aforabi
Don Juan
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Social freedom is essentially the polar opposite of ‘social anxiety’.
Imagine if you lost the part of your brain that censored all your thoughts and inhibitions. What would you be like? How would you act around others? What
would your true personality be like? Chances are that it would be different than how you act today with most people.
Social freedom exercises will help you expand your comfort zone, and become comfortable in almost all social situations, and give a thicker skin to
break through social barriers.
Unveil the true you by exposing yourself to enough people and social situations and know what you're truly capable of by explains your own comfort zone.
Social freedom is critical to being successful in dating because it will help you meet more people, be more confident when you meet them, and not fear rejection every time you say, feel, or do something outside of the social norm.
Here are a few examples of having a high degree of social freedom:
1. When a sales person is taking advantage of you, you tell him, “Hey, I see what you’re doing and you better stop right now before I call your manager
over here.” Confrontation can be difficult without social freedom.
2. When you smell strange perfume on your boyfriend’s jacket, you have the freedom to confront him. If he’s cheating on you, you have the freedom to walk away from the relationship.
3. When you’re at a party and you’re wildly attracted to someone, being able to say, “Next Monday I’m going to the park, and you will be the perfect person to come with me.”
4. When you’re at a supermarket and notice someone wearing a T-shirt with your favorite band on it, you approach the person saying, “I cannot believe you are into MGMT! You and I are totally meant to be!” Get the drift? Being able to open your true self up to others is the one sure-fire way to become:
Remember: The best way to continuously expand your absolutely social freedom is to stretch your comfort zone slowly but surely by working your way up
through a hierarchy of challenges. Setting a very clear plan for yourself and yours social goals will ensure that you'll be able to improve your absolutely social freedom threshold over time. If you do these exercises twice a week for 3 months, your absolute socal freedom threshold will increase and you'll become significantly more socially free.
Exercise 1: Eye contact
Make eye contact with at least 5 people. Hold it until the other one turns his/his gaze away.
Rate your comfort level: ___________
Exercise 2: Asking what time is it?
Walk up to a stranger and ask, "What time is it?"
Rate your comfort level: ___________
Exercise 3: Directions
Walk up to a stranger and ask for directions...
Rate your comfort level: ___________
Exercise 4: Small talk
Ask for directions and then make small talk for 30 seconds
Rate your comfort level: ___________
Exercise 5: Store clerk
Make small talk with a store clerk for at least 2 minutes
Rate your comfort level: ___________
Exercise 6: Rapport Seeker
Try to have a conversation for at least 3 minutes with a rapport seeker (charity collector, homeless guy, club promoter)
Rate your comfort level: ___________
Exercise 7: Small talk 2
Make small talk with a store clerk even after the next customer is getting rung up.
Rate your comfort level: ___________
Exercise 8: Tell a joke
Tell a joke in front of a people you know.
Rate your comfort level: ___________
Exercise 9: Dancing 1
Dance a little bit in a public place. Not too much. Just bounce a little or snap your fingers.
Rate your comfort level: ___________
Exercise 10: Walk up and sing
Walk down the street while singing or rapping. There's already a lot of people who do this, maybe you've seen them too.
Rate your comfort level: ___________
Exercise 11: Make that guy laugh
Walk up to a stranger and start a conversation. You MUST make the guy laugh. You can't leave the conversation until you make him laugh.
Rate your comfort level: ___________
Exercise 12: Butting In
Walk up to a group of people you don't know. Listen in on their conversation for a short time.
Then as soon as possible bait in and start taking to them as if you've been in the conversation the whole time.
Rate your comfort level: ___________
Exercise 13: Dancing 2
Dance full out on the street or in a public place.
Rate your comfort level: ___________
Exercise 14: Embarrassing Memory 1
Recall an embarrassing moment in front of a safe group - laugh at yourself.
Rate your comfort level: ___________
Exercise 15: Embarrassing Memory 2
Recall an embarrassing moment in a 1 on 1 conversation with a stranger.
Rate your comfort level: ___________
Exercise 16: Random Joke
Tell a joke in front of a group of strangers in a completely random place (the metro, a store, a bus, etc)
Rate your comfort level: ___________
Exercise 17: Moonwalk
Moonwalk in a circle around a group of strangers.
Rate your comfort level: ___________
Exercise 18: Telling secrets
Tell a deep dark secret to a stranger.
Rate your comfort level: ___________
“How Should You Use These Exercises?”
Find a place where there'll be plenty of people around (park, busy street, shopping mall, etc), and do as many exercises as you can.
Rate each exercise on a scale of 1-10 on how comfortable you felt doing them. A rating of 10 is 'the most comfortable.' For any exercises you can't do,
write in a zero and do the next exercise.
Make sure to rate the complete experience for each exercise. This includes a few moment leading up the exercises. Give an honest score to each exercise.
These scores are just for your development, and it's not going to be used to rank you.
On your first attempt, do NOT push yourself too hard. Your first tries is just a test to measure your level of social freedom.
Take note of things that goes through your voices during the lead up to each exercise. Most students report back that the lead up is the worst part. Doing
the exercise itself never results in anything as scary as what your mind invents during the lead up.
It should take your approximately 45 to 60 minutes to complete these 18 exercises on your first try. Then add up your score.
Keep track of all your scores as you repeat the exercises.
Do these exercises twice a week for as long as you continue to see improvement. Start pushing yourself more on the second and third tries.
Bring a friend with you and push each other to do more and more.
Always monitor your scores.
When your score is no longer going up every week, then you know you've gotten everything you can out of these exercises and it's time to stop using them.
If used consistently, these exercises will reduce your approach anxiety, increase your social freedom, and give you confidence in all social interactions.
Stay Chilled!
Abishek
P.S. Here's another related post on the subject: 20 “Killer” Tips to Overcome the Fear of Rejection… Forever!
Imagine if you lost the part of your brain that censored all your thoughts and inhibitions. What would you be like? How would you act around others? What
would your true personality be like? Chances are that it would be different than how you act today with most people.
Social freedom exercises will help you expand your comfort zone, and become comfortable in almost all social situations, and give a thicker skin to
break through social barriers.
Unveil the true you by exposing yourself to enough people and social situations and know what you're truly capable of by explains your own comfort zone.
Social freedom is critical to being successful in dating because it will help you meet more people, be more confident when you meet them, and not fear rejection every time you say, feel, or do something outside of the social norm.
Here are a few examples of having a high degree of social freedom:
1. When a sales person is taking advantage of you, you tell him, “Hey, I see what you’re doing and you better stop right now before I call your manager
over here.” Confrontation can be difficult without social freedom.
2. When you smell strange perfume on your boyfriend’s jacket, you have the freedom to confront him. If he’s cheating on you, you have the freedom to walk away from the relationship.
3. When you’re at a party and you’re wildly attracted to someone, being able to say, “Next Monday I’m going to the park, and you will be the perfect person to come with me.”
4. When you’re at a supermarket and notice someone wearing a T-shirt with your favorite band on it, you approach the person saying, “I cannot believe you are into MGMT! You and I are totally meant to be!” Get the drift? Being able to open your true self up to others is the one sure-fire way to become:
- Flirtatious... when and where you want to be.
- Outcome independent... not concerned with that actually happens in your interaction, but instead just satisfied that you did it.
- Unique and compelling... it takes social freedom to be different than other people.
- Comfortable with rejection... less concerned about what other people think about you.
- Outgoing... being fun, playful, when you want to be.
- How to meet more new people and thus have more romantic options available...
- How to be more attractive because you're comfortable with being different and unique...
- How to be more confident to expose your true self earlier on in social interactions and not waste time...
- How to be more genuine with others during your social interactions...
- Instructions on how (and where) to use these exercises... so you get maximum and fastest benefit as possible.
Remember: The best way to continuously expand your absolutely social freedom is to stretch your comfort zone slowly but surely by working your way up
through a hierarchy of challenges. Setting a very clear plan for yourself and yours social goals will ensure that you'll be able to improve your absolutely social freedom threshold over time. If you do these exercises twice a week for 3 months, your absolute socal freedom threshold will increase and you'll become significantly more socially free.
Exercise 1: Eye contact
Make eye contact with at least 5 people. Hold it until the other one turns his/his gaze away.
Rate your comfort level: ___________
Exercise 2: Asking what time is it?
Walk up to a stranger and ask, "What time is it?"
Rate your comfort level: ___________
Exercise 3: Directions
Walk up to a stranger and ask for directions...
Rate your comfort level: ___________
Exercise 4: Small talk
Ask for directions and then make small talk for 30 seconds
Rate your comfort level: ___________
Exercise 5: Store clerk
Make small talk with a store clerk for at least 2 minutes
Rate your comfort level: ___________
Exercise 6: Rapport Seeker
Try to have a conversation for at least 3 minutes with a rapport seeker (charity collector, homeless guy, club promoter)
Rate your comfort level: ___________
Exercise 7: Small talk 2
Make small talk with a store clerk even after the next customer is getting rung up.
Rate your comfort level: ___________
Exercise 8: Tell a joke
Tell a joke in front of a people you know.
Rate your comfort level: ___________
Exercise 9: Dancing 1
Dance a little bit in a public place. Not too much. Just bounce a little or snap your fingers.
Rate your comfort level: ___________
Exercise 10: Walk up and sing
Walk down the street while singing or rapping. There's already a lot of people who do this, maybe you've seen them too.
Rate your comfort level: ___________
Exercise 11: Make that guy laugh
Walk up to a stranger and start a conversation. You MUST make the guy laugh. You can't leave the conversation until you make him laugh.
Rate your comfort level: ___________
Exercise 12: Butting In
Walk up to a group of people you don't know. Listen in on their conversation for a short time.
Then as soon as possible bait in and start taking to them as if you've been in the conversation the whole time.
Rate your comfort level: ___________
Exercise 13: Dancing 2
Dance full out on the street or in a public place.
Rate your comfort level: ___________
Exercise 14: Embarrassing Memory 1
Recall an embarrassing moment in front of a safe group - laugh at yourself.
Rate your comfort level: ___________
Exercise 15: Embarrassing Memory 2
Recall an embarrassing moment in a 1 on 1 conversation with a stranger.
Rate your comfort level: ___________
Exercise 16: Random Joke
Tell a joke in front of a group of strangers in a completely random place (the metro, a store, a bus, etc)
Rate your comfort level: ___________
Exercise 17: Moonwalk
Moonwalk in a circle around a group of strangers.
Rate your comfort level: ___________
Exercise 18: Telling secrets
Tell a deep dark secret to a stranger.
Rate your comfort level: ___________
“How Should You Use These Exercises?”
Find a place where there'll be plenty of people around (park, busy street, shopping mall, etc), and do as many exercises as you can.
Rate each exercise on a scale of 1-10 on how comfortable you felt doing them. A rating of 10 is 'the most comfortable.' For any exercises you can't do,
write in a zero and do the next exercise.
Make sure to rate the complete experience for each exercise. This includes a few moment leading up the exercises. Give an honest score to each exercise.
These scores are just for your development, and it's not going to be used to rank you.
On your first attempt, do NOT push yourself too hard. Your first tries is just a test to measure your level of social freedom.
Take note of things that goes through your voices during the lead up to each exercise. Most students report back that the lead up is the worst part. Doing
the exercise itself never results in anything as scary as what your mind invents during the lead up.
It should take your approximately 45 to 60 minutes to complete these 18 exercises on your first try. Then add up your score.
Keep track of all your scores as you repeat the exercises.
Do these exercises twice a week for as long as you continue to see improvement. Start pushing yourself more on the second and third tries.
Bring a friend with you and push each other to do more and more.
Always monitor your scores.
When your score is no longer going up every week, then you know you've gotten everything you can out of these exercises and it's time to stop using them.
If used consistently, these exercises will reduce your approach anxiety, increase your social freedom, and give you confidence in all social interactions.
Stay Chilled!
Abishek
P.S. Here's another related post on the subject: 20 “Killer” Tips to Overcome the Fear of Rejection… Forever!
