How to procced if she doesn't return kino?

[Sleep]

So I've seeing this girl, on the second date everything was going smooth, we were outside in a park smoking and drinking coffee, we saw an owl and fatty girl running with a panic attack while some dude followed her.

She shows an average level of interest through conversation, but in terms of body language, she barely keeps eye contact and even though during convo I touch her arm and other minor things she never returns kino and continues in a rigid posture. Only late at night she took off her bag between us and I moved in closer to her and we talked a few inches close face-to-face (Later I think she opened her guard for me to escalate, but I received so many mixed signals that I wasn't sure)

I haven't been with a girl for months, so I think it's mostly rust blocking my moves (I feeling "unnatural" every time I try kino with her), she invited me for dinner at a Japanese restaurant or just to call me this week when I feel like it so we can have another coffee so now I need to learn how to solve this problem for the next time.

Any tips or reprehension? :nervous:

 

[Chamber36]

I can tell you are too reactive towards this chick. The fact you kino her more than she kino's you is a bad sign. When you are hanging out with a chick it should be because you're having a good time. If you're constantly worried about *the next moment* you will constantly be guaging her IL, and that will turn her off - as it does not convey confidence.

If you want to continue trying with this girl: just be a bit more stand-offish. Don't do a complete 180 or anything, like ignoring her. Just don't invest as much attention into her. Her opinion of you is probably already formed and she will probably turn you into an orbiter.

 

[Sleep]

I can tell you are too reactive towards this chick. The fact you kino her more than she kino's you is a bad sign. When you are hanging out with a chick it should be because you're having a good time. If you're constantly worried about *the next moment* you will constantly be guaging her IL, and that will turn her off - as it does not convey confidence.

If you want to continue trying with this girl: just be a bit more stand-offish. Don't do a complete 180 or anything, like ignoring her. Just don't invest as much attention into her. Her opinion of you is probably already formed and she will probably turn you into an orbiter.

You are right, being too reactive, probably I'm way to interested in her. The kino stuff is smooth though, hard to explain but it's all but stuff that you would do to a male friend, without the aggressive stuff and she doesn't make resistance to it.

I need to lower my interest level you are right, if I didn't spin my head so much about it, I probably wouldn't made this topic.

 

[Sleep]

Invite her over your place to watch a movie and verbally ask her if she wants to cuddle once she gets there. If she says no, next her. This is your last best hope. Also, use alcohol .

I will do something along those lines, thanks. (She doesn't drink, I will just use my wits and make her laugh like crazy, it worked till now :crazy: )

 

[Igetit!]

So I've seeing this girl, on the second date everything was going smooth, we were outside in a park smoking and drinking coffee, we saw an owl and fatty girl running with a panic attack while some dude followed her.

She shows an average level of interest through conversation, but in terms of body language, she barely keeps eye contact and even though during convo I touch her arm and other minor things she never returns kino and continues in a rigid posture. Only late at night she took off her bag between us and I moved in closer to her and we talked a few inches close face-to-face (Later I think she opened her guard for me to escalate, but I received so many mixed signals that I wasn't sure)

I don't understand what the problem is here. You're going on about her not returning kino. So? To me,she's ALREADY given you one of the biggest IOI's of all.......a SECOND date.

She's NOT flaking,AND she's giving HER TIME to you,yet you're going on about her not reciprocating kino.


And if all that wasn't enough,you said this.....

she invited me for dinner at a Japanese restaurant or just to call me this week when I feel like it so we can have another coffee

She...is inviting YOU out........and for a THIRD date. What exactly is it you're trying to get out of her? If she does suddenly start kinoing you back,what will you think it means? I mean what....isn't her showing up for the dates and ASKING YOU OUT for dates enough to reveal her interest?

What will her kinoing you tell you that her going out multiple times with you hasn't yet?

 

[Sleep]

She...is inviting YOU out........and for a THIRD date. What exactly is it you're trying to get out of her? If she does suddenly start kinoing you back,what will you think it means? I mean what....isn't her showing up for the dates and ASKING YOU OUT for dates enough to reveal her interest?

What will her kinoing you tell you that her going out multiple times with you hasn't yet?

She invited me for the second date as well, only the first one was me who asked. I think I'm thinking too much of "I will just get friendzoned" and it's making me stepping back when I should take a step forward.

As I said, I spent too long without interacting with women, and it's making me over think too much. Thanks for the help.

 

[yyc12]

Invite her over your place to watch a movie and verbally ask her if she wants to cuddle once she gets there. If she says no, next her. This is your last best hope. Also, use alcohol .

I dunno man, women will let you do a whole lot of things to them even though they're not interested in you (or at least this is my experience, lol).

 

[Eph]

Not to rain on the (generally) good parade of answers you have been getting but the way I see it is she isn't reciprocating your Kino because she isn't attracted enough. She may be interested enough to go on dates with you, but she isn't attracted/comfortable enough to touch you back. You should have let her initiate Kino first. She may very well allow you to touch her because she realizes you probably won't stop.

I think the fact you say her body language doesn't reinforce her IL just supports the fact she isn't very attracted to you. Just because sounds interested ("through conversation") doesn't mean she is. If there's any chance to save this "relationship", I think you would be wise to take the others advice and back off a little. Just seem a little less interested.

 

[Sleep]

Not to rain on the (generally) good parade of answers you have been getting but the way I see it is she isn't reciprocating your Kino because she isn't attracted enough. She may be interested enough to go on dates with you, but she isn't attracted/comfortable enough to touch you back. You should have let her initiate Kino first. She may very well allow you to touch her because she realizes you probably won't stop.

I think the fact you say her body language doesn't reinforce her IL just supports the fact she isn't very attracted to you. Just because sounds interested ("through conversation") doesn't mean she is. If there's any chance to save this "relationship", I think you would be wise to take the others advice and back off a little. Just seem a little less interested.

It's a good point, she may have some interest but not attracted enough.

Her words might point that I should try my luck but her body language says otherwise, in the end I think I need to wait on it for a while, set up another date and close it, if I get rejected at least I will know I wouldn't be wasting time on a friendship I didn't want to pursue.