I cheated on my ex girlfriend. I need some advice

[Sniper1888]

It's been a month since she dumped. I was at a party with some friends and yeah I was pretty drunk. We starting playing a game of truth or dare, and time came for me to have a turn. I stupidly picked dare and I was dared to kiss another girl.. So I did and my drunk ass told her that I enjoyed it as well. This all happened during Christmas break. Well 3 weeks later, someone from that party told my girlfriend about what happened. As soon as she found out, she called me, and yeah there was not a very happy person on the other line... Why didn't i tell her? A) I didn't think what I did was bad, at the time. I now see it very differently. B) I just thought I could get away with it and never do something like that again.

During the phone call she pretty much told me to screw off and we are done. A week past and we both didn't say a word to one another, one night she texted me and said she missed me a lot, but she said that she didnt think we were meant to be. That hurt when she said that because she was my first true love and I screwed up really bad. She also said she will always have love for me since I was her first everything.

Another week past and rumors started going around that she was banding another dude, well I instantly became jealous and I questioned that guy about the rumors. Non of them where true and I felt very dumb for believing them. Anyways she found out that I was interrogating this guy and she flipped out on me saying, "Its non of your business on what I do anymore so please stay out of my business", well that is true, I shouldn't care about what she does anymore. But I love this girl a lot still.. And one week ago she missed me like crazy. Well the story gets better, another week past and the girl that told my girlfriend about what happened. Her and her boyfriend broke up, well that night I was drunk and thought it was a good idea to send a text message to her, all I said was "Karma". Next day I woke up in the hornets next. I had that girl texting me and my ex flipping out on me for what I did. Wasn't a wise choice by me...

It's been two weeks since that incident and about a month and few days since my ex dumped me. I'm 20 and I thought she was the one, I loved her so much, but I don't know why I cheated on her. We were each others first everything, from everything you can think of in the bedroom. We dated for 3 years.. My question to all of you is, is there a chance of her ever wanting me back, if not, how do i get over here and move on in my young life. Thank you everyone

 

[PlayerSupremo]

Is sad to see one of you young guys get dumped and then not even know what to do with yourselves. Here is a post from this site from long long ago. READ every WORD again and again until YOU truly get it.

I mean really GET IT. It's over. Okay.

====================================

When she says "Goodbye"
It breaks my heart everytime I see one of you guys post a "How do I get her back?" thread. The saddest thing is you probably didn't even do anything wrong. Let me tell you something that might help you move on. She ain't coming back. She's already made up her mind and cut the ties. It's not fair, it's not pretty, but the truth rarely is. Here's a few items that may help explain things.

Women think about their relationship 90% of the time.
Especially since we are told from the cradle that men don't understand a damn thing about love & relationships. We wonder where the relationship is going, where it is, where it was and about every possible direction it can go. She thinks about you as a potential husband, father, lover and will you dump her if she gets cancer. She'll question you IL ever second you're with her, and more so when you're not.

Women NEVER forget...never, never, ever!
You said something as a joke, she SAID she's fine with it and that should be your first warning. In "Woman-speak" the word FINE is defines like this F-furious I-inside N-never E-ending. She will be dragging crap up from thirty years ago to throw in your face now. (Does this mean walk on egg shells to prevent upsetting her? Hell no! But when she says she's "fine" with something and you suspect otherwise CALL HER ON IT. Tell her (don't ask, TELL HER): "So you're REALLY all right with this. You aren't pissed at me, and you aren't going to drag this up later. Is that right?." If she says yes, then don't tolerate her dragging up that item. She agreed she was fine with it and would move on from it.

Women don't like to hurt your feelings.
Really! We really don't like hurting you. That's why the "I think we should break up" line always hits you from out of left field. You never saw it coming, because she never mentioned two weeks ago that she was thinking about it. She didn't want to hurt your feelings. This is especially true if she thinks it wasn't your fault for the break up. (ie...she met some one else, she's having personal problems) This is also why we go to Car Shows (BORING!) and Monster Truck Rallys (LOUD and BORING) then tell you how much fun we had with a big grin!

When she says it's over, IT'S OVER.
By the time she decides it's over, it's over. She has thought up 197 reasons that you two shouldn't be together any more. She has cut the ties and made herself ready to move on. The only thing left to do is tell you. The more you hang on, stay in touch, & try to "win" her back the more fuel you give to her reasoning. The best thing you can do is kiss her on the nose and say: "Well Babe, it was fun while it lasted. Good luck!" and walk away. This doesn't mean she just didn't rip you heart out of your chest and stomp it to a greasy spot on the carpet. It just means that nothing else you can say will help the situation. Not pleading, not screaming and not threats. Don't call, don't write, don't e-mail, don't hire a 25 piece band to play her favorite song in her front yard. Walk away and let it go.
WaterTiger


=====================================

You can't cheat on an ex girlfriend. She is out there sucking other guys things and its NONE of your business as SHE explained to you.

AS watertiger pointed it it is sad to see one of you guys who's been dumped fumble around all pathetic and lost. I'm sorry your in pain. Eventually it will go away. WE have all been through this before and yes life does go on and you WILL look back and think "why did I even bother."

Now room for your real soul mate is open, now that the pretender is gone.

If she loved you she would not of left you in pain like this. YOU are the one who lost cause YOU fell in love first or believed her lies.

It's a good lesson for YOU for the future.

I hope you learn it and grow from it.

Good luck young fella.

 

[Sniper1888]

Wow, what an eye opener. All I can say is thank you for that, that made me feel a lot better about everything. There is so much more to life then to waste my time with a girl who doesn't care about me anymore. Yeah I had fun, but I'm going to go out and enjoy my twenties and find the real one.

 

[Sniper1888]

Very valid point Mauser. I never thought of that part of life like that, thank you

 

[Yewki]

That hurt when she said that because she was my first true love and I screwed up really bad.

This is all you had to say. Your screw up was thinking she was your "true love." If you had not made this mistake, you wouldn't be this bent out of shape. This post wouldn't exist. Your girl would have needed to get over what happened quickly, because it not you'd be out chasing other girls.

The "I miss you but we're not meant to be" is classic **** test speak for, "You're still there, right? Please feed my ego."

 

[Sniper1888]

Yeah right now I'm in no desire to go for another girl. At this point in time. I'm just trying to focus more on my degree and getting better grades. I know that was my biggest mistake by saying that. I fell for her pretty hard, not going to lie.