I don't Know What To Do!!

[DJ36]

Hi Guys,
I am in a real confused situation at the moment about this girl that works in the same company as me.

The problem is that I have received certain signals but I still don't think that they are positive enough to make the move and ask her out. I am not the most extrovert of people I must admit and I really fear screwing everything up and Making a complete fool of myself.

Another major problem is that I don't know whether she is in a relationship or not, the people I talk to and trust at work don't really know anything about her background and the people I am unsure of are more familiar with her so I can't really sound them out about her details for fear of it getting back to the wrong people.

This is really beginning to affect me and I am becoming stuck on a treadmill of do I take the plunge or not?

I would be very grateful if anyone could give me real advice on this

 

[GotED?]

Welcome to the board - start off by reading the DJ bible to save us lots of repetitive typing.

Next, you haven't really explained your situation in any certain degree of details, we can not help you at all. It is just all assumptions in the end if you don't tell us HOW, WHEN, WHAT.

You sound like a Romeo in AFC-ville (Average Frustrated Chump) and getting Oneitis without even the girl knowing you exist yet in this planet.

Take the time to tell us about you, and we will take the time to help you better.

Be well.

Exodus

 

[Sofomore]

Bro go NC on the HB4. Neg her 45 times and run the cube 4 times.

Works 60% of the time, every time.

 

[DJ36]

So for being vague

Sorry Guys for being so vague about the topic, My name is Dave and to be honest I am not really all that successful with women as I am quite a shy character and I have thoughts of whether I am good enough to ask someone out.

I've noticed that a few times when I am at work this girl always seems to look at me, today She followed me out of one room into another and passed by a few times quietly singing under her breath.

Other instances are that she always seems to be there or in the vicinity when I come back from taking my work break, or she comes out of a room and turns and glances at me without saying anything.

Another instance is that I have seen her talking to another of her female colleagues and she breaks the conversation and looks at me for a few seconds.

The issue is that I haven't worked at this place long and I don't really know the people there enough to ask whther she is in a relationship or not. The people I do know are not really that familiar with her.

I must admit guys I am terrible at interpreting signals and I am really nervous about making a bad decision that could make my her life and my life a misery.

 

[GotED?]

Hi Dave (no need for real names here by the way, but thanks LOL)

What you described could ALL BE CIRCUMSTANCIAL (made up in your head) and you could be reading it all wrong.

A woman who is showing INTEREST will usually put some effort into getting you to notice her (though it will be VERY subtle as women are cowards LOL). Such signs are:

* she smiles at you SPECIFICALLY (not you walk into her face when she is smiling to someone else already)
* she touches you ANYWHERE (a light touch on your arm while she's making a point while talking to you are laughing, etc)
* she talks to you SPECIFICALLY (non-work related usually but if she places herself close to you deliberately then that is a sign)
* she keeps RUNNING INTO YOU

Now you have to be realistic about what you are seeing from her, as we don't have a clue if you are exaggerating or understating.

Next thing, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IF SHE IS SINGLE OR NOT OR HAS A BOYFRIEND.

This is a part of becoming a DJ - you have to put away the excuses that strikes the fear of rejection deep inside of you such as "Oh... what IF... she has a boyfriend...". These are mental excuses our ego makes up to protect us from DOING ANYTHING with women in order to stay safe (and single).

So you have some homework to do: Is she giving you signs of interest?

Why don't you strike up a conversation and test the water?? COMPLIMENT on something unique she is wearing next time (necklace, ring, shoes, purse, whatever). See if she sticks around AND ASKS YOU QUESTIONS in return about yourself. Do this a few time and you will lessen the risk of rejection by doing more fact finding and ascertain what her interest level is.

(Oh yeah, don't forget to SMILE when you talk to her... that helps to prevent her from creeping out LOL)


Be well.

Exodus

 

[pabloDJ]

Why do you want to date a girl from work? I read here many times not to do that..

 

[DJ36]

Thanks for the response guys, The truth is I am being held back by the situation of it being at work, if it was in a more social setting i.e a bar or somewhere else I would feel more confident towards making the first move.

Out of the signs that you mentioned GotEd, the one that seems to be most obvious is that she does always seem to run into me at the most unexpected times, i.e when I am coming back from work break 85% of the time she seems to appear. Alot of other people work in this place and I dont run into them like I run into her.

Like you said I have got some research to do