I am so lost. Looking for advice Please.

[Daily bball]

Hi everyone. I'm rather new to the site. I am a straight up afc trying to get rid of as much afc qualities as I can. I've read many of the tips in the high school forum. Some important concepts I learned of being a don juan is to not put woman on a pedestal, don't act needy towards a girl, being confident, etc. Here's some background info on myself: 1) I've never had a girlfriend 2) Never dated 3) Don't know where to start to get myself out of afc-dom 4) I dorm in college so I'm surrounded by girls 5) The only thing Im currently working on is being more ****y/funny 6) I basically have no other skills when it comes to attracting girls b/c all my life I've been told to just be myself (worst advice ever)

What really appealed to me is the concept of acting ****y-funny. It seems to be a powerful way to create attraction for girls. This is really the only thing I've been working on. The problem is that I am so bad at it. I've read many examples but when it comes down to when I'm actually talking to a girl, my mind draws a blank. It is so annoying. I only come up with ****y and funny statements after I'm done talking to a girl. By girl it is usually a classmate. I just end up kicking myself for not thinking and saying it during the conversation. Also, there are times I do have a ****y/funny statement in mind but I don't say it b/c I lack the confidence b/c I'm really not used to saying over the top statements like these.

I honestly do not feel like progressing any further until I become good at being ****y/funny. I feel without it, I won't be able sustain a girl's interest for very long. Currently I feel like I'm making close to no progress in becoming a don juan. I have two questions. What exactly should I start working on first or what should I do first to become a don juan? Can anyone offer me advice on getting better at being ****y/funny? Guys I really appreciate any positive input.

 

[Highway Child]

Can you please just tell me what an AFC is?

 

[Aragon034]

Being yourself isn't bad advice, in fact, it's what being a Don Juan is about.

What it should say is "Be Confident in who you are."

C&F takes A LOT of confidence, confidence that whatever is running through your brain isn't going to make you sound like a dork, this is true especially if you aren't a naturally humorous guy.

think about it, Jerks aren't necessarily funny, but they still get the girls because they're confident in who they are.

So in answer to your questions.

1 Forget everything you've learned about women before this. experience shows you know less than squat. Instead, focus on your own life, improve any aspect you aren't happy with (physique, education, job... etc etc..) and you'll start to build the confidence to get what you really want.

2 Talk to everybody, ****y and Funny = relaxed, if you're nervous than C&F turns into A&M... Arrogant and Mean. The more relaxed you are with talking, the easier C&F will get. Watching the comedy network for an hour or 2 a night won't hurt either. (at least IMO)

oh and highway child, AFC = Average Frustrated Chump. there's a list out there of most abbreviations we use... forget the link though, look it and and stuff will appear.

 

[touge]

agreed Aragon

When people say be yourself, they mean be yourself, improve yourself, work on yourself, and don't try to be or act like anyone else

 

[Daily bball]

thx for the advice aragon

 

[brian123]

Do things to build up confidence. Go to the gym, get buff etc. Also, I'd recommend meeting and being friends with as many people as possible.

 

[Bible_Belt]

C&F is very effective, but a lot of guys do it incorrectly. It is good-natured, light-hearted, FUN teasing of a girl over trivial things, like you would tease a friend's little kid sister. Do not be mean about it. Do not 'neg hit' on very obvious negative traits about her, like being a little too fat or too thin.

Fun teasing addresses trivial traits that can usually be easily changed, like clothes, shoes, or purse - or even better, does not even address a physical trait. When you see a girl reading cosmo at the bookstore, playfully accuse her of reading all of the sex articles in the magazine. Do it to get a laugh for yourself at her expense. Then she laughs a little, too, and the game begins.

 

[Darth]

When people say "be yourself," what they really mean is don't pretend to be something you're not. Instead, improve yourself to the point where you can be yourself, and have people like you.

 

[DonGorgon]

When people say "be yourself," what they really mean is don't pretend to be something you're not. Instead, improve yourself to the point where you can be yourself, and have people like you.

I dont have a set self to be... I become that which works best in any given situation i see a valuable.... its odd..

 

[Faded Image]

How good do you want to be?

 

[Cashew]

When people say "be yourself," what they really mean is don't pretend to be something you're not. Instead, improve yourself to the point where you can be yourself, and have people like you.

When people give the advice "Just be yourself" it's because they don't have any real advice to give you. If a problem can be solved by just being yourself, then there wouldn't have been a problem in the first place. "Just be yourself" is one of the worst pieces of advice to give anyone who has a problem.

That doesn't mean he needs to pretend to be something else. He needs to change at least something about himself (which is specifically NOT just being yourself).


@ Daily bball:
When you think about something, just say it. Don't care about what others think about you for saying it. Yeah, you might piss some people off at first, but you'll learn in the process. Eventually you get good at knowing what to say and how to say it. It's not always a smooth transition into becoming smooth.

If you keep up an "act" long enough, eventually it will stop being an act.

 

[MascaraSnake]

agreed, aragon...couldn't have said it better myself.

Also, if you check a girl out...act like you're checking something else out (and grab a quick glance while looking toward that direction), use your peripheral vision, or just plain don't hide the fact you're looking at her. If you look at her and then look away when she looks back she's going to be majorly creeped out.