I Am Still A Man....

[abe0]

Briefly, I am 50 and met the most incredible woman 9, intelligent lady in a long time. I am a professional fair shape...this lady in some ways was out of my league...but we got along great on the phone. It was the first date ever that I held a woman's hand the minute we met. Great dinner...all her nonverbal where there...we kissed several times... very touchy. Went to the Four Seasons...danced...dessert. It was one of the most incredible dates.
We talked on the phone several times about getting together this weekend again. She would text me "thinking about you"...and we would text back and forth at work. Yesterday after the "thinking of you"...I asked her to call me before going to bed and she sent me a smile. I sent her a "Talk?"...got nothing. Today, I have not heard from her.....WTF?????
I know what I need to do...no contact.....maybe in TG, if I do not hear from her I might wish her a Happy T.Giving...We were making plans about her coming over this Friday...I was going to cook and on Saturday go to the USC UCLA game which she was excited to do.
I give up figuring out women....fifty years old...and I can not figure it out.
At least I learned what to do on this site....a few years ago I would have been texting...I miss you, when are you going to call...blablabla.
Not this time....
Any insight and suggestions are appreciated...
Abe0...thanks in advance

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Abe,
Something too good to be true usually is....When posed with a non threatening decision like this, Napoleon advocated just doing nothing...and he was not a procrastinator...she may turn up again,you never know...should that happen,then act as if nothing untoward had occurred!

 

[origin138]

Unfortunate, but not really surprising. At this point, she's dismissing you. This is when you pull way back and and don't contact her for any reason. If she contacts you, blow her off. Don't ask her for an explanation, she'll just lie to you with a smile. A woman with high interest level will not behave this way. Her mixed messages are an indicator of low interest, and her ignoring your requests to talk are a sign she's out with other men.

Barring her losing her cell or having some sort of stellar excuse behind not responding, she's playing games and isn't interested in the way you want her to be.

Spin more plates, keep all of your options open, and don't pay this one anymore attention. And don't let her inconsistent, childish behavior sway you from your course as a man. There are a billion and one awesome things on this planet, why let one dumb broad be your sole focus? This women has earned last place on your long list of important things to address.

This might be of use: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=134995

 

[Die Hard]

You were falling for her after that first date, it sounds like you even fell HARD for her... That's a sure way to get yourself in trouble, man.

Never forget, she should be chasing you, not the other way around. She should need you more than you need her. She should be trying to make you show affection to her, not the other way around.

Women are women, men are men. They both have their own habits and their own typical behavior. Most of the time, when people steer away from the way their gender is supposed to behave, the members of the other gender won't find that attractive...

Simply put, if you start wearing make-up as aa man, you can be pretty sure that women won't find that attractive. It's what THEY do, not what men do.

Now let's translate all this to your situation. You ask her to call you before going to bed... That's not what the man does, it's what the girl does. "Oh, I want to hear your voice before I go to to sleep. I need to know that you watch over me while I sleep..." Man, that's what little kids ask their mommy. Asking her to call you before you go to sleep has the same effect on her as if you would ask her to tuck you in. Is that what a man asks a woman? Hell no...

I think her staying silent after that text is her way of saying: "I don't like this kind of behavior from a guy, it makes me lose attraction for you. I want a MAN, but you're acting like a girl right now, so this conversation ends. We'll talk again when you start acting like a man again."

So get yourself under control, get rid of the initial infatuation you caught for her, forget about this little incident and game on, like a MAN.

Perhaps she's a twisted psycho bytch and she won't give you anymore attention after this. In that case you should be happy to be rid of her. If she's somewhat normal, then this little incident sure won't erase her attraction for you forever, you can just recover and continue gaming. Just get rid of the infatuation and act according to your gender...

 

[abe0]

Thanks of the response to all...good advice. Die Hard...the call before bed stuff was in reference that when we had talked before she suggested we talk at that time after getting all her stuff done at home. But your point is well taken.
And yes, I fell hard on her....and that's why I am in trouble....and yes, I thought about being too good to be true. Oh well, live and learn an on to the next one. But I have to say...I really had to fight my wanting to call her and being a chump.
Abe

 

[Die Hard]

Stop thinking in terms of all or nothing. There's something in between, you know?

I don't think she has totally rejected you. It just feels that way to you, the phone call that didn't come feels like a total dismissal of you as a person. Don't give it that meaning... Women will do things to push your button all the time, the trick is not letting it get to you, not taking it as a total rejection of you.

You can't control their behavior, women are alway gonna do stuff like this to you. You can control your response to it, however. Don't let it get to you.

That way, things don't have to immediately end as soon as the woman does something like this. It doesn't have to be all or nothing to you. You just need to be above it, don't be too disturbed by it. Which you can only do if you keep your feelings for her in check, falling for her makes you lose all self control...

And the great thing is, if you show her that you can stay calm and confident of yourself despite this behavior of hers, she will perceive you as higher value and feel more attracted to you.

In short, learn how to stay calm and confident in these situations, which means that you have to keep yourself from falling for a woman too hard too fast.

 

[VladPatton]

Interesting, isn't it? The quicker, harder, more infatuated you become with a woman, the higher the potential for her to dismiss you. It seems completely twisted, but it happened at least once to all of us. The whole trick is to be cool about everything and to never forget how easily shıt can go to hell.

Go ghost on her for now and see what happens. Keep us posted.

Good luck!

 

[abe0]

Follow up....OMG...women are crazy!!! Okay, she was a little shy about dancing and there where three women looking at her. Sooo, I told her that when I dance I just tune out everyone....I also said something to the affect that those three women sitting down may be commenting on her dress...or maybe jealous that they do not have a date and that we were the lucky ones because we were having a nice time irrespective of how we danced or looked.
She texted me tonight that she remembered what I has said that night....and something that it did not matter about what she was wearing...and that I did not have to worry about her wearing her Luis Vuitton dress to the USC UCLA game and that I could give her ticket to someone else ..blablabla...WTF... I briefly mentioned that my whole point had nothing to do with what she was wearing ...I complemented her that she looked like a million bucks..that what I was saying was that I tune everyone out as if I were dancing in my living irrespective of anyone commenting how I looked or danced....it was my way of helping her getting over her shyness when dancing. Then I wished her well ....and that was that.
Hell, three days after the date she was still texting me nice stuff and now she comes up with this crap. Either she has attention deficit...she is PMSing (that's what my friend thinks), she is high maintainance and insecure...or she just wanted to dump me and is ****ing someone else. Whatever...I don't give a ****.
I think I dodged a bullet with another crazy female....she could have called me ...discussed it like a rational human being and given me an opportunity to clarify the situation....WTF...so much drama...I don't need that ****!!!
Well, it sounds girly....but I got my closure and I feel better...LOL...Onward we go to find another one..LOL
Thanks guys....abe0....Jesus....is it too much to ask for women to be rational? Is it? Or a rational female an oxymoron.....?

 

[mikey2012]

Follow up....OMG...women are crazy!!! Okay, she was a little shy about dancing and there where three women looking at her. Sooo, I told her that when I dance I just tune out everyone....I also said something to the affect that those three women sitting down may be commenting on her dress...or maybe jealous that they do not have a date and that we were the lucky ones because we were having a nice time irrespective of how we danced or looked.
She texted me tonight that she remembered what I has said that night....and something that it did not matter about what she was wearing...and that I did not have to worry about her wearing her Luis Vuitton dress to the USC UCLA game and that I could give her ticket to someone else ..blablabla...WTF... I briefly mentioned that my whole point had nothing to do with what she was wearing ...I complemented her that she looked like a million bucks..that what I was saying was that I tune everyone out as if I were dancing in my living irrespective of anyone commenting how I looked or danced....it was my way of helping her getting over her shyness when dancing. Then I wished her well ....and that was that.
Hell, three days after the date she was still texting me nice stuff and now she comes up with this crap. Either she has attention deficit...she is PMSing (that's what my friend thinks), she is high maintainance and insecure...or she just wanted to dump me and is ****ing someone else. Whatever...I don't give a ****.
I think I dodged a bullet with another crazy female....she could have called me ...discussed it like a rational human being and given me an opportunity to clarify the situation....WTF...so much drama...I don't need that ****!!!
Well, it sounds girly....but I got my closure and I feel better...LOL...Onward we go to find another one..LOL
Thanks guys....abe0....Jesus....is it too much to ask for women to be rational? Is it? Or a rational female an oxymoron.....?

BPD

 

[abe0]

Well Mikey....the more I read about borderline personality the more I agree. They come on strong thinking this one is the right one...best dates ever...they are really into you. Then, out of nowhere they turn on you for no reason...they misinterpret things...and all that love is out the window. Then you are left thinking...WTF went wrong...what did I do? When the problem is them and not you.
Thanks for the insight...I should have seeing that one. Abe