"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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I am slightly effeminate. How do I deal with this correctly?

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starfishandcoffee

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I've always been slightly effeminate, and I'm under the impression a percentage of women think I'm gay. I'm very ambitious re: getting phone numbers - and I've had a lot of success this year - but this might be sabotaging me more than I think it is. (example - I was on a date last week, and I kissed my date without warning. She reacted positively, but was clearly not expecting it.)

How do I balance this out? By getting super fit so that they don't care? (An effeminate Italian immigrant friend of mine got laid every five minutes, so I'm sure there's a magic combo to seek out here.)
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Lotus Effect

Lotus Effect

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starfishandcoffee said:
I've always been slightly effeminate, and I'm under the impression a percentage of women think I'm gay. I'm very ambitious re: getting phone numbers - and I've had a lot of success this year - but this might be sabotaging me more than I think it is.
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Dude, this is a no brainer.

You don't have to ask anyone here. You have to ask yourself.

Since you are not asking yourself (Or seeking someone to do it for you) here it goes:

Are you Gay??

Answer this one, and things might be easier.

(if you are not and you are under the impression that you look gay, it may be that you do look gay, so chage your hair, change your clothing (I'm betting you have some hipster garnish on it), and change your attitude)

Perception is reallity.

also, here is a good site:
http://www.artofmanliness.com/ There is a 30 day challenge on it, into becoming a man. It might help you.
(In case you are not gay)
 
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sylvester the cat

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Go for Japanese girls. They love effeminate guys.
 
Lotus Effect

Lotus Effect

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sylvester the cat said:
Go for Japanese girls. They love effeminate guys.
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True dat!

When I was younger, beardless and thinner, I always had game with Japanese chicks.

It is cool btw. They scream so loud in bed, and their pus*y is really tight. So tight you might even hurt them, even if you are "average"

Good tip!
 
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Squareone

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What do you think makes you come off as effeminate? Voice? Personality? Looks?

Working out, playing sports, or taking leadership roles is a good start.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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FairShake

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If you're scoring like you said you are you don't need to worry.

I doubt your voice, mannerisms, and look can change that much after so many years though so I'd become comfortable being who you are.
 
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LandingWood

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I'm also kind of effeminate and I'm above average looking. Use it to your advantage. Make them comfortable and build rapport fast.
 
M

Mike32ct

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LorenzoVonM said:
You fvcking own it and never ask a question about it again.
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^This. Just own it.

You know you're straight. If some women wonder about you, that's ok. Let the hamster spin.

Last year for Halloween, I wore a banana suit. This lady asked if I was gay...

Miss I Have to Make a Comment: "I like the suit. Are you gay?"

Mike: Honey, I may be a banana, but I'm no fruit :)
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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NewJack

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I would be careful with laying on the self-judgment here.

I've always been slightly effeminate, and I'm under the impression a percentage of women think I'm gay.
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You're under the impression. Sounds like women in general have no problem with you.
Depending on how we set our standards, we are all effeminate. Its a question of which mental pictures you use to compare yourself to. My stray thoughts.
 
J

Jaylan

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LorenzoVonM said:
You fvcking own it and never ask a question about it again.
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Agree.

Dont let others dictate the man you should be. Are you happy with who you are? If so, just be you. Ive had people question my sexuality before, but I dont give a rats ass. I do my thing, and live my life. It hasnt prevented me from having a dating life.

Ive gone through different style phases in my life. I had my punk days where I wore nail polish, eyeliner, and had weird hair. Idiots outside of the scene would ask if I was gay, but I did just fine getting girls interested in me during my younger punk years. And there was also a time after that where I was into skater style a lot. And at the time tight stretch skinny jeans were very "in". I still got girlfriends and sex.

And my mannerisms and personality traits arent all totally "masculine" or "feminine" or a mix of the two. Some people interpret my style and behavior one way, and others interpret it a different way. It is what it is. So at the end of the day, some girls will dig your styles and mannerisms, and others wont. Men have a variety of traits, and women dont all like the same kind of guy. And Ill tell you, Ive had a couple girls after sleeping with me confess that they werent too sure about my sexuality initially, but that they were glad they went for it and found out for themselves.

Do you OP.

EDIT: Sometimes people will throw out gay accusations just to hate on you. Ive had guys hate on the fact that I care about my appearance, yet they look dumb when they see how many women appreciate it. And also Ive had a couple women get insecure and question my sexuality because I go hard with my fitness lifestyle and try to keep my body looking good. These are the silly women who say "I dunno, Ive always got the gay vibe from guys who care so much about their body"....in other words thats just a silly b!tch who would want to bang you, but has to tear you down first due to her own ego (aka insecurity). Its not a rarity for certain women to call out a dude as gay if he dresses well and cares about being fit.
 
H

HalfPUAHalfAFC

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I'm not effeminate at all but on occasion a few women have wondered if I was gay.

Most of my girlfriends/plates have been baffled by this. WTF? they wonder...

Anyway, I did learn a little trick you can use to your advantage.

When a girl asks, "Are you gay?" she's actually thinking about kissing/fvcking you but has not cleared herself for take off. And, it's a sh!t-test of sorts.

If/when that happens, just smirk and lean over and kiss them. Their response will tell you all you need.

If they kiss you back, they are usually DTF that night. If not, get the number and set up the date. Easy lay....
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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