriously, mate. You shouldn't ask why you've made it this hard because there is no logic to it. You already know that you've made it this hard, so stop making it this hard. Your thinking does not match reality and there's nothing anyone here can do for you to alleviate that. You must actively stop thinking the way you do.

https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/conditionsandtreatments/cognitive-behaviour-therapy

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

Perfection is death. Literally... if you look at the etymology of the word. Per -through fectio - finish.

Rethink yourself!

 

[CBear]

God dammit I believed you'd be a success story but the sad truth is that some people are hopeless and with each thread you make (which is the EXACT same one as the last 1,000 & that's the worst part.), it seems more likely that you're using this forum as your therapy instead of seeking actual professional help.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Dude your acting like you have a disorder . Even your thought of needing to be perfect for a flesh and blood female are unattractive. I gave you the key . Call us when you slay 20 babes over the next three months. You already look more than good enough.

 

[sazc]

Dave, this od some really good insight.

Take this insight to a licensed therapist before you waste more time blocking yourself from finding a good woman/dating.

You've got some stuff to figure out, we all do. You are lucky in that you have done some self introspection and know what's stopping you. Go get help NOW to figure out how to get over the hurdle. Stop wasting time.

 

[AlphaArtist]

In a way i can relate to you as I myself have been overweight for quite some time, and only when recently it hit me how i really look and how things really is, that i became so dedicated to losing weight that I don't feel much like going out there after girls until i reach my really committed fitness goal.

But i am not rigid on your level, i still went out on a date a friend fixed me with. I been having some fun and traveling around the world so I can take a break to focus on fitness and get back out there feeling better about myself.

I'll probably loosen more to be out there when i get more fit, but i won't strictly just wait till i'm defined with 6 pack abs to be active again. Definitely try and loosen yourself with your perfectionism, sounds like you are not in such a bad situation especially with the money you make.

But yeah i can understand you, I myself lost some hair on the frontside a little and went on to get a transplant to have grafts there and i'm really happy with the result while i can say it's my real hair and it looks completely natural.

 

[Reykhel]

"In nooks all over the earth sit men who are waiting, scarcely knowing in what way they are waiting, much less that they are waiting in vain. Occasionally the call that awakens-that accident which gives 'permission to act - comes too late, when the best youth and strenght for action has already been used up by sitting still; and many have found to their horror when they 'leaped up' that their limbs had gone to sleep and their spirits had become too heavy. 'It's too late' they said to themselves, having lost their faith in themselves and henceforth forever useless."
Friedrich Nietzsche