"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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I can't seem to prevent my vision from hiding the ugly ones i need a hotter chick ?

F

Final fantasy

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Day after day when I do decide to move out and buy from a store or whatever guess what. First, apparently a loud crying ghost gossiped about me because it thinks I'm attractive. But, logically speaking a ghost is very jealous, definitely not trust worthy. It's a pathetic dead soul how could it ever understand I don't wanna die and I definitely don't want an ugly partner. Anyway because of this fag as ghost the ugly tough one are usually out there when I plan to move so yup you can guess. A stalker is desperately trying to kill me. I could care less about any of this but I want the hotter girlfriend. When one ever appears how is it done? How will it be done? Do I start asking questions? I already had girlfriends before they all actually asked me out first so I really am just good looking I guess but I'm actually a heterosexual male and I don't think I'm lucky. I did lots of exercise, lots of vomiting and lots of good hygiene leading up to everything today. I'm confident enough to start a convo just not confident enough to compromise myself. If you are a wiz at dating please give good advice and tips and I'll be sure to say thank you thanks !

Also here's a photo of me:

http://i64.tinypic.com/15i59jr.jpg
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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