"I asked her why she married me, and she told me that I was a really good guy and I was financially successful, which was more important"

[MatureDJ]

My(37m) wife(39f) just kind of told me that I'm the guy who she settled for and admitted that she can't get over her ex. Not sure how to process this.

I'm on a throwaway because I'm really embarrassed.

We've been married for 3 years. I met my wife when I was 33. We dated for an year before getting married and we have 2yo twin girls now.

I was always an insecure guy. I'm bald( I lost most of my hair when I was 19) , I'm not that handsome and I didn't get to date much.When I was young, most of the women ghosted me after the first date. I never had a lasting relationship with anyone. I just stopped trying after that. The only thing going on for me is my business.

I met my wife at a gala event held by one of our clients. She was working in our PR. When I first saw her, I knew she was waay out of my league. But when I started interacting with her, I was really drawn to her. She was just amazing. Intelligent, career driven, and she didn't care how I looked. I really felt like she was the one. Weq dated for a while and got married after that. I felt like the luckiest guy.

She told me that she had many partners before and I was completely honest with her about my abysmal dating record. She told me that she was never in a long term relationship.

Last week, we were on a vacation to Italy. She insisted on going to Italy. She told me that she wanted to meet her friends. But after she returned, she started acting strangely. I felt like something was wrong. I asked her about it and she told me everything was fine. This went on for a few days and I decided to snoop. I saw her exchanging texts with one of her ex boyfriends. He actually works in Italy now and she was meeting up with him.

I confronted her and she told me that they were together for 11 years before they broke up. I was really shocked. I never knew anything about this guy. She told me that they had an amazing relationship and they broke up because he had to move away. She told me that they planned on getting married, but he was really bad with his finances and he had to move. She just wanted to talk to him and catch up with him. She promised that she wasn't cheating on me and told me that she'll be completely honest from now on.

I asked her why she married me, and she told me that I was a really good guy and I was financially successful, which was more important in a relationship.

I'm really depressed right now. I just realised that I never knew anything about her. I'm just looking for some advice about what to do here.

Any advice is welcome guys.

 

[Alvafe]

I don't understand this guy. He knew well that his wife is way out of his league and her past was full of c.ock.

Had had a bit of sex with her and has daughters with her. What else does he want?

Why do guys think that they are entitled to full plate of wonders when they go after cratered yet still high SMV females - its obvious that her SMV was higher than his SMV at some point and she just 'decided' to mate with him as decent beta-prospect.

That's what you get when you decide on something like that.

simple he hoped for "she loved him", with is was not the case, then reality hit him hard, possible his twins are not even his so.

she settled because he had money and was good, consider this people normally call you good when you are easy to control or manipulate, she knows he will not think about himself first.

you know you are doing something right when people start to curse you because you are not doing they wish

 

[corrector]

He has some money or he would not have her. He better not lose his job.

 

[gettinit]

The guy probably deluded himself into thinking it was a Julia Roberts, Lyle Lovette situation. Oh no, she wasn't cheating, she flew to Italy to tour the Eiffel Tower. You know... the little one.

 

[zekko]

The guy probably deluded himself into thinking it was a Julia Roberts, Lyle Lovette situation.

Isn't this the ultimate PUA fantasy? To get some chick that is several leagues above you?
That sounds good on the surface, but as you can see it comes with problems.

 

[death_wish. .]

My(37m) wife(39f) just kind of told me that I'm the guy who she settled for and admitted that she can't get over her ex. Not sure how to process this.

I'm on a throwaway because I'm really embarrassed.

We've been married for 3 years. I met my wife when I was 33. We dated for an year before getting married and we have 2yo twin girls now.

I was always an insecure guy. I'm bald( I lost most of my hair when I was 19) , I'm not that handsome and I didn't get to date much.When I was young, most of the women ghosted me after the first date. I never had a lasting relationship with anyone. I just stopped trying after that. The only thing going on for me is my business.

I met my wife at a gala event held by one of our clients. She was working in our PR. When I first saw her, I knew she was waay out of my league. But when I started interacting with her, I was really drawn to her. She was just amazing. Intelligent, career driven, and she didn't care how I looked. I really felt like she was the one. Weq dated for a while and got married after that. I felt like the luckiest guy.

She told me that she had many partners before and I was completely honest with her about my abysmal dating record. She told me that she was never in a long term relationship.

Last week, we were on a vacation to Italy. She insisted on going to Italy. She told me that she wanted to meet her friends. But after she returned, she started acting strangely. I felt like something was wrong. I asked her about it and she told me everything was fine. This went on for a few days and I decided to snoop. I saw her exchanging texts with one of her ex boyfriends. He actually works in Italy now and she was meeting up with him.

I confronted her and she told me that they were together for 11 years before they broke up. I was really shocked. I never knew anything about this guy. She told me that they had an amazing relationship and they broke up because he had to move away. She told me that they planned on getting married, but he was really bad with his finances and he had to move. She just wanted to talk to him and catch up with him. She promised that she wasn't cheating on me and told me that she'll be completely honest from now on.

I asked her why she married me, and she told me that I was a really good guy and I was financially successful, which was more important in a relationship.

I'm really depressed right now. I just realised that I never knew anything about her. I'm just looking for some advice about what to do here.

Any advice is welcome guys.

dont be too hard on yourself , you made a mistake. i dont know anything about the marriage laws where you are at or in general because i never plan on getting married.

but i say get out as soon as you can , realize she was manipulating you and playing you, hang out your heart let it air out

 

[HyenaPrince]

He has some money or he would not have her. He better not lose his job.

He better loses her.

 

[Mike32ct]

Because money isn't an exact/equivalent "trade" for looks. We need to stop pretending that it is.

 

[Alvafe]

Well, lets sum something up:
- he KNEW that his top SMV was way lower than her top SMV so he went for cratered SMV knowing well its a decent deal for him (he admitted that he is bald betachump with no decent dating skills)
- she was PLAYED by chadc.ock for like 12 years before and he found out so late? LOLLOLLOL Dude I ask about female past during first three dates (I am LTR oriented) and I do ask about the previous relationships and those are qualifying questions for me - that guy was so enamoured by her that he didn't care so why suddenly his naivety is her fault? It was on her interest to do not disclose such facts
- she settled and HE SETTLED AS WELL, hoping that 2 years older female won't run from him - and that went as far w/o issues for him as it could for decent betabuxx provider
- there's no such thing like love from a woman, there's respect, attachment and admiration and ***** tingles which we men call love but females don't feel about us what we feel about them - she respected his income, values and intelligence and that created some attachment and some admiration and some ***** tingles.

Everything above doesn't really matter if female was sexually imprinted by cha.ds/alpha.c.o.ck for years. She is just accustomed to al.pha.c.ock and misses it. She was railed for years with huge boner and she misses it. My ex still writes me after years from break up because I phucked her good - she was feminist but came hardest when I bi.tc.hslap.ped her and choked her while phucking her with large c.o.ck.

Betachump should accept that he lost this game and let her go. He is what he is and won't change it or he can just accept that he tried to outsmart this woman by playing on her biological clock which obviously blew back to his face btw.

Date younger females, don't date cratered SMV because its easier to lay them. It's strategical error that I made myself once.

yes because she won't lie right? don't matter if you ask or not, you will still be bound on her wish to tell you or not, and new flash they WILL lie, even more if that makes then look like a slut, hence why we say don't matter ask about her past, act on the way she act, and never marry a woman before you date her for at least 5 years anything less then that is stupid, and make sure to test her will, if a woman push for marriage with you and tells you if you don't she will end it you know already she don't like you that much

 

[MachinePT]

My(37m) wife(39f) just kind of told me that I'm the guy who she settled for and admitted that she can't get over her ex. Not sure how to process this.

I'm on a throwaway because I'm really embarrassed.

We've been married for 3 years. I met my wife when I was 33. We dated for an year before getting married and we have 2yo twin girls now.

I was always an insecure guy. I'm bald( I lost most of my hair when I was 19) , I'm not that handsome and I didn't get to date much.When I was young, most of the women ghosted me after the first date. I never had a lasting relationship with anyone. I just stopped trying after that. The only thing going on for me is my business.

I met my wife at a gala event held by one of our clients. She was working in our PR. When I first saw her, I knew she was waay out of my league. But when I started interacting with her, I was really drawn to her. She was just amazing. Intelligent, career driven, and she didn't care how I looked. I really felt like she was the one. Weq dated for a while and got married after that. I felt like the luckiest guy.

She told me that she had many partners before and I was completely honest with her about my abysmal dating record. She told me that she was never in a long term relationship.

Last week, we were on a vacation to Italy. She insisted on going to Italy. She told me that she wanted to meet her friends. But after she returned, she started acting strangely. I felt like something was wrong. I asked her about it and she told me everything was fine. This went on for a few days and I decided to snoop. I saw her exchanging texts with one of her ex boyfriends. He actually works in Italy now and she was meeting up with him.

I confronted her and she told me that they were together for 11 years before they broke up. I was really shocked. I never knew anything about this guy. She told me that they had an amazing relationship and they broke up because he had to move away. She told me that they planned on getting married, but he was really bad with his finances and he had to move. She just wanted to talk to him and catch up with him. She promised that she wasn't cheating on me and told me that she'll be completely honest from now on.

I asked her why she married me, and she told me that I was a really good guy and I was financially successful, which was more important in a relationship.

I'm really depressed right now. I just realised that I never knew anything about her. I'm just looking for some advice about what to do here.

Any advice is welcome guys.

Dam, our brother just had a huge blow, probably is depressed, and all people here can only make cold critical analysis of male female polarity , SMV or whatever.

I think you know what you need to do here OP.

She married you for the wrong reasons , and lied to you about the trip to Italy.
She didnt go there to be with her friends, she went there to meet her ex, whom she didn't forgot.
Not trying to be cruel here ,but what did they do for the amount of days she stayed there? Talked ? hugged ? cried ? for 3 or 4 days?

You really need to put your head together and exit this in the cleanest way possible.
There ist still life ahead of you that can be beautiful!

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Dam, our brother just had a huge blow, probably is depressed, and all people here can only make cold critical analysis of male female polarity , SMV or whatever.

I think you know what you need to do here OP.

She married you for the wrong reasons , and lied to you about the trip to Italy.
She didnt go there to be with her friends, she went there to meet her ex, whom she didn't forgot.
Not trying to be cruel here ,but what did they do for the amount of days she stayed there? Talked ? hugged ? cried ? for 3 or 4 days?

You really need to put your head together and exit this in the cleanest way possible.
There ist still life ahead of you that can be beautiful!

This is a post from reddit (aka simp-nation), not the OP.

 

[lostintime]

Damn.

 

[MachinePT]

This is a post from reddit (aka simp-nation), not the OP.

oops .. my bad

 

[Chronocidal]

Why do guys think that they are entitled to full plate of wonders when they go after cratered yet still high SMV females - its obvious that her SMV was higher than his SMV at some point and she just 'decided' to mate with him as decent beta-prospect.

What is a "full plate of wonders"? The phrase sounds very much like pedestalizing to me.

 

[Spaz]

That's what this guy did. Pedestalized cratered-SMV-bi4tch.

To be honest though I don't really know what guys like him (i.e. that go after older women) think, I date 8 years younger female myself currently (again) and I am her first 'real' boyfriend, so it's not really a question I should answer.

I could never understand why men go for older women.

But women the world over seems to know why - mommy issues.

Grown ass men just needs another mommy whom they could fvck.

It's no surprise that we find many sensitive men here, often crying that they're been insulted and demands immediate action.

Disgusting display of boyhood in a grown man.

 

[bat soup]

She's a cheating, lying cuuunt. Quit your job or start working part time, then after a year divorce her and file for alimony. In the meantime start looking for her replacement.