I don't ever get angry anymore

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

So today during a tournament, one of my friends asked me "why don't you ever het angry?" And I was puzzled so I asked him what he meant. "Those guys were playing really dirty and you just didn't care or get mad at all". I thought about this for a little bit because it really struck a cord in me: when I was younger, I used to be angry all the time, hypersensitive to people to where no one could joke around with me, and was just a huge hothead. Whenever I wasnt angry, I could will myself to become mad. I can't do that anymore and now it's like no one can anger me except people in my family occasionally or if someone messes with my little brother or dad.

I don't know what's going on with me, but a lot of my emotions have been dulled out and suppressed for a very long time. Like despite being on here, I have never really had a girl break my heart even when I know it should have, even from a oneitis before I found out about this place. Anger was the last emotion to be dulled out I guess.

A lot of you may say that it's not good to be pissed off all the time, but anger is the best motivator. I didn't let it eat me up inside, instead I focused it and directed it towards something positive and got a a lot of stuff done. It wasn't as effective as I got older so maybe it did tire out my body or mind a bit but still, now I feel that if I ever let someone get to me, then I will probably either become so infuriated that I kill them or nearly do, or that I will become completely cold and calculating coming up with ways to ruin their life and negatively impact it, at least temporarily.

What exactly is going on? I feel like I could have played better today if I was able to psych myself up and get mad or do SOMETHING. But I couldn't.

I apologize for this thing being long but I have one more thing to ask:

I don't feel awake or clear or lucid ever anymore like how I used to when I was a child. I remember my sister was arguing with my mom at around midnight and I was trying to go to sleep and because they were arguing for over an hour, I freaked out and started yelling at them like I was going crazy. I went to the bathroom to wash my face and I looked at the counter and felt AWAKE and ALIVE for the first time in years. I noticed every little detail on the counter and everything surrounding it. I was thinking clearly for the first time in years despite the time, I felt much stronger and more powerful too. But I was only like that for about a minute or 2 and then that feeling went away. It must have been adrenaline that dod that to me, but still, why am I not able to be that enhanced all the time?

 

[Reykhel]

Kid, when I was your age there was two things that went on .....chaos and violence....
I care fore fore you kid.....

sorry was going to write you apply.....now my b¡tch of ab¡tch has disturbed me

 

[Julian]

Anger is a crazy good motivator. Made some good gym gains during dark times in my life. Also, your getting older. Its natural to become wiser through your experience. Realizing that getting mad over every thing is giving people supreme power and control over you which is NOT a good thing. Its good to pick your battles, especially when you are in the RIGHT. Also you might just be living a boring life..if breaking up an argument between your mom an sister made you feel like you climbed everest maybe you should switch things up and do things everyday that challenge you. .

 

[phillies]

You stopped caring

 

[Huffman]

You're starved for emotions man. Don't buy into the crap where people say only women are emotional and men are only logical. Your anger issues were just that, a roller coaster of emotion.

Find a new way to experience more emotions - you can make it anger but why not try out others. Find some stuff that you feel strongly about. See a girl that you really desire? See a travel ad that looks absolutely beautiful? Go there. Find out what gets you going and follow that.

No need to go thrashing mad all the time. Although you can easily do it if you listen to heavy metal

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Anger is a crazy good motivator. Made some good gym gains during dark times in my life. Also, your getting older. Its natural to become wiser through your experience. Realizing that getting mad over every thing is giving people supreme power and control over you which is NOT a good thing. Its good to pick your battles, especially when you are in the RIGHT. Also you might just be living a boring life..if breaking up an argument between your mom an sister made you feel like you climbed everest maybe you should switch things up and do things everyday that challenge you. .

Well waking me up from sleeping when I'm really tired sometimes leaves me in a sort of blackout angry state where my mother would tell me stuff I did that I didn't remember when she tried to wake me up. But yeah maybe my life has gotten a little bit boring. I don't think it is tbh, but maybe I just don't realize it.

The thing is though, whenever someone tries to start drama with me, I always say or do something that conpletely shuts it off, and I do it instinctually too, I don't consciously think about it. Drama is pretty much the only thing that can provide that emotional rollercoaster type of stuff and even then my senses would still be dulled if I didn't get out of it all the time (which is actually a good thing usually).