How to repair when you've gone too far?

[K-man]

Guys,

I've had this little fling going on with a very attractive lady at work for the last six weeks or so. She's been very responsive to my approach and have sent me flirty e-mails, lets me touch her and nibble on her neck and ears...and she's been very attentive.

However, I lost my cool the other week and spilled out a little to much about my feelings for her and now It's like she's been taking a step back. I didn't confess my love for her but told her that she's adorable and that I like her a lot.

I can still kiss her neck but it just feels like she's not taking any initiatives herself any longer.

What should I do? Is it possible to repair my AFCish behaviour or do you think it's possible that she'll be after me if I stay calm? Or is it NEXT?

Oh, and before you yell at me for flirting at work she's in another department so it's perfectly allright.

 

[Jariel]

It was a big mistake revealing how you feel, but it could work to your advantage if you are able to back off now and let her do the chasing. You need to cut your attention right down and be strong about it. If she's not making the first moves, then keep waiting.

Right now she can take you for granted and believes she can have you whenever she wants. You need to shatter that illusion and let her feel like she's lost her opportunity. If all goes well, she'll start to miss all the attention you've shown her and start to value you more.

 

[Captain]

No wonder she's backed off, you've lost a lot of mystery by blabbing your feelings to her. What you did is only really fine after you've slept with her and you know she is REALLY into you.

What to do? Back off totally for a bit, then go in strong again and push things forward to the next level (kissing.)

 

[teddy240]

Everyone loves the thrill of the chase. When its fun and flirty everybody wins. When it starts getting into "i like you" it changes alot and mostly puts everything in her court. Dont say how you feel, show it. Let her be the emotional one, because lets face it, women are the more emotional of the sexes. My advice, play cool for awhile. Get on track with things to keep you busy, go out, be fun again. You'll get her to come running.

 

[DjVita]

time to let her start appreciating you, how? by becoming scarce.
ill show you with one
i live in Mex and social ettiqutte is better, we greet the other sex with kiss in the chick
well there was a girl that i was coming too strong, and i could she she freaked if i got got closer to her...so i did a pushback...
that day instead of eagerly trying to kiss her on the cheek, i extended my hand, looked at her suspiciously, and just said...hi.
she elevated before my eyes! she was paying more attention, more receptive to my convo.

best thing to do is lay off, and focus on other girls. i mean, there are other hot chicks in your workplace, right bud?

 

[S0LID]

focus on other girls

There's something zen about this.

 

[ARrocket]

best thing to do is lay off, and focus on other girls. i mean, there are other hot chicks...

This basically is the remedy to 90% of problems on this board.

 

[K-man]

Thank's gentlemen for your replies!

I think you'd liked what you saw if you studied me at work today. Had lots of contact with her but I was acting busy, energetic and a bit condescending towards her. Even called her a b!tch.

At the end of the day she approached just to give me a hug in front of my colleagues...totally unnecesseray as she was already on her way out.