I don't even know how to explain what is weird about my socialization.

[RichardTheFrog]

There will be a room full of people, even could be family member, everyone else is talking to each other politely, being very cordial. They are interested in each other's conversation. I just sit there quiet, disinterested in the whole thing.

If I wasn't like this, I think it might be rather easy to get to know people. But I don't think it's anything I can change, and perhaps I'm not very interested in getting to know people, anyway.

Other people will talk more in a conservation than I do in a month.

And please don't say "just practice" because that's not the answer. It's more of a complete disinterest.

 

[sosousage]

Yeah you are the person that is usually recognized by creep by our subconscious state of mind (no offence) sitting at the end looking weirdly around the room. We dont even need to point it out verbally, your negative vibes are this obvious that they are picked on subconsciously.

I think theres always someone like that in each group. He doesnt need to be, as not all groups need to recognize someone as a creep to feel better about themselves, but its somehow very often bloody coincidence.

Even in bigger quality places, events and situations theres always someone quiet that people dont want to talk with. Usually its someone very low quality (not offending you).

There are times when people feel like they dont know what to do with themselves, and they dont want to look like a creep, so they choose between possible options (guys sitting together, one normal guy alone, and one creep alone) and they go to the normal guy to have a pleasant talk, get to know each other.

Then they will come back later and even with more people to you, thats how you become more and more important in a group.


So you just need to be interesting and positive passively. no biggie. Unless you hate your life. I had positive influence on my mood when I was doing gym, which procedeed to further positive feedback and more people liking (or tolerating) me. thats it.

 

[jaymbrs]

There will be a room full of people, even could be family member, everyone else is talking to each other politely, being very cordial. They are interested in each other's conversation. I just sit there quiet, disinterested in the whole thing.

If I wasn't like this, I think it might be rather easy to get to know people. But I don't think it's anything I can change, and perhaps I'm not very interested in getting to know people, anyway.

Other people will talk more in a conservation than I do in a month.

And please don't say "just practice" because that's not the answer. It's more of a complete disinterest.

You need to do stuff. Travel, get a hobby, play recreational sports, workout, join a bicycling meetup, attend sporting events. Something to make you feel like you're a part of something and will allow you to share your experiences with others.

 

[sazc]

you need to explore all of this in therapy with a genuine interest in understanding why you are this way and how to modify your behavior - but first you have to want to do this

 

[sosousage]

+ its pretty nearly impossible to change from creep to funny guy in a given group. they labeled u alrdy. start as interesting person in new group.

 

[RichardTheFrog]

You need to do stuff. Travel, get a hobby, play recreational sports, workout, join a bicycling meetup, attend sporting events. Something to make you feel like you're a part of something and will allow you to share your experiences with others.

I flip houses. I think I will have made $1 million within 4 years. That's a life, isn't it?

I don't really care to have a group of guy friends who watch the game.

 

[RichardTheFrog]

+ its pretty nearly impossible to change from creep to funny guy in a given group. they labeled u alrdy. start as interesting person in new group.

I never feel like a creep. And there is no specific group. I am just talking in general I don't have much interest in joining other people's groups or conversations.

I don't desire to be cool with other guys because I don't think they're my friends. It's every guy for themself and you are very naive if you don't know that by now.

 

[RichardTheFrog]

+ its pretty nearly impossible to change from creep to funny guy in a given group. they labeled u alrdy. start as interesting person in new group.

I never feel like a creep. And there is no specific group. I am just talking in general I don't have much interest in joining other people's groups or conversations.

I don't desire to be cool with other guys because I don't think they're my friends. It's every guy for themself and you are very naive if you don't know that by now.

 

[Who Dares Win]

I had the same problem and sometime still have, I believe the reasons are two.

The first one is that we dont have much to offer in terms of fitting in that environment harmony and the second one is that deep down we dont even give a genuine fvck to make an effort.

What works for me now is to find talkactive people and just let them talk while pretending I care, nodding and smiling are your insurance.

Its still less demanding than actually fitting or vibing to the group vibes while the benefits are the same.

While I dont necessarily disagree with other posters suggestions I believe they may be inaccurate cause they dont share our natural discomfort in social settings.

Let me guess, you find yourself much more at ease when you are supposed TO DO something or the group has a task to achieve? wheter is a group job or a group game?

 

[skinnyguy]

It’s too bad you don’t want guy friends. I have a few very good guy friends and we travel together. If you think you’re better than everyone else, you’ll never be happy. I’m guessing you were neglected when you were younger and don’t trust people. Adults who were really cared for when they were children have an easy time making friends and opening up to people.

Here’s a thought- why don’t you open up to people and tell them you’re struggling with women? They might have good advice. Since you work for yourself, it literally does not matter what other people think of you so if they judge you for it who cares.

 

[jaymbrs]

I flip houses. I think I will have made $1 million within 4 years. That's a life, isn't it?

I don't really care to have a group of guy friends who watch the game.

Your concern is about being unable to socialize. No one gives a **** about what you make, at least not in a social sense. You’re missing the point about getting out and socializing. And honestly, it sounds like you don’t want to. So asking for suggestions is a waste of everyone’s time.

 

[Spinach]

Just a question Richard, you constantly talk about flipping houses. How many have you successfully flipped to assume you will make a million in 4 years?