i don't like the 'other' people (little bit of a rant)

[bukowski_merit]

just an issue i've been dealing with, with both pick-ups and ltr's....

one-on-one - i feel i can get to any women; in fact - my fail rate when i decide to pursue is very low. i let the charisma out of the bottle and let her drink that sh!t.

but it's when we get around other people... like other people talking to me (men or women) who i am not real good friends with or who i am not interested in gaming. i don't like these people around me, they bore me, i don't want to put any effort into them. when i'm doing one-on-one - the conversation is interesting because i'm controlling it and i'm vibing with the target. but i just shut down when i'm around people who i want nothing to do with.

this can be a problem when the girl wants to bring me around other people. the guy who makes her laugh every second and who makes her feel 100 different things at once - suddenly turns into a silent boring guy. and her friends are looking at her like 'what do you see in this guy?'

for one-nighters this isn't really an issue. for women i'm pursuing for sex - this is only sometimes an issue. but for women i'm in ltr's with - this is always an issue. i've made it a point now to explain to potential ltr's that i'm not into most people (i always explain it like they're lucky that i'm talking to them, but i also do this to set them up for when they bring me around for a meet and greet fest). i stole a line from the movie barfly that i tell women all the time, "i don't hate most people. i just feel better when they're not around".

at first - they seem to love the loner mentality (lots of laying around, cuddling, f@cking). but 6 months into the relationship, they start with the 'don't you like my family? why don't you come with me when i visit them?' or 'don't you like my friends? everytime we go over their houses you just sit there and don't talk to anyone'. and really i don't have a problem with them, i'm just not interested in them or what they have to say. but this is becoming a huge problem as i'm aging and am feeling the need to settle down and stop with the sexual madness.

so what the hell should i do?
learn to fake like i like being around the people they have in their life?
qualify my potential ltr's better? condition them better to know what's ahead?
nothing at all?

 

[Gangster Of Love]

Yeah, you sound like a total A$shole!

J/k man. I totally feel you there. I've always been like that, yet have had to get a little better at becoming more social, and not just be rude and snap at the many mental midgets I have to deal with when dating someone.

I, by nauture, am a loner type, sure I love people and working with them, but I need a lot of "alone time" and preffer not to bother with some of these dopes. I get easily annoyed, and sometimes snap too easy when dealing with too many idiots in a short amount of time.

You gotta work on it. Don't become anger and bitter as you grow into old age. You know, the old man with no sense of humor who kids make fun of and throw $hit at his house.

 

[bukowski_merit]

Yeah, you sound like a total A$shole!

J/k man. I totally feel you there. I've always been like that, yet have had to get a little better at becoming more social, and not just be rude and snap at the many mental midgets I have to deal with when dating someone.

I, by nauture, am a loner type, sure I love people and working with them, but I need a lot of "alone time" and preffer not to bother with some of these dopes. I get easily annoyed, and sometimes snap too easy when dealing with too many idiots in a short amount of time.

You gotta work on it. Don't become anger and bitter as you grow into old age. You know, the old man with no sense of humor who kids make fun of and throw $hit at his house.

good to see that i'm not alone.

i'm not angry or bitter... i've lived a life so far that most guys probably want...
but i'm looking more into ltr's now and feel this is my biggest problem with them...

i'm really bad at faking stuff like this, but i suppose if i fake it long enough i might find something about someone to interest me further? hopefully... i'm thinking about all this because i have a potential ltr girl right now, and i've been setting her up for the loner mentality, and she keeps saying she's cool with it and that she's grown out of needing to do a lot of stuff. but she's only 22, so i know 6 months in - we're going to have issues about it, so i'm thinking about trying something new this time and accepting her family and friends as i do my own. gonna take work though

maybe i should just find a girl with no friends or family haha....yeah

 

[Gangster Of Love]

Yes, maybe you should date a hermit.

The way I frame it is by telling them about it.

"You know, I love people and have two jobs working with people all day. Really passionate about it. Yet when the weekend comes, I need to get in my share of alone time, just me, and if there is someone in my life, in order to clear my mind and focus on what means the most to me."

If you set it right, she will totally understand, and usually will say "Yeah, me too", etc. Tell her how you "like to keep a small social circle. Not huge, but tight and made of quality people." Works every time.

Also makes you come across as non-needy and very different to most of the guys who go after girls with an attitude of wanting to own and take up all their time. It is usually the women who have to create some space away from the needy guys.

Yes, I suggest you give people some kind of a chance. Maybe she can help you out by warning you who's an idiot and who's cool, etc. Maybe everyother weekend do something with her and some of her friends, the rest spend time with her.