How to break it off? Possible BPD

[Le killeur]

Hey guys. First time posting in a while due to my being in a relationship for the past 6 months or so.

Anyway I've decided that my relationship is no longer sustainable. This girl is beginning to show signs she is a BPD and I find myself hating her more and more by the day. She seems to take me for granted, belittle me in front of friends, hot and cold, extremely moody, disrespectful and will flirt/ compliment of other guys.

I know this sounds ridiculous but I can honestly say that I do the same. I have gamed her to the point where she says she loves me, wants me over her friends and constantly wants me around. All the time I have remained emotionally detached, not told her I love her and play hot/cold etc. I feel this girl does truly love me.

However she is showing signs of BPD. Lots of personal questions. Wanting to know everything about my previous sexual/relationship experience (even admits she doesn't like the answers but asks anyway) jokingly asks who I prefer between her and my friends. She will attempt to belittle me in front of friends etc. almost as if she feels she can. I also feel as I I can't trust her. And the list goes on.

The PROBLEM is that we are at university and entwined within the same friendship group. As in if we broke up we would see each other everywhere and contact between us would be unavoidable. I can also imagine she would be very bitter in breakup. ( the type of bit*h to try and get you back by who*ing off with friends.

I have realised I am in an unhealthy relationship and have been suspicious of her red flags/BPD symptoms for a while and have remained emotionally detached. However, I just don't know how to leave. I am inexperienced in relationships and this is the first BPD I think I've encountered

Please help

 

[Zarky]

You can overgame/mindf*ck a chick so much that it makes her insane. I've sadly done this on a few occasions. If a girl starts out "normal," ie., without major red-flag hangups, and she eventually goes nuts, there's a chance you gamed her so hard that it f*cked up her mind.

Now, it's hard to make this determination based on one chick. But if you find yourself in relps where the chick starts out normal and loving (not overly loving like some BPDs start out as), only to become jealous, suspicious, clingy and overall nuts, there's a chance you're mindf*cking her to the point where she doesn't know what's normal anymore.

Girls can go nuts if they're in a relp where love is unpredictable. Just like kids. A certain level of unpredictability is absolutely necessary or you become boring, but if it's completely unpredictable then they will act in the same way you act when your sleep schedule is completely unpredictable. They'll get emotional, frazzled, grouchy and combative.

 

[Le killeur]

Zekko I think you've hit the nail on the head. I would probably agree that I've probably mindfu*ked/gamed her abit too much.

Any advice on how to proceed?

 

[zekko]

I know this sounds ridiculous but I can honestly say that I do the same. I have gamed her to the point where she says she loves me, wants me over her friends and constantly wants me around. All the time I have remained emotionally detached, not told her I love her and play hot/cold etc. I feel this girl does truly love me.

I keep reading here that this is the way to "game" women, this is the way to get them attracted.

She seems to take me for granted, belittle me in front of friends, hot and cold, extremely moody, disrespectful and will flirt/ compliment of other guys.

And this is the result? It's about what I would expect. This is love? No thanks.

 

[Cremasta]

She seems to take me for granted, belittle me in front of friends, hot and cold, extremely moody, disrespectful and will flirt/ compliment of other guys.

... All the time I have remained emotionally detached, not told her I love her and play hot/cold etc.

Are you surprised?

The only option you have is to just talk to her and tell her it's not working out.
Don't worry about the Uni group so much. It's only for a couple of years, plus most of them will be adults and won't actually care enough to take sides in any prolonged conflict, you won't keep in contact with most of them afterwards anyway.