Like it's got me down,and there's nothing I can do about it. Like my mind is always locked in this negative state,and I can't change it,yet everyone else is so happy and cofident and "free" and "cool". It's all my mindset. I can't have it on positive all the time. I don't even know If I want girls,or,I look at too much porn,I stopped for a week,then started up again. I am wondering if it affects my natural senses/state. I also don't have the right level on cofidence,if there isn one.
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
I always feel beet down by life....
- Thread starter ItsOnNow
- Start date
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Killer Six Pac
Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 15, 2008
- Messages
- 86
- Reaction score
- 1
I know what your saying, i'm going through the same thing, couple of weeks ago I was doing great, now it feels like im back to square one, =/
-HPNOTIQ-
Master Don Juan
First - Stop jackin off bro. If you're fulfilling your needs at home, you'll have less desire to chase real tail.
Second - Realize that everyone gets into these type of ruts. When this happens for me, I hit the gym. If you're not already working out, eating right, or getting enough sleep - I suggest you do so. Working out releases endorphins that put a positive charge to your body. Eating well and getting good sleep is self explanitory.
Lastly - Focus on a goal. I don't know if you're in college or if you're in the working world. Regardless, many people get into ruts in their lives because the don't constantly renew their goals. They succeed in getting to college, get a good job, get a nice pad - then what? girlfriend? wife? what's next?
Figure out what's next. Write it down and passionately chase that goal. Challenge yourself. When you succeed, challenge yourself again, and again.
For some its running a marathon...for others its starting a new business...whatever it maybe for you, think of something you've always wanted to do (non-woman related) and go for it. Ambition is one of the most attractive traits men can have.
Second - Realize that everyone gets into these type of ruts. When this happens for me, I hit the gym. If you're not already working out, eating right, or getting enough sleep - I suggest you do so. Working out releases endorphins that put a positive charge to your body. Eating well and getting good sleep is self explanitory.
Lastly - Focus on a goal. I don't know if you're in college or if you're in the working world. Regardless, many people get into ruts in their lives because the don't constantly renew their goals. They succeed in getting to college, get a good job, get a nice pad - then what? girlfriend? wife? what's next?
Figure out what's next. Write it down and passionately chase that goal. Challenge yourself. When you succeed, challenge yourself again, and again.
For some its running a marathon...for others its starting a new business...whatever it maybe for you, think of something you've always wanted to do (non-woman related) and go for it. Ambition is one of the most attractive traits men can have.
LowPlainsDrifter
Senior Don Juan
Read a book called "The Spark" by Dr. Ratey...
Hypnotiq is dead-on. "The Spark" talks about all of the positive physiological, mental and emotional benefits of exercise.
Anything reasonably vigorous exceeding about fifteen minutes will lift energize your body, lift your mood, and possibly begin a positive feedback loop "if you let it."
Hypnotiq is dead-on. "The Spark" talks about all of the positive physiological, mental and emotional benefits of exercise.
Anything reasonably vigorous exceeding about fifteen minutes will lift energize your body, lift your mood, and possibly begin a positive feedback loop "if you let it."
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Yes, looking at porn will dull you very quickly as will masturbating. I don't know the science behind it but I would argue that both could be considered addictions if you find the urge to do them compulsive. Stop doing both. Today. Get out a calendar and put an X on each day you resist the urge to do either. Tell us how you feel after 14days. Find physical outlets to express that energy so that it doesn't push you over the edge.ItsOnNow said:Like it's got me down,and there's nothing I can do about it. Like my mind is always locked in this negative state,and I can't change it,yet everyone else is so happy and cofident and "free" and "cool". It's all my mindset. I can't have it on positive all the time. I don't even know If I want girls,or,I look at too much porn,I stopped for a week,then started up again. I am wondering if it affects my natural senses/state. I also don't have the right level on cofidence,if there isn one.
You will feel beat down by life when you allow yourself to remain at the mercy of anything life brings you and when you remain at the mercy of uncontrolled impulses. You need to find a way to assert control over your life and put it into order. As another poster wrote, you can do this through having goals and making plans.
You have a certain image in your head of what a relationship is like, an ideal, and you are projecting it onto the other people you see. Things are often not what they seem or the way you would like them to be. Relationships can be good but they are probably not quite as you would imagine. Ask anybody that has been in a few relationships of length and they will tell you that it is a toss up between which is better: being single or in a relationship.ItsOnNow said:Seriously. Not haging a gf or someone buy your side sucks,I see all these other people,and yet I don't. Why not? I have no idea,it's like I am trapped in this emotional pit.
Get some control over your life. Master your addictions to porn and masturbation. Set some goals for the direction of your life and start working towards them.
I'm in the same position but changing it for the better. It's 2 steps forward 1 step back for me at the moment. This week I'm on that dreaded step back but I'll be going forward again.ItsOnNow said:Like it's got me down,and there's nothing I can do about it. Like my mind is always locked in this negative state,and I can't change it,yet everyone else is so happy and cofident and "free" and "cool". It's all my mindset. I can't have it on positive all the time. I don't even know If I want girls,or,I look at too much porn,I stopped for a week,then started up again. I am wondering if it affects my natural senses/state. I also don't have the right level on cofidence,if there isn one.
100% agreed! It's vital to have some purpose in life instead of just drifting through life.-HPNOTIQ- said:Lastly - Focus on a goal. I don't know if you're in college or if you're in the working world. Regardless, many people get into ruts in their lives because the don't constantly renew their goals. They succeed in getting to college, get a good job, get a nice pad - then what? girlfriend? wife? what's next?
Figure out what's next. Write it down and passionately chase that goal. Challenge yourself. When you succeed, challenge yourself again, and again.
DonGorgon
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Nov 28, 2007
- Messages
- 4,679
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I try to avoid going down too low... but that take alot of energy so if i have a stress increase its harder for me to maintain that depression control... This is nothing new for me... I try.
i feel just like you man. i am trying to stop looking at porn too. i am addicted. i've tried soooooooooo many times to quit. i always relapse. this time will be different though. i hope. anyway, there is this site called no-porn.com. it helps me a lot. i always feel down too about not having a girlfriend. you aren't the only one.
How many threads are you going to start saying the same negative things?
You have to start speaking positives in your life and get rid of that negative attitude. No body owes you anything, and no one is going to give you anything until you have something to give. Stop taking, dude, and start giving of yourself.
I could go on forever with this, but I'm not. I don't feel sorry for you. Everyone has problems. Even guys who seem to have it all, but they man up and don't go around complaining to everyone about it. They go do something about it. You need some confidence.
Here's a quote that I read lately and has a lot of truth to it
If you imagine failure, dwell on it, and prepare for it, then you will fail.
You have to start speaking positives in your life and get rid of that negative attitude. No body owes you anything, and no one is going to give you anything until you have something to give. Stop taking, dude, and start giving of yourself.
I could go on forever with this, but I'm not. I don't feel sorry for you. Everyone has problems. Even guys who seem to have it all, but they man up and don't go around complaining to everyone about it. They go do something about it. You need some confidence.
Here's a quote that I read lately and has a lot of truth to it
If you imagine failure, dwell on it, and prepare for it, then you will fail.
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"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
oakraiderz2
Master Don Juan
1) Stop your upward comparisons- Dont compare yourself to people who you think are doing better than you. The majority of people you think are happy and cool and have a great life often face the same problem that you do.
2) Be aware of your thoughts- When you start thinking negatively...STOP! You have to be consciously aware of your thoughts and strive to change them or at least stop them from happening.
3) Read affirmations- You need to surround yourself with positivity.
Thats just one aspect of you that you need to work on. You say youre not confident enough...
Get a job, start working out, and get hobbies; its said all the time here, but theres good cause for it. Since you dont know what you want, now seems like a pretty opportune time to do something about your life.
2) Be aware of your thoughts- When you start thinking negatively...STOP! You have to be consciously aware of your thoughts and strive to change them or at least stop them from happening.
3) Read affirmations- You need to surround yourself with positivity.
Thats just one aspect of you that you need to work on. You say youre not confident enough...
Get a job, start working out, and get hobbies; its said all the time here, but theres good cause for it. Since you dont know what you want, now seems like a pretty opportune time to do something about your life.
I've got a suggestion for you. Go join a gym and start working out. Set a goal, and work towards it. You will forget about a lot of those things that you are thinking of daily because you are spending your time and thoughts elsewhere. You'll be delighted in your progress. You'll also be able to take out your aggressions and frustrations on the weights.