"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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How to interprete when a girl relates these stories...?

mungro

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Hey,

I know a girl around here... let's say she's early 20's, post college. We've talked before and she's cute and cordial, but the thing that bothers me so far about this chick is that so far in our limited frame of conversations, TWICE now she's recounted stories to me out of the clear blue sky, about how she got sorta sketched out by a guy who's tried to hit on her sometime recently... Both stories go something like:

"oh, gosh... let me tell you what happened the other day, [such and such] guy walked up to me and asked me if I'm going out tonight... blah blah blah, isn't that weird? I wasn't sure if he was asking me out or just asking... blah blah"

OR

"the other day, such and such guy, walked up to me, I haven't even ever talked to him before, and he says to me... oh, you've got really nice legs... blah blah blah, and he really freaked me out, since we've never even met before... etc etc."

In response to these, I just sorta shrug and smile, and say... cool. That's interesting... But what the heck am I supposed to say to such idiotic stories? And more importantly, what is a girl REALLY trying to say when she puts these stories out there like that to a guy?
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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flippinfreak

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She's checking you out... nah, it's not a sh!t test... she WANTS YOU!!!

She tells you a story, she's laying it down for you. Telling you the movies to make, seeing if your actually listenting to her!

What you do...

Listen CLOSE

Any action cue, is your time to step in...

"let me tell you what happened the other day"

The other day? This sounds good, keep it coming.

"THis guy walked up to me and asked if I'm going out tonight"

*close in on her until she's got your eyes caught*You ARE going out tonight right?

"yeah like that"

"Isn't that weird? I wasn't sure if he was asking me out"

Sure he was, you can't pick up signals or something?

Mock her a little...

If her stories bug you out... try and hide it a little.
 

mungro

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You know, I like what your saying, I've completely overlooked the information that could be used in what she's saying... but i'm not really sure it can be used for this case... I just haven't really encountered quite a case like this before where a girl I'm not really that familiar with seems like she really wants to tell me about how NOT to approach her, or how she DOESN'T like creepy guys coming on to her... I know it sounds weak, but I'll be honest, it makes me not want to make any moves knowing I'd be the next one she "talks" about.
 

The Forms

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when a girl tells you about something lame another dude does that is her asking you to do better.
 

Radiator

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That's interesting. The same thing happened to me today. I was talking to this girl and suddenly she started talking to me about how some boys (in the same social circle as us) hit on her. The thing is that she added that she could never date any one in our social circle because it would feel awkward.

I don't know why she did it... does anyone else have any ideas why girls do this?

I'm guessing it has something to do with trying to make themselves look more like the price, if you get what I mean. They think they can impress you by telling you that a lot of guys hit on them and bla bla bla. If so, then it's definitely a sign of interest, they try to make themselves more valuable to you. "My girl" even tried to become a challenge by telling me indirectly she'd never date me! I just need to be persistent! :)
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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mungro

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Radiator

Yeah, I think that sounds similiar to the girl I know... my first impression when this one girl told a story like that to me, I thought she was just stupid and had nothing to talk about. But when she did it again later on, my second impression was that I thought she had a bit low self esteem and wanted to try and blow her own horn in front of me to see how I would react to her... But really, when I think about it, i think when girls say things like this, at least to me... they really are just demonstrating their genuine non-interest in guys... It's like they are throwing up the flag early in advance... that's my take. From what I've known about this girl up till now, she is in contact with a variety of people our age and has not had any serious relations with any guy in a months... freaking girls are like mysteries.
 

Macgyver

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It could mean anything. If you're wondering if she's interested in you, all you gotta do is make the moves to determine the truth.
 

Radiator

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"My girl" hasn't had a relationship in over a year! I think you might be right. I think they do it because they're insecure. Maybe it's a desperate explanation of why they're single? That they're picky? I don't believe for a second that this girl is not interested in boys! ;)
 
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