How to meet PEOPLE... not just women

[TommiV]

Hey,
I'm really startting at the start here but.

First off I'm Irish. I won't go on and on but a cold approach on the street here is gonna get you nowhere.
Its a pretty widely known fact, even statistic wise that most people tend to meet up through friends/nights out. People are more open and up for pick ups then. Going in cold on the street just freaks people out.

What I'm getting at though is... well, I know this sounds really bad but I haven't many friends. I mean, I have friends but no-one that close. Most of my buddies are from school and have moved on with their own things and own friends (through college, new jobs, etc...) so we're kinda moving apart. I try calling them up and asking them to do stuff but they usually aren't into it. My other few buddies, although, they might be up for hanging out, are more inclined to say yes to just going back to one of their houses with a few cans for a game of poker, its just "the lads", no females whatsoever... I mean I like that sometimes, but not every saturday night!!!! I wanna get out there, have fun. There are tons of live acts and club acts coming here in the next few months, a few have already been in Jan and Feb but none of my friends like them and wouldn't/won't go.. At 21 & 22 they only listen to Bob Dylan. They're were getting hysterical about him playing here this summer and getting tickets. I just couldn't get excited cos its not my thing. And they downright refuse anytime I ask them to come to some of the live music gigs or clubs or anything that I like, preferring to stay in by themselves listening to what sounds like "old man" music to me.

I dunno, it just seems like I'm in this rut. I REALLY want to turn things around and get out there... live a little ... practice and learn my "game".
But I keep thinking that if I could get some more guy friends, with similar interests who like doing stuff I do... Like just going out at the weekends... sports... & just doing "guy stuff" in general, then I'd have an easier time getting out there and meeting people and being more comfortable in social situations and having fun. But like I said, those I do know jsut aren't into things I am and just refuse to do anything or go anywhere I propose.

I know this is really sad, its really really beginners stuff, I'm not even asking how to pick up women here, I'm talking about, how do I get things together, so I meet people I enjoy hanging out with and doing stuff with. I just feel if i had more of that then I'd be a bit more confident with things and have a better base for things.

I mean its just getting really really frustrating like last Friday night there was a Top DJ flying in to play a club in the city. I really really wanted to go but none of my friends are into the music and wouldn't pay the €15 tickets so I ended up sitting at home. Its hard to start getting my game right when I KNOW I have to get other stuff together first. I just dunno how to get where I want to start.

Please no sarcastic answers, I know this is REALLY basic but I'm in a rut and I'm really trying to get my **** together now.

Thanks guys

 

[Anomalous]

Go out by yourself. You won't find any DJ sitting at home playing poker. You should have defineatly gone out to the Top DJ.

 

[No Bones]

Jesus man, it seems like I'm similar and dissimilar to you in so many ways.

I'm Irish too, and most of my mates would prefer hanging at houses, listening to Dylan, than going out. Big difference is these guys are my best friends, and they generally will go to any old gig the odd time. And I like Dylan.

Deep down though, additionally to having the ability to "dial a woman's buttons" so to speak, some day I really want to be a cool, social guy, probably like yourself.

What do you have to do? Get yourself out, alone, and get talking. Initially, get rejected by women, and view everything as a social experiment.

As for cold approaches, I'd say that Irish people wouldn't get weirded out by someone who has their game together, presuming this guy understands social dynamics and is able to get the person comfortable quick. It's more for the advanced DJ I reckon, so just concentrate on social gatherings for now.

 

[TommiV]

Cheers Guys,

But No Bones, how do you get over feeling, well, weird, going out alone. I mean, I'm used to doing stuff alone cos its easier to just get off my ass and do what I want to do than wait around trying to change peoples minds to come wit me. Thats cool and all, only for the fact that things likes clubs or pubs just kinda feel werid to go alone.
I mean, if people see you it like "who are u wit?" , "eh, no-one".

 

[No Bones]

Sure I still have traces of insecurities going out too. One of my biggest fears would be to be seen alone at a pub/club by people I know or have known in my life. It's one of the stupidest feelings, and one of the worst excuses I pull out of my ass just before I head into a pub/club. I'm working on it though...

You really have to learn to be indifferent to what people think of you when you go out alone, because does anyone really care that much? Does anyone even care?
I guess I'm fortunate as I've been forced to go out to gigs on my own (big into the music) since the age of 15 (I'm 18 now btw) due to friends' disinterest/flakiness (not all the time, but every so often). Now I can engage in conversations with people easily enough in this setting.
With regards to clubs, I'm a little alien to them, but hopefully I can get accustomed to their enviroment soon.

If people question who you are with, just say "I lost my mates at another pub". That's my default line, although I have yet to be in a situation where I am asked that. Of course, when you get a little more experienced, add a little playfulness and there ya go.